The other day a friend took his daughter to the museum only to discover that it was closed because of labor day. So there he stands, on the steps of the museum with his daughter crying because she can't see the dinosaurs. So what does he do? The universal cure for the world's ills when you are a 5 year old... He took her out for ice cream.
He was telling me about how "easy" it is to cure the world's ills because "everyone knows" that ice cream fixes everything and I replied that ice cream only works when you are little... by the time you get to being a teenager it takes more than ice cream to cure the problems of the world.
He wanted to know what "works" when they are teenagers... especially girls. Being a smart ass I replied "Ball gags, whips, chains, chastity belts, handcuffs, etc... "
This morning there's a shopping list in my email that has me howling with laughter. We are talking my sides were aching and I had tears running down my face. EVERY father of a little girl will understand...
Making a shopping list:
Handcuffs ...... Hmmmmmmmmmmm ......... I can use these until she gets to be a teenager .......
Chastity belt .. lol I wanna get a hold of the little twit that tries ..... 25 years is not that long ..
Gags ........... no comment .. I could but I just feel like I would get in trouble ..More trouble... lol
Add-ons to shopping list:
Very short leash ........ Oh yes very short .........
Shotgun .......... I do not recommend any little b**tard trying ..... I was a half decent skeet shooter once ... 22/25 is my personal best
Ammo ........ 25 in a box .... 12 boxes in a case ... 300 ... 12 cases on a pallet ... 3600 .. I'm ready punks just keep coming in a nice even pace.
APM ........... I will take a box of those too ............ APM = Anti Personal Mine
Laser Sight ............ just because it's cool ................ sorry I got carried away there ......... lol
Do ya think I am safe now .......... lol ...........
At that point I sent him back the following...
Howling with laughter. Maybe. Of course you DID forget something rather necessary... that would be a way to CLEAN the gun in question since at some point you're GONNA have to clean it. I am rather curious though as to what you are going to do with the bodies that pile up...
He responded with the following...
It's just a shotgun a pair of old panties and some used WD40 makes the sucker tick forever ........ oh yes the body's
addition to shoppig list:
front end loader ......... I hate physical work with a passion ........ lol .............. and I cant stand the smell of corpse
I can just SEE another version of "Advice to males wanting to date my daughter" coming in the future.
