This is a sad week for me. I alway have a hard time this time of year. Thirteen years ago my dad died on Thanksgiving Day.
I find it hard to pass this week in any sort of happiness. I'm supposed to be thankful for the blessings in my life... but it seems a week that I always find myself blue no matter how focused I try to be on the holiday preparations and family.
Everyone else is starting their Christmas shopping, bustling around and being productive, and I always find myself in such a funk that I can't get out of my own way.
I am always most thankful when Thanksiving is over and November is behind me, and I can move on to the celebration of Christmas. But right now I am just caught in my sadness.
My mom will be arriving in a few hours to stay until the holiday... and of course she'll be getting on my case because the thinks I am depressed. I think I just have the normal ups and downs that anybody has. Just not entirely happy with the way my life is going just now. I have plenty to be thankful for, it's just that right now I feel kind of stuck... I really miss having my dad to talk to sometimes.
The older I get the more I miss him. I was only 26 when he passed away and he was only 49. The closer to his age I get the more I understand how tough things must have been for him in his life. I just wish I had the benefit of his advice sometimes. I miss him.
He had lots of issues and he wasn't dealing with them well. But he was always a good dad and an intelligent man. I wish he could have lived to see his 4 grandchildren and all the happiness that these children would have brought to his life. I feel sad for all the things he has missed.
So if I am sad this week, you'll know why. I'll be better in a week or so. :)
Thanks for reading and for being a friend.
