Im baaaacck's blog: "San Diego/Mexico Trip"

Before you open me Make sure this is truly something you want to do Right now all you have is an outside view Are you ready to explore what lies within? Think about this for a while before you begin What you’re about to experience is very precious Some would say priceless I am wise beyond my years as my soul is old Some would say ageless Few have scratched the surface And many failed to grasp its meaning Of a life that has taken me Far beyond simple dreaming. Are you prepared to dive Into the black sea of my soul? Can you abandon all your fears And all that you’ve been told? Are you ready For a new kind of addiction? I think you like danger At least that’s my prediction Learn what makes me smile And what touches my heart Learn why it is I relish the dark Hear the laughing demons Tuck me in at night Feel the lustful passions Lurking behind my blackened sight Open me Touch my pages Be careful I can be quite contagious Smell the scents of stained tears And untamed dark desires Take a risk, take a chance And let me take you higher Take a few deep breaths And breathe into me Take it slow, start to read me And then re-read me Get to know me Not just a part of me But every part Until you know me completely Read all of me Endlessly Fondle me Incessantly Open me very carefully Take all the time you need Open me like a lover would But let me take the lead Don't search for selected phrases Read me slow in steady stages I’m a great read unlike any other The faster you begin, the quicker you’ll discover Don't read between the lines Memorize every word and ever rhyme Let me turn you one with the warmth of my honesty And cool you off with the gentle touch of my heart Know me backwards and forwards Desire me inside and out Take all the time you need to learn What this princess is all about Once finished Let me flow into you soul And crawl deep inside I’m the half that makes you whole When you come to the end You will notice some blank pages Those are for the stories yet to be told For the passions within that will never grow old Let us color these pages with our love And darken them with our desires Walk this life long journey with me Write a never-ending story with me Our story, our destiny Our life Ever Wonder What A Princess Is? The soul of a princess Soars the blackened skies Searching for a fairy tale Beneath the mounting lies The heart of a princess Sails along the darkest sea Showering you with feelings Of peace and serenity Her scent is like forbidden secrets Like dark things better left unsaid Searching for her prince Finding demons instead She's bravely drank the poison Often disguised as wine Tasting the bitterness of death And surviving it just fine The princess holds great power As many are aware Some cannot control themselves As they're forced to stop and stare Her beauty is like darkness Dominating your sight Her touch is an addiction Flaming fingers of delight In the dark recesses of your mind Surrender to the dream Allow the princess to guide you Taking you to the extreme She'll help the stars fulfill your wishes Lighting up the blackest night She'll bring happiness you deserve Don't let her out of your sight These Thoughts of Mine Been a while since I let my thoughts run wild Seldom expressing the needs I try to hide Better left unsaid then it won't hurt so much Better to forget but then it comes in such a rush Love swells inside with no where to grow Lost inside with no where to go I look into the angry eyes of the dark No light shines above not even a spark Love is felt through programmed visions Cutting in deep precise incisions And for a brief moment I forget I'm alone But it quickly comes back and always takes me home Thoughts like snowflakes melt away If it's cold enough they always stay This heart of mine knows just one tune And it sings silently with the moon Pain like razor blades on my soul Watch until the blood runs cold Blackness once again to cover Leaving darkness as my lover Life Killed The Dream She sings it every night In a love song Her heart is breaking Darkness in the making All because life killed the dream She writes with every rhyme In her poetry Her wings are broken No words to be spoken All because life killed the dream She remembers every line Every lie No longer young at heart Darkness plays a part All because life killed the dream She waits for a sign That is silent Every light fades Only darkness shades All because life killed the dream Bitter Emptiness I’m no light in anyone's life Far from becoming any man's wife There are no children to kiss goodnight Happiness is nowhere in my sight Hopes and dreams fill up the day At night demons come out and play Too much drama with too little laughter I want my happily ever after When I cannot see a rainbow's smile When disappointments seem to pile When dismal thoughts fill up my time I struggle for just one more rhyme My naked soul cries silently For a sparkle of sincerity As a girl losing her identity Seeks traces of humanity Who knows what tomorrow brings Struggling to fly with broken wings When the song of yesterday sharply stings I try to remember my favorite things How did it all become such a mess? I should accept for nothing less My life I guess I must confess Is filled with bitter emptiness

