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Nobody Knows's blog: "Bdsm Talk"

created on 04/22/2008  |  http://fubar.com/bdsm-talk/b209430

Public Play

Techniques Adding realism to scenarios Many scenarios include the submissive being taken by "force". One fun technique that can make this more fun is to buy cheap clothing from a thrift store that can be torn, sliced, or cut off the submissive. Cheap, disposable clothing can lend a fun air of realism to the scenario. Extended Bondage For people who like bondage, one thing that can be fun is to have the submissive sleep bound. This is most easily done if the submissive's hands and feet are bound together; extended bondage in one position (as, for example, if the submissive were tied to the bed) can become quite uncomfortable. Note that if you do this, you should not leave the submissive in a room alone, and you should bind the submissive in a way which can be released quickly in case the house catches fire ! Extended Penetration With practice, it is possible to train a person's body to accept vaginal and/or anal penetration for extended periods of time. You can, for example, have a submissive wear a dildo vaginally throughout the day, or make a submissive wear an anal plug as he or she does errands or housework. The key is to start small--a dildo or anal plug that seems quite small at first can become too big after a period of time--and not push the submissive if it becomes painful. Patience is essential. What this does is makes it impossible for the submissive to ignore the penetration, whatever else he or she may be doing. This in turn can keep the submissive constantly thinking about and constantly craving sexual stimulation. I have even made my lovers keep a dildo inserted as they sleep--which tends to make the night filled with nonstop erotic dreams... Of course, this can be adapted easily for male submissives as well, by having them sleep with a butt plug inserted. Orgasm Denial This is a fun, and frustrating, technique that can bring some of the spark back into sex. There are a hundred variations, but the basic idea is simple: prevent your partner from having an orgasm for a length of time (a day, two days, a week, whatever you want). You shouldn't make it easy; you can, for example, require that your partner have sex one or more times a day, or masturbate regularly (this works well when combined with a ritual of some sort), but your partner is not allowed any sexual release. Over time, the sexual tension builds up, and your partner becomes perpetually aroused. When done over a period of several days or longer, this technique creates a very powerful level of sexual excitement. When you do finally allow your partner release, it's an extremely intense experience. Sensory Deprivation Tactile senses are enhanced when other senses are taken away. One way to make any experience much more intense is to tie down your partner, then blindfold your partner and also prevent your partner from hearing. The blindfold is easy; preventing someone from being able to hear is a bit more difficult, but there are many ways to accomplish this. The most straightforward is to use a pair of common earplugs (the kind made of soft wax that seals over the ear works well), earmuffs, or both. Some BDSM shops make special hoods called "ball hoods" which are designed to cover the eyes and ears; they're expensive (and psychologically intimidating) but work well. For a more high-tech approach, you can use a pair of headphones--the kind that fit entirely over the ear--connected to something that produces static, like a TV with no signal (or even a tape recording of static). In any event, a partner who cannot see or hear will tend to feel other things much more intensely, so combining bondage and sensory deprivation with other ideas on this page works very well. Human Sex Doll This is a good way to explore your partner and get your feet wet in D/s. The premise is simple: the submissive partner is a living sex toy, and allows the dominant to put him or her into any position and take any action, and the submissive partner remains completely passive throughout. The submissive partner simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him or her into, and does not take an active role in any way whatsoever as the dominant explores the submissive. A variant on this idea involves tying the submissive securely in a sexually available position, and alternately exploring the submissive's body in humiliating and/or painful ways--for example, by probing the submissive's orifices with dildoes or other toys, clamping the submissive's nipples, and so on--and having sex with the submissive, during which time the submissive is forbidden to make any sound or respond in any way whatsoever. Failure to remain completely passive earns a punishment. Enforced Availability This works best with a female submissive, and is especially good for those of you with an objectification fetish. Choose a specific period of time, such as one particular day, when your partner is required to be available for sex at all times, regardless of her state of arousal. During this time, she is required to do whatever is necessary to keep herself ready for sexual penetration or intercourse. Periodically throughout the day, you should take advantage of her availability by taking her sexually, without warning and regardless of what she's doing at the time. Keeping herself available and well-lubricated is part of her responsibility; she should be ready for you constantly, at any time. Eroticising everyday activities There are a number of ways you can integrate D/s into things that normally don't have any connection with sex, eroticising them. For example, you might go into a pet store and have your submissive try on various collars right there in the store, then buy the one that looks the best. Or, you might send the submissive partner into a grocery store to buy innocuous things which suggest a sexual context--such as a cucumber and a box of condoms. This creates a psychological effect where the submissive is convinced that everybody knows exactly what's going on (and he or she may be right...). Sensation play This is a technique suited for anyone with a very sensual approach to sexual exploration. The idea is very simple; start by blindfolding your lover (and tying him or her down, if that sounds like fun to you), then subjecting him or her to a wide variety of different sensations. For example, you may stroke your lover'sbody with ice, or drip hot wax on his or her body, or caress your lover's skin with soft fur, coarse sandpaper, and other textures. A bit more intensity can be had by using a dull butter knife you've kept in the freezer for a few hours (the cold edge of a dull knife can feel very sharp!). Public play There are many techniques involving D/s in a public space, particularly where feelings of vulnerability are created. Send your partner to work wearing a piece of very sexy lingerie under her clothing (or, if the submissive is male, wearing a pair of women's underwear); this makes a constant, discreet reminder of his or her position. Or, if you're feeling a bit more risqué: A rope harness can be made with thin twine or cord. Tie the harness around your partner's torso (easy-to-follow instructions for tying a basic rope harness are available here), and then have your partner wear the harness to work or while running errands, beneath his or her clothing. As the person moves, the harness shifts and moves against his or her body, constantly reminding the submissive that it is there. Take your partner out to a very ritzy dinner at an upscale restaurant. Midway through dinner, quietly slip your partner some sort of sex toy. Order your partner to go to the restroom, go into a stall, strip naked, and masturbate to orgasm. As a particularly evil twist, you can order your partner to return to the table still wearing the toy. Doing something like this is a very effective way of creating a delightful sense of vulnerability. Another idea: If the submissive is female, have her do something like go out to a convenience store late at night wearing a skimpy nighty. This creates an even greater sense of vulnerability. Note: If you experiment with this, it might be a good idea for safety's sake to accompany the submissive, to keep an eye on her...
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