38953's blog: "QUOTES FROM THE FAMOUS AND NOT SO FAMOUS"

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine? Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow his ass away."

Subject: PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day ... at the end of the year ... we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop! However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering, and fermenting. It is better to drink wine and talk shit ... than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I am doing it as a public service.