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Carnie's blog: "Life"

created on 12/19/2006  |  http://fubar.com/life/b35951
If I seem a little distant, or distracted... If I seem like I'm depressed and sad... 1 of my son's is in a 2-6 month psychiatric placement. Yes it's best for him right now. I tell myself that everyday, it doesn't make it any easier to see him struggle through life... My fianances will will be strapped but if it's best it's best... He doesn't like being there any more than I like having to do the tough love thing. In so many ways I feel guilty, yet in reality I shouldn't it's all part of the disorders that he has... I wanna cry everytime I go see him, I just want to bring him home and tell him it will be ok... but right now he needs to be where he is, learning coping skills and how to manage his meds without me. For his future, I'd much rather see him in 6 months of treatment than a lifetime in prison for something he didn't know how to cope with. So just bear with me through the tough times and know that my smile is a little reluctant right now... I don't need people making demands on me or trying to tell me what to do, because I'm already doing 1 of the hardest things I've had to do in my life...
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