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Mrs Bitch's blog: "random stuff"

created on 05/15/2012  |  http://fubar.com/random-stuff/b348155

i love you

i love you and every raw piece of skin on your body... i love you and every unspoken word you've ever thought, and every inch of flesh that is yours... my love for you is as indefinite as the sea, and as vast as the galaxy which we know so little of... my love for you continues to grow just as the roots of a tree grow beneath the soil... i bask in the warmth of your skin, and drown in the presence of your voice... your laugh is the harmonious sound of joy that makes my skin tingle... the idea of you makes my insides warm, and full of love... you're the constant thoughts that circulate my mind, and in every dream i have, i hope to see you... you are the comfort to my pain, and the brightness to my life... i am a fool for you, and i've fallen into a deep hole of endless love for you...

missing him

Well, that's what we do. We fight. I tell me when you are being an arrogant son of a bitch and you tell me when i am being a pain in the ass - which i am, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two second rebound rate, and you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing...So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with that girl, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I could do it again, if I thought it's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.

Cradled between my tender thighs 
I lift to your mouth. 
The abundance of my wetness greets you 
and your mouth overflows with my warm essence. 
My sweet taste is on your tongue 
and my fragrance delights your senses. 
No gentle lick this visit. 
No bashful cautious approach 
For I wish you to consume me. 

I push against your hungry mouth 
As the tip of your tongue slides up the slippery furrow 
that welcomes you between rows of delicate pink petals. 
I thrust against your generous tongue. 

I show you the power of your desire 
for your oral caress. 
Your exploring tongue lifts the hood 
and finds my smooth firm pearl. 
I squeal in that unique way, 
signaling that you have found my special spot. 
You harden in response. 

Your jaws protests what your open mouth provides 
but you are unrelenting in your gift, 
intent only on my fulfillment. 
You feel my body tense, 
and I are quiet now... 
Concentrating... bearing down. 
Soon now my love, 
ecstasy approaches. 

I push hard and fast against your tongue, 
shameless in using you 
and you are so willingly comply 
until I cry out... 
and in my satisfaction, 
You will find yours, 
But mine will be the greater. 


christmas poem

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

Rules for Dating
Your Mother's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) 
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure 
not picking anything up. 
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer 
at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I 
will remove them. 
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely 
that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of 
your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I 
propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your 
pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do 
not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail 
gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. 
Rule Four: 
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some 
kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. 
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about 
sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require 
from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and 
the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.' 
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine 
with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little 
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I 
will make you cry. 
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour 
goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be 
dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the 
Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like 
changing the oil in my car? 
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: 
• Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. 
• Places where there is darkness. 
• Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. 
• Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear 
shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose 
down parka - zipped up to her throat. 
• Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature 
chain saws are okay. 
• Hockey games are okay. Old folks’ homes are better. 
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a slow, potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted hasbeen. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your 
universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the 
truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind 
the house. Do not trifle with me. 
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the 
driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts 
acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my 
daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in 
plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my 
daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. 
The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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