My friends and i make up an interesting group of people. we are occasionally "that guy". so we called our little group, "that guy".That guy has there own female ranking scale from 1-10 that people other than us dont quite understand. i am here to break it down, so people can see things from our point of view. here we go.
10(ten)- These creatures do not exist. atleast we are convinced of that. since god decided that guys needed somethin to fuck, he created women, and since this happened a 10 has never been sighted. god has cheated us all by never created one of these fine specimen. with that bein said, none of us will ever fuck a 10. a 10 could consist of perhaps, the body of jessica biel, head of say a jenifer aniston, cooks like martha stewart, the money of oprah, the sluttiness of a paris hilton and the cocksucking abilities of jenna jameson. god has yet to bless mankind with one of these.
9(niner)- although very rare, these creatures do exist. a nine is a wonderful thing to have around. although we may never have a chance with a nine, they are nice to look at. a 9 would be a jessica biel, maria sharapova, or angelina jolie. 9's do not exist in upstate new york, so no man will ever spot one in this area. a 9's vagina could cure cancer. this is what men think about when they are sleeping, thus ending the mystery of morning wood. men think about this when they wake up, eat lunch, go to bed, and even when they are fucking their wives or girlfriends. i give a good pat on the ass and a good game to any man who stuffs a 9. you make us proud.
8(eight)- an 8 is probably the hottest thing you will see at dance clubs or perhaps local bars. hey do roam around and are spotted quite a bit. you will not see an 8 asking you if you would like that supersized or at a run down titty bar. an 8's body is a work of art. an 8 does not shit, their poop holes are merely for show and pleasure. an average dude would have a chance with an 8 if she was shitfaced, or really angry with her boyfriend. you should never cheat on an 8, unless its with another 8. chances are you will never get another 8 after having one, so dont fuck it up. an 8 is a keeper, a girl you would want to sit on yur face, so you can eat yur way to her heart.
7(seven)- a 7 is a fantastic catch. takin a drunk 7 home from the bar will get a good job from yur friends the next morning. there are more 7's than 8's, but 7's are still quite rare. there may be 3 or 4 at most running around the bar or club on a friday night. although not as hot as an 8, a 7 is a beautiful creature. these girls usually roam in a pack of 3. they know they are hot, so they have a few close friends with them at all times to make sure they dont get to drunk and start making out with a loser. a 7 is to be fucked rough, extremely rough. love making should not even be in a man's dictionary. a 7 is the type you might keep around also, because people see you with a 7 they will be jealous. a 7 is definately girlfriend material.
6(six)- you may be telling yurself now, well we are at 6, thats getting pretty low. think again, this scale is very demanding. a 6 a hottie as well. not amazing, but the average"hot" girl in the bar is only a 6. she may be no supermodel, but she is not ugly by no means. dragging a 6 home from the bar will get you props. a group of 5's or 6's usually hang out with a 3, not because the 3 has a great personality, but to make themselves feel better about themselves. a 6 is girlfriend material indeed. usually has a good body and a "cute" face. a 6 knows she is not a 7 or higher, so this creature may wear alot of makeup. so beware gents, she may not be so cute in the morning, thats if you dont kick her out of yur backseat when yur done with her.
5(five)- these little hookers are a dime a dozen. by no means ugly, but not somethin you will be tellin yur friends about months later. 4's and 5's make up about 75% of the bar's female population. so they are all over. you can even go as far as calling a 5 a "cute girl next door type". 5's vary from slutty to conservative. they know they are not ugly, but may have confidence issues when they see all the guys starin at the 7's and 8's. the 5's may also be the psycho type, blowin up yur voicemail and yur myspace inbox. however, they can be sweet also, and no man should ever be ashamed to take a 5 to their parents house.
4(four)- this creature is nothing special. the 4 is the one you send a drunken text message to at 2am when the bar is closing and all yur buddies already snatched up the 6's. you dont really want to be seen in public places with the 4, but they are good to have a once or twice a week easy booty call. you hate talking to her, you dont care about her day. the good lord put her on this world for the sole reason of being an easy last resort human happy sock for drunken guys everywhere.
3(three)- well, we've all had them. sometimes with a 3, just puttin her face down while you are pounding away is not enough. lights need to be out with a 3. 3's get laid because a drunk guy gets dared by his buddies to fuck them. her personality sucks. she may hang out with the 5's or 6's, thats because they 5's and 6's want to feel better about themselves.
2(two)- this unfortunate looking creature looks like her face caught on fire and someone put it out with an axe. these creatures are usually found in mobile home parks and WNBA games. dont get too drunk around her because you may not be able to escape. no guys would let their buddies fuck a 2. its just not right. a night of bumpin ugly's with a 2 will result in you being the butt of all fat chick jokes for the rest of eternity. if you are that sick and have to resort to this, for god sakes, dont let anyone you know find out.
1(one)- i dont think we need to get into much detail about the 1. its the top bottom turd on the shit pile. hitler wouldnt wish a 1 on a jew. thats guy code.
