Esoterick's blog: "Insane ramblings of a blonde chick"

The only reason I’m able to type semi-constantly is thanks to auto correct. Lots of owie, pain meds yay, tech prowess go bye bye. I’ll fix em later. Don’t judge. ????

Enjoy some new pics (yah, some are NSFW…duh). Fiddling around online after a sprained ankle and road rash. Fun times! Times like these I need a full time slave. *evil grin*

http://amandagraham.org/  Please check it out.  I'm really trying to give it a go

This is a rant, and is not intended to be disrespectful or offensive. 

Do you think this new policy might be a little overboard?  I live in the desert and RARELY wear anything that isn't tank-top like.  Do I have to wear an oversized tent in order to get an avatar approved? 

My previous avatar showed nothing sexual.  No boob, no nipple.  Some cleavage, shoulder, and HAIR.  Do I need to shave my head for an avatar to be approved?

This policy really seems to send a double message.  An adult site, for consenting adults.  I can understand no tits or dick being in an avatar...but seriously?  What about skirts?  Are you going to ban skirts in avatar's too?  Or feet?  Some people get off on feet.  The same goes for lips, there IS a lip fetish.  There is also a hand fetish, an arm hair fetish, an eye fetish.  If you're trying to make this policy to prevent sexual arousal over an avatar, then it has already failed.

As for the people with kids running around while they're surfing Fubar; perhaps they should be taking care of their children and using their FREE time for Fubar.  It doesn't seem right to me that most users who can actually manage our time are punished because some people don't seem capable of managing their personal boundaries.  I am sure they wouldn't be watching porn while their children were in the next room and awake, or perhaps they would, and that is why this policy is now here.

People who are surfing Fubar while at work in an office space on computers with content blocks should most likely be DOING THEIR JOB. 

So let's punish the rest of the membership who have appropriate boundaries and who actually have a work ethic?

The avatar I had up had been there for a year.  It showed no nudity other than shoulders and neck and a hint of cleavage.  It was artistically and tastefully done and inspired erections only in those who have a hair fetish.  I used it because it is my favorite photo of myself.

I suppose some people are complaining because they can't win a popularity contest without being naked.  The fact of the matter is, HUMAN BEINGS ARE SEXUALLY MOTIVATED.  Even with clothing, it always boils down to sexual motivation.  We gravitate to those we are attracted to.  If someone doesn't fit that bill, then even changing the rules isn't going to make them the most popular person on the site.  So what?  They bitch and moan and get a policy changed and...?  They're still going to bitch and moan until all the fun aspects of this site are done away with and it's just another boring MySpace.

I don't care about popularity.  I care about personal expression.  My photo hurt NO ONE.  It is even acceptable for underage people to look at.  It's considerably less revealing than most pictures in the media.  Kids are bombarded with penile enhancement adds, Victoria's secret adds with scantily clad women parading around, and considerably more sexually provocative imagery. Even in watching football they get to see half naked cheerleaders with skirts that barely cover their asses. Yet THIS is your stand?  No tank tops?  No bikini's?  That makes no logical sense. 

So correct me if I am wrong, but this new policy boils down to making people with low self esteem feel better and less threatened, and keeping kids who should have their parents paying attention to them instead of Fubar from seeing possible shoulder, armpit or cleavage?  I find that intensely disturbing.

This is the link to the picture in question: http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=2190994&albumid=0&i=4217299915

