There are a lot of men & women out there who are involved in
relationships out of convenience to fill particular voids in their
lives. Not saying that your relationship is out of convenience or your
feelings for your partner aren't necessarily real, but I've witnessed
many men & women who've accepted certain people in their lives for a
certain convenience whether it be for financial security, filling an
emotional gap, or searching for stability. Prime example, I've known a
young woman who was dealing with a lot of stress & feeling the weight
of the world on her shoulders.
When she felt like the walls were closing in on her, she immediately
clung onto some man she met off the internet & called herself
searching for her independence. She ran from her problems into another
state of problems all because she needed him to run away from life.
Moving away to a place she knew nothing about, she depended on this
man to provide her a roof over her head, food on the table, clothes on
her back, & a few dollars to do whatever her hearts desired with. Now
tell me that don't sound like a relationship out of convenience to
you? He was Mr. Right now at the right time and she needed the
services he offered to her in order to survive; a relationship out of
convenience.
Also another example, say if you were a single mother on welfare
struggling to provide a life for you & yours off of minimal education
& job placing skills and everything in your life turns topsy- turvy at
a snap of a finger. You can't find a job, your welfare & section 8 is
about to run out and you're looking at being out on the street in 30
days if you don't come up with the rent. You've already owned up to
the fact that every avenue you've exhausted & your will to provide was
useless and wasn't getting you anywhere. So what is the next option to
explore, you decide to settle for whoever comes into your life to play
the Captain Sava hoe role. What you know about her setting a 364 day
goal to find a man, fall in love, & get married? Well, that's exactly
what she did all because she knew that she needed stability for her
family & a good father for her son.
Just knowing that she'll never have to work again and having the
weight of bills on her chest would never be a worry factor again. She
got with him out of convenience because she needed her financial,
emotional, & stability voids filled plus a steady father & family
environment for her child, she did what she had to do in order for her
& her son to live the comfortable life in which she couldn't provide.
Now do those two examples give you a better understanding on what a
relationship out of convenience really means?
If not, then here's an example this time in the male perspective.
Here's one about a male with no desire to hit the pavement & search
for work. He finds an unattractive low self-esteem female who's
wanting & needing her emotional & sexual voids filed all while he's
looking for someone to live off of; both parties are using each other
for personal & material gain. The man lives off of her all while
falling into his usual comfort zone. As long as she's acceptable to
him & what he's giving to her sexually & emotionally, then he'll
continue to remain in that comfort zone that she's allowed him to
settle in.
Again, all of these cases are categorized under relationships out of
convenience and this act is more common than you think. Now that
you've reviewed the details of a relationship out of convenience, I
ask you to do a re-evaluation of your relationship and ask yourself if
you've settled into a relationship out of convenience. Reflect back on
the choices you've made to help shape your life and determine whether
the decisions you've made were decisions made out of convenience for
you. You'll never know what you'll discover about yourself until you do.
