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What are you waiting for?
i wish i didnt censor myself at times like this. i've typed so much but keep deleting it.
its not the right time....
too risky, too much. i dont know where we stand, sometimes i wonder if we even stand at all.
i feel you in my life, my heart. sometimes i wonder if i'm setting myself up for a fall.
i've been shut down so long.. in the past that haunts me, i see you by my side
you bring out the joy in me, for the first time in forever, i feel alive.
i lose myself in your eyes, i get drunk on your kiss...
you're too good to be true...is love supposed to be like this?
the late night talks about everything, the music that has no end....
the early mornings, the hangovers and wanting to do it all over again.
the i love you's, pics, the texts, calls and yes the rings,
the good morning baby, the cuddles and all the smiles you bring.
the sparkle in your eye when we hear that one damn song,
how i want to love you, forever, my whole life long.
it might just be today, this minute, these few moments with you.
but i know and hold tight forever, these memories of me and you.
Most days i think my life is pretty gravy. I have a nice place in the country, i have lights, water, i never go hungry and i spend most nights piled up with my furbabies. Then there is that jerk side of me that wonders why i don't go out anymore, why i never had kids, why do i never get hit on at the store anymore? LOL guess it comes with getting older and i can resign myself to it. better alone than in a relationship with someone that wants everyone else, i can live with that i guess, i refuse to play 2nd to anyone again. wish ida figured that out a long time ago. i should count my blessings cause i really am fortunate to be this strong and independent. maybe one day i will find that one guy thats gonna prove to me he's dif and all others are wrong. we shall see. i dont think they really exist anymore. most of the ones here and in RL are friends to your face and friends to everything else in a skirt lol. maybe they cant handle me and my openness to just either be honest or fk off. i miss having someone to hold me, a warm body and someone to say gnite to, is it so hard to get the whole package? someone that wants to be with me, someone that wants to wake to me every morning and will be faithful? i won't settle for less so i guess i will be destined to stay this way. it's better to be lyin lonely than laying with a liar.
.
people look for love in many forms and many places...happiness most times will elude you til it runs you mad. my friends are my happiness and seeing their love for others and life and the things that make them happy are my happiness as well. life can make you question yourself and feel like you are unlovable. its a natural process, just dont let anyone or anything decide your happiness or love...be true to yourself and love you, spend time serving others less fortunate and you will find love and happiness. xoxoxo
I HEAR ALOT OF PPL TALK ABOUT HOW LAME FUBAR HAS BECOME AND HOW ITS ALL ABOUT LEVELS AND POINTS....I FOR ONE AM NOT STAYING ON FUBAR BECAUSE OF POPULARITY GAMES OR HOW MUCH CRAP I CAN ACCUMULATE, LOL.... THE REASON I STAY IS FOR THE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE BECOME CLOSE TO OVER THE LAST 3 YEARS AND THE ONES THAT WITHOUT THEM, I WOULD BE LOST AND WOULD MISS THEM TERRIBLY. FUNNY HOW FATE THROWS PPL TOGETHER IN A COMPLETELY RANDOM PLACE AND THESE PEOPLE BECOME PPL THAT KNOW YOU AND WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THEY HAVE A PLACE IN YOUR HEART AND BECOME FAMILY TO YOU. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THERE ARE STILL A FEW GENUINE PPL IN THE WORLD AND I HAVE HAD THE HONOR AND PRIVILEGE OF MEETING THEM AND BECOMING A FRIEND TO THEM TOO. JUST WANTED TO LET THOSE PPL KNOW THAT THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING AND I CHERISH THE MEMORIES OF THE NIGHTS WE STAYED UP TIL DAWN, LAUGHING, JOKING AND ACTING CRAZY. I LOVE YA'LL AND WISH YA'LL NOTHING BUT THE BEST OUTTA LIFE, OUTTA LOVE AND HOPE YA ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. (H) XOXO
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