There are so many reasons to write this episode of RANT TIME! that I don't even know where to start. So I'm just going to jump straight into it...lets ROC!
RANT TIME! Episode 5: MILKING THE FRANCHISE!!!
How many of you fuckers remember...MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS?? Why the hell did they need to continue it after the first season? It was great (and corny as hell) but great...especially when you are a 9 year old living in Chicago. BUT WHY IS IT NECESSARY TO TAKE SOMETHING COOL AND DESTROY IT?! Ninja Turtles, He-Man, Final Fantasy VII... DAMNIT!
OK NINJA TURTLES IS AWESOME, WE ALL KNOW THAT. But why the hell did they feel a need to remake the cartoon series? I know the remake of Ninja Turtles is loosely based on the comic book but WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT?! It was great back in the 90's and late 80's. Same with He-Man....WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON WITH THAT...granted I don't remember much of the original He-man (I was a wee-little He-Man when it was on TV) but WHAT THE FUCK! They remade He-Man into some kind of fucking Sci-Fi/Fantasy show. He-Man is about a FUCKING barbarian type prince named Adam who beats up Skeletor. They turned Skeletor into a bad ass that constantly kicks He-Mans ass, so he man needs his super transforming tank buddies to help his ass out...WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT? WHY TAKE SOMETHING GREAT AND DESTROY IT!
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FINAL FANTASY VII (7 for those are to stupid to understand Roman numerals)! I personally enjoyed Final Fantasy VII very much. I love Squaresoft (now Square-Enix) very much, I can honestly say I have never played a bad title by Squaresoft. It is one of my favorite companies...but damn, why do they keep pumping out these sequels and prequels to a game that is just great on its own. Yeah Advent Children is cool to watch...but it WASN'T necessary. And Dirge of Cerberus...its like they took the world of Final Fantasy VII and its characters and made a shooter game loosely based around Vincent Valentine (if you haven't played Final Fantasy VII or don't know who Vincent is...please go kill yourself...or buy a 10 dollar copy of the game...:-D). I mean Dirge is GREAT as a shooter...but thats about it in my opinion. Anyways...I can't wait for FFXII (again those who cant read Roman numerals...12...and if you cant figure it out...ugh its FF = Final Fantasy)...lets move on shall we?
X-Men...X-MEN....THEY DESTROYED X-MEN 3 (the movie). I hear it's cool, and a great movie for a watch, but if your a comic fan or know anything about the ART OF COMICKING (what I mean by art is writing and understanding...ART ISN'T JUST PRETTY PICTURES...ITS AN EXPRESSION OF ONE PERSONS SELF!) X-Men 3 was bad for a couple reasons, they killed of Cyclops (boo hoo if you didn't see the movie, he dies in the comics too) JUGGERNAUT IS NOT A MUTANT IN THE COMICS...HE GETS HIS POWERS FROM A MAGICAL GEMSTONE and PHOENIX'S POWERS ARE DUMBED DOWN. Another note about X-Men, the 90's cartoon was GREAT, why the FUCK DID THEY HAVE TO REMAKE and X-MEN cartoon called X-Men evolution...another reason to milk the franchise I suppose.
::Thinking to himself..."lets see I've covered He-man, TMNT, FFVII, X-men, Power Rangers"::
AH HA! XENOGEARS! Why THE FUCK did Monolith feel it was necessary to make a prequel (Xenosaga episode 1-3 so far) to Xenogears (the best RPG I played on PS1)??? Xenogears is the most engrossing and deep story I have ever played on a console....full of love, betrayal, war, racism (more of a genocide thing due to a fucked up in the head dude named Krelian...who by the way is LAME (thanks Randy :-D) and a whole other MISH MOSH of great characters), hate, understanding one self, trust and friendship, death, life....etc...JUST FUCKING PLAY IT. Anyways, Xenogears is one of the best RPG's I have played in my entire life. And I think Xenosaga is beautiful and the battle system is great...but without it being produced by Squaresoft...Monolith can only really make their own characters that have no relation to the ones in Xenogears (even though Xenosaga takes place like 11000 years earlier). In otherwords, NO Square-Enix means NO use of the copyrighted names used in Xenogears or artistic reference).
Anyways, I hate that they milk franchises like this...and I'm sure other people do too. Something great was put out first, then companies and people make this crap that is supposedly going to ENHANCE THE EXPERIENCE of the original. Whatever...
PEACE!
P.S. STOP MAKING DDR. THERE IS NO MORE MUSIC TO PUT ONTO THOSE DAMN GAMES!! The LAST good DDR was DDR Mario Mix. ALL THOSE OTHER DDR GAMES before DDR Extreme and Extreme 2 are awesome.
P.S. What do you feel is milking a franchise that I haven't mentioned we'll TELL ME please :)
Alright...I've gotten a few more franchises that need to be bitched at...so I begin once again...
TRANSFORMERS, ROBOTS IN DISGUISE! More like ROBOTS THAT DISGUST. What the fuck happened from the 80's Transformers to the NEW Transformers. Transformers Armada? Why the fuck does Optimus Prime need a POWER UP module (I forget the name of the stupid mini robots) TO WHOOP THE SHIT OUT OF MEGATRON?! What happened at the end of each episode where Megatron gets his ass handed to him by the Autobots?! Now its like...LETS DRAG THE SERIES OUT, LET MEGATRON BE SUPER AWESOME FOR A WHILE AND AT THE END OF THE SERIES...WE CAN HAVE OPTIMUS PRIME AND THE AUTOBOTS WHOOP THE SHIT OUT OF THE DECEPTICONS! FUCK THAT! Another series ruined for the sake of our new generation of kids... WHY THE FUCK NOT RE-RELEASE the ORIGINAL TRANSFORMERS ON TV (I mean its cool that they released it on DVD...BUT THAT IS NOT ENOUGH...THESE LITTLE KIDS ARE GOING AROUND SPOUTING REFERENCES ABOUT CRAP THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST...if you can't tell I loved the original Transformers...and I hate seeing something GREAT get decimated like a penis in a paper shredder...er I mean paper.
G.I. Joe... Tsk tsk...G.I. Joe Sigma six...another great series...that became ANIME. G.I. Joe the classic was great because of the corny ass dialogue and the crazy terrorist leader, Cobra. DON'T FUCK WITH G.I. Joe...JUST DON'T. That is all I have to say about that.
I'd love to rant about Superman, but I don't feel like it, Superman is cool even though Superman 3 and 4 sucked horribly in the 80's. Although they have dumbed him down in the Justice League cartoon...etc.
PEACE! (for the second time!)
