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One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.....
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied,
"The one you feed."
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This is your code beyooottch: <img src="http://b.pcc2.fubar.com/59/16/9766195/425891945.jpg" border="0">
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In 2013, I was emotionally crippled. I would wake up each morning with a forlorn look to the alarm clock. I was serving another day of my sentence. I would mentally go through a list of my crimes, one by one:
Capital Offenses:
1. Father Who Abandoned His Family.
2. Failure at Marriage.
3. Not smart enough.
4. Not attractive enough.
5. Friendless.
6. Disappointment to those who loved me.
7. Smoker.
8. Poor judge of character.
I would carry this burden wherever I go. It was constantly reinforced by my ex-wife and the woman I mistook for someone entirely different. Maybe I made up the woman I knew for a month, only to peel back her green eyes and freckles and fiery red hair to reveal an all consuming beast, constantly denigrating me. My warden who had me by the leash with threats of suicide and violence. She signed my prisoner consent form in her own blood, the cuts still dripping from the night before when we argued about who would clean the feces up off the floor from the only two living beings that showed me any love: my fellow dogs.
I would grasp desperately to my one saving grace: I was good at my job. I would spend all night working and all morning and then all night the next day. Moments in between were spent smoking a cigarette loosely dangling from a shaking hand. Ocassionally a tsunami of weakness would tear me asunder and drown my mind with an escape plan. It would evaporate into the smoke filled air of a Sunday hangover. Mostly it would end with months of sobriety, overachieving at my job, and sobbing hysterically. I can see myself on the blood red couch, my mouth gaping as wide open as my heart, tears showering down in fountains from my eyes. Her mocking voice "You're just going to sit there crying all day like a big cry baby? What a retard! I can't believe you're just going to allow her to take your children away to some german pedophile. You are such a loser!"
One morning, I stopped sobbing and smoking long enough to decide to rejoin a site that I once loved being on. That was until she found it and made sure to humiliate me completely until I forced to delete profile. I felt temporarily strong and free. I felt like a phoenix beginning to rise from the charred ashes of yesterday. I joined and became a silent creature in the dark. I kept to myself mostly and just observed. That is because I had to cloak myself in a costume of invisibility: I was just a nobody unworthy of friends, unworthy of happiness. I could just watch them all enjoying what I could never have.
Something happened. They came to me in private, singing a choir of adoration, praising my every word. They wanted me. I felt a little less timid and began to open up to them. Instead of the condemnation and hatred I expected and thought myself deserving, they gave me respite. It began to make me strong. It began to make me want to fight for what I loved.
It was as if the asteroid that had come diving into the earth to wipe out the great dinosaurs of the Triasic had never been. I walked this planet with all the ferocity of my formerly arrogant and elevated self. The person I once loved before I was taught to despise him started to show, only a little at first, just a spark reflected in my eyes that had been empty before. That spark became a star and the star began to rise and shine boldly in the darkness around me.
I had a world where I was free to be me and I found the courage to fight for it. I began a perilous battle with my warden. I called her many bluffs, her threats to call the police, to make up lies, to destroy me and make everyone I loved hate me. I did not give an inch on Christmas Day even, that morning spent awake all night and starving, cramped in the corner of a dusty old room full of boxes hiding in a sleeping bag. Occassionally she would shriek like a banshee and throw things. I would duck and stare her down. My warden would not keep me any longer. Eventually, I began to walk free in the yard and my warden made herself her own prisoner.
And since that day, I have battled every single person who would seek to control or manipulate me. I signed an oath to myself that I would remain strong and free and self-confident until the day I died. My old friends, my warden, my ex-wife, and everyone else could try to beat and threaten and torture me, but I would not go back into the cage. I knew when I was a passenger in the car, watching the old southern lights go on and off, replaced by casino's neon glare that I had overcome. When I arrived at Rowan Oak, the home of the man I once wanted to be, I knew that I was finally free.
"a life’s work in the agony and sweat of the human spirit, not for the glory and least of all for profit…”
UPDATED: I want more competition than one. The one entry I have is awesome and Broken Shield get's special consideration for making the deadline!
I know nothing can really be this simple, but it's an online social media site - if I want it to be simple, than so mote it be:
DEADLINE FOR DOGGIE SUBMISSION: 03/17/2014 at RESET
FINALLY: I will make my decision. You will receive a message asking what bling you want for 15 cr.
No announcement will be made.
The losers will realize their cruel fate the next day when I run Happy Hours and probably fling all kinds of insults and throw tantrums and complain how the contest was fixed. That will be that!
There is no consolation prize. There is no thanks for trying. You just suck it up and try again next time I do something as delusional as this!
In addition, you will also receive bragging rights against all other FUs when your immaculate work of art is displayed in the Happy Hour box.
HINTS:
- Needs to Grab Attention. Grab 'em by the balls!
- Should include my big fat kisser somewhere
- Will be used to get zombie like masses to pay attention to me!
- I would like some kind of Animation
- Words are cool.
- You want something an IT Dork with a Mean Conservative Libertarian Streak and a Vicious Punk Rock Background and a big smug Elitist Brain Monster would LOVE.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Look out, CNN's love affair with my personal political hero has just begun!
http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/12/opinion/paul-stop-the-nsa/
Note: Also, for those who may have had the unfortunate experience of reading propaganda, ie, mainstream outlets with blind allegiance to the Government's interests, pravda media has had to recant and admit they are irresponsible journalists once again:
Fact; There is no copyright on legal briefs or drafts and lawyers copy freely from other lawyers' documents permision or attribution. This is not plagarism.
Fact: A client who has paid owns their lawyer's work product
Fact: A client can discharge a lawyer at any time or decide client wants another lawyer to act as lead counsel. Any lawyer hired by the client has access to the prior lawyer's work product because the client owns the work product. .Doesn't anyone do fact checking at the News anymore?
Fact; Bruce Fein says he was paid for his work on Paul's lawsuit.
End of story.
MSNBC has printed a correction. The News should do so too. See http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/rand-paul-didnt-plagiarize-his-nsa-lawsuit
Dylan Thomas, “The Force That through the Green Fuse Drives the Flower” from The Poems of Dylan Thomas.Used by permission of David Higham Associates, London as agents for the Trustees of the Copyrights of Dylan Thomas.
Title: The Moth Prince
as an heir of impertinence
standing in heritage to the throne
i lie across the earth
the celestial chorus of crickets
insectile hymn vibrates through me
it smells like fresh morning dew
as the truckers carry on through the night
rain mops me up in a flood of scorn
pain courses through every limb
as I try to propel my moth-wings in the wind
rain beating down like a judicial mallet
I struggle forward with my antennae buzzing
into the shadow where the unconcious lay
"...these happy days are yours and mine..."
and yet i'm utterly alone
here in the fen with the crickets prowling
I haven't met anyone I could really trust or put my faith in, in so long, that it terrifies me. The idea is foreign to me now. I have grown into a person who is paranoid of everyone and everything. I covered it up with cynicism. I am in this shell where no one can touch me and I can touch no one else.
Then YOU come along, bringing the miraclous into my life. I am cautious and unwilling to take your hand. I am always easily led by romantic notions. When I am with you, I feel like I have nothing to fear. I want to reach out to you and let you pull me out of the ocean. If only you could be that new rising sun.
One of my friends remarked on how I only date insane women and it made me think of this song:
Lyrics to 88 Lines About 44 Women :
When you're fighting a losing battle, it's time to surrender:
I already feel better (or atleast, my brain is telling me I feel better.)
