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Just got back from the Cayman Islands! OMG it was great. Cant wait to go back next time! If you get a chance to go swimming and being with the string rays is a must do! It was so wild ot get to hold and pet them standing on a sand bar in the middle of no where! Looking back at the photos it almost looks like swimming pool water- but it wasnt! Check out the photos!

What scares me....

Well for those of you who have noticed an absence- mid terms are just now over and I am still working four days a week. Two eight hour day shifts on Tuesday and Thursday, and two 12.5 hour shifts on Friday and Saturday nights. Being in the hospital and interacting with patients has made me think a lot. I have seen babies who are born weeks early the youngest being born at 21 weeks. I have seen patients who are in their last days of varying ages. I have been bedside giving treatments and medication to people on the last day of their lives. I have realized that so much of my life I have spend worrying about dying. I have worried that I will have a heart attack, or maybe a fatal car accident. Now I know that it was wrong to fear those things- No I am still afraid of dying- but now I see that those are merciful deaths compared to the many ways we can go. I realized that kidney failure or liver failure terrify me. Watching the patients day in and day out- slowing jaundicing. Hearing their futile pleas for water, knowing some are permitted less than a cup of liquid a day. It tears me up inside to look in their eyes- to see eyes looking back that appear to be painted highlighter yellow. Knowing that I will get thirsty later in my shift, put my 1.25 in the machine and drink a soda- yet they no longer have that luxury. I am also terrified of diabetes. I have started watching what I eat. Trying to take better care of myself. Within a week of being in the hospital I saw how vicious diabetes can be. Seeing a patient come in with necrosis. Watching them have toes, half a foot, a calf or a leg removed. The black sores that develop on their bodies. The decresed immune response. How a simple cut on your foot can cause you to lose your entire leg. How they do not seem to heal. I can not imagine watching my body slowly cut away- losing it bit by bit. Those people are stronger than me. Watching families arguing over the dying- fighting over the petty things instead of spending those last moments with a loved one. Watching those who are placed on vents, to prolong the inevitable. Some things can not yet be cured, yet life support is used anyway. Ventilators are to be used to buy time, to provide rest- but are not cures in themselves. I am for life support- but only when used responsibly. I have seen life support saved lots of lives- esp neonates. On that note- I am thinking of being NPS- Neonatal Pediatric Specialized. I love working with kids. While it is saddening- how great it is to see a child survive? To know that your part will affect the life of a person for the rest of their life. Ok. Enuf randomness- Just had to get that out. Time for bed. If ur bored- why dont ya rate my pics or my profile!!

going to scream

ugh. i have no life. i did a 12 hour clinical shift, work 9 hours tomorrow, and school all day friday and work all friday night and sat night. plus i have homework due monday for midterms going to scream or have a breakdown wish me the best- catching up on homework
Ok. We are getting married June 16. We were planning a wedding outside at a private area with a pond and nice lawn etc. We have to have a rain back up. We went to the conference center today and got a really good price. So now we are thinking of just going ahead and doing the wedding at the conference center because the price includes all the set up, clean up, etc. So now we are thinking of having the wedding inside because it gives everyone a place to dress etc and we are safe if there is rain. Now for the reception. If we could guarantee great weather things would be diff. We would love to have it outside and let everyone enjoy a cookout and games dancing etc. But if it rains we are screwed. If we have the reception at the convention center we have to use a caterer. However you spell it. So we can do everything at the convention center and miss out on using this space outside that is really pretty and was free for fear of rain. Or we can have our wedding there and the reception outside. But if it we don’t book the food via the conference center and it starts raining mid wedding we are screwed!! UGH. Just really confused about what to do. My parents are super supportive of whatever i want- but his have yet to be ok with anything that wasnt their idea. They love the idea of us getting married they just want to plan the wedding of their dreams which is a nightmare to me. Their idea involes inflatable palm trees, and hawaiian print table clothes. Ugh if i wanted a beach wedding I would be getting married on the beach not having a cheezy hawaiian wedding. This has sucked. At least we are going to the cayman’s for the honeymoon!
Ugh. Ok so for those of you who have been wondering where I have been – things have been a bit crazy for me. Monday I have class all day, Tuesday I work as a tutor all day, Wednesdays I have clinicals all day, Thursday I tutor all day, Friday are fun day because I go to class all day get home take a quick nap and have to be at work at the hospital by 7pm and don’t get off work til 7:30am Saturday so its like a 26hour day lol. Then Saturday I work from 7pm til 7:30am on Sunday morning. Sundays are my free day… well if you count I need to sleep and do homework and study for class the next day. Lol. So basically I never have a day to myself anymore. My next day off will be Feb 19th because I don’t have school for Presidents day! I cant wait. Hell my fiancée has even been bitching about missing me and missing going out on dates because we don’t get to spend a lot of time together now. When school lets out it will be better and then we are getting married lol.
Very Very excited. We are going to the Cayman Islands for our honeymoon. We booked on 7 Mile Island. Made sure to get a hotel on the beach. Leaving June 20th so counting down the days lol. Now just looking up various tours etc so we can do something other than lay on those beautiful beaches for a week... lol Any suggestions??

Work

WOW. ok Started work. lol- what was supposed to be just here and there has been full time since I started. Then got the stomach flu and had to leave work early one day- spend two days in bed with it. Feeling better now. Missed chatting with all my CT friends... so stop and say hi... or hit me up on yahoo if you have it!! Cooking dinner right now... so have to cut this short. =)
So take the test.. its only 6 questions.. see how well you know me =)
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happy holidays

Hey! Just wanted to wish all my friends a great christmas!! Went to my parents tonight. Tomorrow going to my fiances parents for christmas. Hope everyone has a safe holiday weekend.... I am so excited I dont have to go back to work til WEDNESDAY!! you have no idea how great it is to have two whole days of freedome. Yippe.. on another note i start work this weekend. so happy new years to me lol....
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