the other day i had a revelation.. everything i have experienced, Getting fired, moving, Death of a loved one, Heartbreak, Lust, Love, pain, psychological torment, Divorce, getting a job, school, Getting high, Car accidents, Injury, Dreams, Drinking, Premonitions, Backstabbing, Deceit, Freindship, Rage. it has followed me this whole way. there is one thing i've desired most. and that is to raise a family, is it because my dad pressures me to find a mate, i don't know. I don't know if it's biological, or if i was trained this way. none of these things i have listed compare to the responseability that comes with bringing a child into the world. i have been to countless parties, met countless people. drank my way into the depths of oblivion. walked along the beaches with a freind sang songs at volumes most would be to embarased to do. all these things and more have taught me much about life. and though i may not be ready, i am prepared to face the challenge of being a father. to learn my life's ultimate lesson. everything is nil in comparrison, but i feel somehow will come into play in the coming years. i have plenty of more life to experience. but i feel i want to take my life to the next level. I hada dream the other night, one might call it very weird, but in this dream i seemed to channel the experience of pregnancy, the mind is a powerful thing. it can show what might and what might not be, in unison.
i really can't describe it much further, other than if i were to take you into the realms of my dreams. as that is the only place i have been. i felt over encomapsing joy and bliss.
i rarely pour my soul into the void where it may be ravaged and beaten. but this is the way of the world. And i write this with the greatest love and hope and courage.
Peace be with you my freinds.
<3 Leland
