Seli FuEngaged to Tigerrr's blog: "Ramblings of a twisted mind"

Has there ever been a lifetime ...when we didn't instantly recognize one another? ...when one or the other of us didn't wonder if THIS time we would get it right? ...when we didn't HOPE that our children would be siblings instead of friends? ...when we didn't reach the heights of ecstasy and the depths of despair? ...when we didn't get our timing wrong? ...when we weren't both left hurting? Will there ever be a lifetime ...when we don't instantly recognize one another? ...when we don't wonder if THIS will be the right lifetime? ...when our children are siblings in addition to being friends? ...when the heights of ecstasy and the depths of despair are just normal hills and valleys in our relationship? ...when we get our timing right? ...when we are free to love one another openly? Someday... There has to be a lifetime for us.

The other day a friend took his daughter to the museum only to discover that it was closed because of labor day. So there he stands, on the steps of the museum with his daughter crying because she can't see the dinosaurs. So what does he do? The universal cure for the world's ills when you are a 5 year old... He took her out for ice cream. He was telling me about how "easy" it is to cure the world's ills because "everyone knows" that ice cream fixes everything and I replied that ice cream only works when you are little... by the time you get to being a teenager it takes more than ice cream to cure the problems of the world. He wanted to know what "works" when they are teenagers... especially girls. Being a smart ass I replied "Ball gags, whips, chains, chastity belts, handcuffs, etc... " This morning there's a shopping list in my email that has me howling with laughter. We are talking my sides were aching and I had tears running down my face. EVERY father of a little girl will understand... Making a shopping list: Handcuffs ...... Hmmmmmmmmmmm ......... I can use these until she gets to be a teenager ....... Chastity belt .. lol I wanna get a hold of the little twit that tries ..... 25 years is not that long .. Gags ........... no comment .. I could but I just feel like I would get in trouble ..More trouble... lol Add-ons to shopping list: Very short leash ........ Oh yes very short ......... Shotgun .......... I do not recommend any little b**tard trying ..... I was a half decent skeet shooter once ... 22/25 is my personal best Ammo ........ 25 in a box .... 12 boxes in a case ... 300 ... 12 cases on a pallet ... 3600 .. I'm ready punks just keep coming in a nice even pace. APM ........... I will take a box of those too ............ APM = Anti Personal Mine Laser Sight ............ just because it's cool ................ sorry I got carried away there ......... lol Do ya think I am safe now .......... lol ........... At that point I sent him back the following... Howling with laughter. Maybe. Of course you DID forget something rather necessary... that would be a way to CLEAN the gun in question since at some point you're GONNA have to clean it. I am rather curious though as to what you are going to do with the bodies that pile up... He responded with the following... It's just a shotgun a pair of old panties and some used WD40 makes the sucker tick forever ........ oh yes the body's addition to shoppig list: front end loader ......... I hate physical work with a passion ........ lol .............. and I cant stand the smell of corpse I can just SEE another version of "Advice to males wanting to date my daughter" coming in the future.

Well Kinda. I was originally going to write a blog containing recipes for foods that contain the word "Sex" in the title. Things such as "Sex on the beach" (I will have to write a post sometime on how to keep sand out of your hoohoo when having sex on the beach but that's a post for another day)"Sex in a pan" and "Better than Sex cake" were on the list of recipes. Then I ran into a snag... You see even with more than 400 cookbooks in the house I don't have a single recipe for "Sex on the Beach". Off to a search engine I go. Once there I type in "sex on the beach" click the enter button and VIOLA... 473 million pages of pictures of people having sex on the beach. That wasn't QUITE what I was looking for... Try this again. Type in "recipe for sex on the beach" and get back significantly fewer responses but nary a one of them is a recipe for the DRINK "Sex on the Beach" Now I must admit that in my search I DID find some interesting products related to sex... There are drawer pulls (and you ain't getting them at Lowes either... I called and asked ) and the blurb with them says "Finally there is a way for the design-minded kinky person to express themselves on their kitchen cabinets and bedroom dresser drawers. Each piece is spin cast of high-quality, lead

Do you remember... The Sadie Hawkins dance? Saturday Morning Serials? Mickey Mouse? Hula Hoops? Where you were when John Kennedy died? The first Man on the Moon? Getting in trouble at the neighbors and getting your butt paddled then going home and getting it paddled again? Kids having at least a few manners? Penny loafers? The Studebaker? Pedal Pushers? Movie theaters being CLOSED on Sunday? Lemonade stands? The "Four foul balls" rule? Captain Kangaroo & Mr. Green Jeans? Zoom? I have decided that I am getting older... My kids look at me sometimes as though they think that I am from Mars. I just laugh at them and tell them that someday they too will get older. Do you remember?