Hmm....'tis interesting the synchronicities in life. One moment you are moving blindly forward, not looking back and the next you are reflecting upon past events in order to evaluate your possible future.
It never ceases to amaze me how easily we move from reflecting negatively upon our past to looking back with fondness at the good times. The most insignificant things that you never thought you would miss come to the fore as dramatic realizations of ones times of change and growth. The experiences in a persons life molds them into who they are in the present and yet at the same time do not make up who they are as a person.
Too easily to we fall into the trap of psychological patterns and programing shaped by our upbringing and experiences. Most people living those patterns out until the day they die all too unaware that they are locked into this cycle or even that they are more than the sum of their experiences.
How desperately we cling to the comfort of familiarity for fear of discovering that there is something more to ourselves than we thought. We are too afraid to be held accountable by ourselves for our own actions. Instead we would, as humans, prefer to drug ourselves and become oblivious or turn to religion so that there is someone to hold us accountable when we are 'bad' and someone to dictate to us what constitutes being a 'bad' or 'good' person.
The responsibility of accountability to ones self is a challenging one. Personally, I would rather be more self aware and have then the choices that gives me than to have all choices removed from me and live according to so-called 'fate'.
To each his own I suppose. Enough rambling for one night.