I've rescued these 3 kittens in the past 3 months despite not having the means to give them the care they require. Chewy, the (Grey short hair fancy cat male) was a stray taken in by my friend. She neglected to do anything about his cold, sinus infection, or his watering eyes.  He also had one of the worst ear infections I've ever seen full of mites and bacterial/yeast...  I need donations to help with his medical treatments and finding him a forever home, with love and the attention that he deserves.. I am doing my best to keep him well fed, and clean. Ive been washing his ears out regularly to try to eliminate the mite/ yeast problem. Since then he has gained weight and turned into the the sweetest kitten. He loves to be held, he's very good with other cats, and kids as well... He's ultra mellow and just rad in general! Please Help chewy get better, and find a wonderful home... I found (Babe) while I was at Wal-Mart one afternoon, and I heard this cry for help from a kitten. When I heard it I thought to myself, (A feral cat doesn't cry like this...). So I looked under the cars and in the wheel wells to find this frightened, exhausted, distressed kitten. I wrapped her in a blanket that I had in the car and took her home A.S.A.P!  She passed out for a few hours after I bundled her up. She was exhausted from running scared through the busy parking lot. She looked like she'd been in a cat fight. She had cuts on her ears, and back. Her nails were shredded up from trying to scale walls most likely. This kitten was so grateful to be in my arms and away from harm that she let me clean her up, and clean out her ears with no problem. She purrs, climbs up on my shoulders and rubs on me, and my son. This kitten is amazing and has a wonderful personality. She loves to play and explore. She needs lots of attention, medical assistance, spaying, shots, treatment for her ears, and all that jazz.. Trust me when I say she is so worth it.  I love these cats so much, I wish i could provide for them better but I'm a single mom and I have two indoor cats already that are 8 years old..   Please help Babe find her forever home as well. I was riding bikes with my son when we stopped to pet this kitten laying on the sidewalk.. He wouldn't move out of the way for us to get by and was determined to get our attention... ; ) So we sat down and played with him for awhile. Soon after that we had to get home as it was beginning to get late, as we walked away we noticed him walking close behind us.. he followed us the whole way home.. He more or less adopted us.. lol.. He hasn't left since.. He (Puma is what we call him) isn't afraid of anything or anyone and loves everyone. He holds himself like a lion and is very sure of himself. He follows my son and I around everywhere we go in the yard and laundry room... Puma is a black tabby mix. I'm pretty sure the rest of his litter lives down the street but since he shows no interest in rejoining them I cant be sure. Unfortunately he has the worst sinus infection of them all, and some breathing problems too.. He has mites like all of the others as well. I know he needs medical attention more so even than the others. He has been with us over a week and a half now. They're all eating well and getting attention, but they need medical attention that I cannot provide. If I could I wouldn't be writing this letter on their behalf. I want more than anything for them to find their awesome forever homes and get the absolute best placement they could possibly ever get, along with all the medical attention they need, and all the love that they deserve. Id like to add that in helping these little balls of personality I have put my own 2 cats that aren't just pets, but family, in jeopardy as a result. And they need medical attention because I cared too much to walk away and let the little ones fend for themselves. And by spending what I have in trying to recuperate the little ones back to health. Ive put myself in a situation were I cannot afford to get my own cats the medical attention that they need. Max needs dental work/ antibiotics A.S.A.P. Max is in so much pain that when he eats that he usually ends up getting sick and is visibly stressed out (hair loss). He had two teeth pulled in January and blood work done as well. (Feline Viral Plus T4) possible hyperthyroidism or non-thyroidal illness. The vet said he needed more blood work before he would give him any further shots (FVRCP), and they are both due for their shots. They have also picked up the mites from the stray rescue kittens as well... They both resently recoverd from liver problems and jaundice. I've given all the cats treatments of Frontline. I am more than willing to trade tattoo work for help with getting my cats  the medical treatment they need and get them updated on their shots etc. They were both rescue kittens when I found them in 2000. It was winter, they were very sick, and I nursed them back to health even though I honestly didn't think that they'd make it . They have been well and healthy since then... till now. They are both fixed and have had there check-ups and initial shots. My sister Tracy Zimmer used to work for A.A.W.L. and Maricopa County Animal Care and Control. I used to paint murals for their kennel areas and was in their foster-care program for 10 years. She always helped me with what ever they needed, we helped each other to help the animals. We did wonderful work together, but since then shes moved out of state and is not able to help anymore.  The economy is very harsh, and my job as a tattoo artist is the first to get hit when it comes to a reduction in the economy. I'm a single mom with two cats and a dog.. and I need help!! I'd like to use my talents as a Tattoo Artist, Mural Painter, and Custom Design Specialist to fund raise or barter for these wonderful animals futures!!! I would love to paint local offices, indoor-outdoor murals, logo's etc... Even Design Logo's or Help as much as possible with rescue workers, and foster care programs. Thanks to Wendy De Luca she has given me the inspiration to get so involved again. She is truly an amazing person, with a heart of gold! Thank You! You may view my Portfolio at www.myspace.com/jadeswan  Please send donations to: Sun City Animal Hospital 10026 Santa Fe Drive Sun City, Az. 85351 (623) 974-3691 Account:2794 it's under Wendy De Luca "Kitten"

Hmm....'tis interesting the synchronicities in life. One moment you are moving blindly forward, not looking back and the next you are reflecting upon past events in order to evaluate your possible future. It never ceases to amaze me how easily we move from reflecting negatively upon our past to looking back with fondness at the good times. The most insignificant things that you never thought you would miss come to the fore as dramatic realizations of ones times of change and growth. The experiences in a persons life molds them into who they are in the present and yet at the same time do not make up who they are as a person. Too easily to we fall into the trap of psychological patterns and programing shaped by our upbringing and experiences. Most people living those patterns out until the day they die all too unaware that they are locked into this cycle or even that they are more than the sum of their experiences. How desperately we cling to the comfort of familiarity for fear of discovering that there is something more to ourselves than we thought. We are too afraid to be held accountable by ourselves for our own actions. Instead we would, as humans, prefer to drug ourselves and become oblivious or turn to religion so that there is someone to hold us accountable when we are 'bad' and someone to dictate to us what constitutes being a 'bad' or 'good' person. The responsibility of accountability to ones self is a challenging one. Personally, I would rather be more self aware and have then the choices that gives me than to have all choices removed from me and live according to so-called 'fate'. To each his own I suppose. Enough rambling for one night.