Random joking things Blog by Dreadedmind
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(x) been dumped ( ) been fired (x) been in a fist fight (x) snuck out of my parent's house (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (x) been arrested (not really) (x) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend (x) had a crush on a teacher (x) skipped school ( ) slept with a co-worker ( ) seen someone die (x) been to Canada (X) been to Mexico (X) been on a plane ( ) thrown up in a bar (x) set a part of myself on fire not intentionally (x) eaten sushi (x) been moshing/crowd surfing at a show (x) love someone or miss someone right now (x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (x) made a snow angel ( ) had a tea party (x) flown a kite (x) built a sand castle (x) try going threw puddles on a bike (x) gone puddle jumping ( ) played dress up (x) jumped into a pile of leaves (x) gone sledding (x) cheated while playing a game (x) been lonely (x) fallen asleep at school ( ) used a fake id (x) watched the sun set (x) felt an earthquake (x) touched a snake (x) been tickled (x) been robbed (x) been misunderstood (x) pet a reindeer/goat (x) won a contest (x) ran a red light ( ) been suspended from school ( ) been in a car accident ( ) had braces (x) felt like an outcast (x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (x) had deja vu (x) danced in the moonlight (x) hated the way you look (x) witnessed a crime (x) questioned your heart (x) been obsessed with post-it notes (x) squished barefoot through the mud (x) been lost (x) been to the opposite side of the country (x) swam in the ocean (x) felt like dying (x) cried yourself to sleep (x) played cops and robbers (x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (x) sung karaoke (x) paid for a meal with only coins (x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (x) made prank phone calls (x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (x) caught a snowflake on your tongue (x) danced in the rain (x) written a letter to Santa Claus (x) been kissed under a mistletoe (x) watched the sun set with someone you care about (x) blown bubbles (x) made a bonfire on the beach (x) crashed a party (x) gone rollerskating (x) had a wish come true ( ) worn pearls (x) jumped off a bridge (x) ate dog/cat food (x) told a complete stranger you loved them (x) kissed a mirror (x) sang in the shower ( ) have a black dress (x) had a dream that you married someone (x) glued your hand to something (x) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole (X) kissed a fish (x) worn the opposite sexes clothes (x) been a cheerleader (x) sat on a roof top (x) screamed at the top of your lungs (x) done a one-handed cartwheel (x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours - Why not just go see the person? (x) stayed up all night ( ) didn't take a shower for a week (x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree (x) climbed a tree (x) had a tree house/club house ( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone (x) believe in ghosts ( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes (x) worn a really ugly outfit to school (x) gone streaking (x) played ding-dong-ditch (x) played chicken (x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on (x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger (x) caught a fish then ate it (x) French braided someone's hair ( ) Told someone you would call but didn't plan to (x) Borrowed someone's clothes (x) Had dirty thoughts about someone you know ( ) Cheated on a bf/gf (x) A bf/gf cheated on you (x) mooned/flashed someone (x) had someone moon/flash you > (x) cheated on a test/quiz ( ) have a Britney Spears CD (x) forgotten someone's name (x) caught a butterfly (x) laughed so hard you cried (x) cried so hard you laughed (x) slept naked (x) Finished this quiz
1) Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts 2)Set all of the alarm clocks in Housewares for 5 minute intervals 3)Leave a trail of tomato juice on the way to the restroom 4)Walk up to an employee, in an official tone say "Code 3 in housewares" and see what happens 5) Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away 6) Move a 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area 7) Set up a tent in the camping department and tell the other shoppers that you'll invite them in if they bring you pillows from the bedding department 8) When a clerk asks if they can help you cry and say "Why can't you just leave me alone?!?" 9) Look into a security camera;act like its mirror and pick your nose 10) While handling guns in the gun department, ask the the clerk if he knows where the anti-deppresants are 11) Dart around the store suspicously humming loudly the ' Mission Impossible' theme song 12)In the auto department, practice your 'Madonna look' using different sized funnels 13) Hide in a clothing rack and when people browze through, yell "PICK ME PICK ME!!!" 14) When an announcment comes over the intercom, assume the fetal possition and scream "NO NO it's those voices again!!" 15) Go into a fitting room and wait a while; then yell very loudly, "HEY theres no toilet paper in here!!!"
Bevis or Butthead? Bevis Michael Jackson or Usher? Michael Jackson Megadeth or Metallica? Megadeth Bananaman or a Monkey? Bananaman (Always) Snoop Dogg or Tupac? Tupac Jay or Silent Bob? Jay Michael Jordan or Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Condom or Pill? Pill Tacos or Nachos? Nachos Puppies or Kitties? Kitties Black or Blue? Blue Poison or Virus? Virus Kids or Siblings? Kids Ninja or Samurai? Ninja Blood or Wine? Wine PBNJ or Turkey? PBNJ Sammich or Sandwich? Sammich These are my Thoughts.


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading and invading America......Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore .... HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN." 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE." 3. She is not "EASY" - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE." 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY." 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION." 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED." 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED" 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED." 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE." 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED." 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR." 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?: 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS." 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION." 5. He is not a Cradle Robber He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS." 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL." 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He developed a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION." 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY." 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED." 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED." 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It is "REAR CLEAVAGE."
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