my whereabouts Current mood: soooo hungover I feel absolutely awful!!! I definately played the drunk role at Purgatory last night. I only planned on having a couple of beers.... I took a friend who had never been. The line was around the building when we got there! Sooooo, we went in the pub next door to try and let it die down a little. That is where it all began. She got a shot of tequila and a Michelob. So, like the good host, I had to have a shot of Jager and a budweiser. We did this several times. I lost count. So, when the line had not died down, we were drunk and didn't care about it being so freaking cold! We're standing in line. U will never believe who got in line behind us!!!!! Cupid... LOL He had on wings and a pair of fruit of the loom underwear and tennis shoes. Drunk, cold and in line with cupid!!! After we finally got in, it was an EXCELLENT show! There was an awesome crowd. And, Amos' has no sortage of alcohol either... I got to see alot of my friends and took many pics with the photographers. Anna Nicole's passing brought on many people saying how much I look like her. I don't see it. But, I heard that alot last night. Anna Nicole was an icon in my eyes. May she R.I.P. Purgatory went good right up until the last hour or so. Anybody who reads my blog knows my situation with the ex. I looked up on the balcony and there that Mother Fucker stood!!!!! He KNEW I would be there. I am sure it was to try and upset me. It did. But, not in the way you would think. Recently my youngest son had contact with him. It was against my better judgement but, I tried to be the better person. They talked on the phone and became friends here on myspace. Which, I was OK with, I guess. Well, he LIED to my son. He told my son he lived in Michigan and he lives here in NC!!! Well, there is no need to lie to the kid who loved you. He is neither here nor there when it comes to our situation. Sober, I would have laughed at him and told him what an idiot he looked like if he approached me. Drunk is another story. I had to go up on the balcony where they were to make sure my eyes didn't play tricks on me. I had FULL intentions of giving him a piece of my mind about my kid. Well, they got gone and QUICKLY. It is a very good thing as I was drunk and angry. My friend who is drunker than me has the great idea to call his phone on the way home. And, my drunk ass was driving... Bad decision. His girlfriend starts texting her phone. LOL She called me or my friend not sure which. Let's see fat whore, said she looked like a man.... You name it. I am sitting here now laughing at how ridiculous te whole situation was. But, I was freakin MAD last night!!! NO MORE alcohol for a while. btw...... I am swolen from surgery and will be for the next 2 months if u r reading Lauri or Kevin. NOT fat..... LOL Alls I can say is when u result to name calling. It must really suck to be you. LOL Green is the ugliest color of the rainbow!!! But, you really wore it well. Just remember, no matter how hard u try u will never be me!!!!! LOLOLOL I will also say Kevin was the worst mistake I EVER made in my life. You have no worries. I do not want him. I was drunk last night and very ignorant..... If he makes u happy, more power to the both of you. I only hope u r protecting yourself.... Because as I was, you will be cheated on and replaced. And, you and your children will be put out in the cold with no where to go as Me and mine were. FYI..... he had me give up my house to move in his while he went to Detroit. After he met you, he put us out. I still have the email to proove it and will share anytime. I wish you the best of luck. But, watch your back. On to a better subject. I found my sons father!!!! I looked for 14 years. And, I found relatives, guess where? Here on myspace!!!!!! My goodness. I have nieces and nephews out the yang. Aaron has brothers and sisters and his Dad is coming down soon to visit. He is so happy and finally complete. The years have really changed his Dad's life and he is so excited and happy to FINALLY get ot know his son. If u look in my top friends, you can see all of my newly found family. Most are still under 18. But, I have a niece in college too. I also found my oldest sons Dad. He sent him a letter last week. We haven't heard back yet and I am not positive I got the right address. But, I hope and pray he will contact Joey so he can finally be complete as well. I love him with all my heart but, he needs to know where he came from. In the beginning, there were 2. Update on me. I am finally well. Just reallllly hung over today. I finally got over the pneumonia! My surgery is healing well. The new girls did great. The body sculpting is another story. It is a long healing process with that procedure. I got my arms, thighs, back and butt done. I am probably 2 sizes bigger than I was b4 surgery right now. When the swelling does down, I will be 2-4 sizes smaller than I was before. The bruising is all gone, finally. And, I don't have to wear that gay undergarment anymore. I am just waiting to exhale now. LOL I think that about covers it all. Hope every one is doing great! And as always, peace, love and sex majick to you all! Amy

Sunday, February 11, 2007 An American Icon, Sex symbol dies. R.I.P Anna Nicole Current mood: sad HOLLYWOOD - Reality TV star, actress and former model Anna Nicole Smith has died after collapsing in Hollywood, Florida. The 39-year-old was found unconscious in her hotel room at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino this afternoon. According to hotel officials, Smith was "unresponsive" and emergency crews performed CPR at the scene and a breathing apparatus was inserted in her throat. Paramedics were seen pumping her chest as she was taken from the hotel and transported to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood just after 2 p.m. EST today. She died at 3:45 p.m. EST. Local streets were closed off to rush Smith to the hospital, three miles away. Her five-month-old daughter, Dannielynn, was not with her mother, sources say. The baby is being cared for by a family friend in the Bahamas, where Smith has been living since last summer. Anna Nicole was fighting eviction and paternity lawsuits at the time of her death. Ex-boyfriends Larry Birkhead and G. Ben Thompson had both filed lawsuits against the actress/model. Photojournalist Birkhead claimed filed a paternity suit last year claiming he was the biological father of Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn, while developer Thompson has been fighting to evict her from the home he helped secure for her in the Bahamas last summer. On Wednesday, a California judge demanded Smith submit her baby daughter for a DNA test by Feb. 21--in an effort to end the battle over who the biological father of the baby is. At the time of her death, Smith was also fighting the estate of her late husband, oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall, for a share of his estate. Marshall died in 1995. In 2002, she was awarded $88 million from the estate of her late husband, but was denied claim that she was also owed interest on that money. Smith's life has been rocked with the bizarre and the tragic with moments of happiness and success. Born Vicky Lynn Hogan in Houston, she started her career as a waitress in a fried chicken restaurant but tasted success as a Playboy model, actress and star of her own self-titled, bizarre reality TV show. Smith was named Playboy Playmate of the Month in May 1992 and Playboy Playmate of the Year in 1993. She shocked the world when she married J. Howard Marshall II in 1994 when she was 26 and the oil tycoon was almost 90. Last September was a joyful and terrible month for the actress--she gave birth to baby daughter Dannielynn just three days before her 20-year-old son Daniel died from a lethal overdose of methadone and antidepressants in his mother's hospital room in the Bahamas. Best known as a socialite, public figure and diet product spokesmodel, Smith also appeared in a handful of movies, including The Hudsucker Proxy, Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult and her final movie Illegal Aliens, which was released last year. http://www.images.hollywood.com/cms/300x375/3654189.jpg Good bye Anna Nicole..... You were a beauty, loving mother and an American icon. Your memory lives on! You will be missed! R.I.P. beautiful one....