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Lost Conversations

huitzil, sparks of green. gold. blue. hummingbird streaks, zig zag after thoughts and whispers of complex navigation, complex conversation and modern gods. The Aztecs thought them warriors so different from our steroidal vision of swollen power and butch whimsy. They saw delicate sword, they saw the vision dance of practiced warriors, the hovering lightening and the thrushed humm, declaration of home when war was still painted and sung Our eyes deceive the complexity of stillness The majesty of blooms holding court and giving their blood to be lapped up and levitated -- sugar fire carrying soul after soul Deliverance and destruction under the roasting, rusted sun of our East Los backyard my father stands, lapping nectar from the air, from the blooms looking for the fire that traced the steps of his mothers and grandfathers watering the barrio garden lifting moisture into the cracking air, misting the wind back into his face and the hummingbird rises., to drink of the same mist. To share in the salvation of unnatural cool To hover in the circle of eternal conversation, Speaking souls, carrying souls, warrior souls. Defiant of air and defiant of fear, huitzil smiles on father, on grandfather and says in gemmed tones of red, blue and green your tired legs are now blessed, your calloused hands have touched the face of god, and in whispers of now, of present eternities of tomorrows, somehow he dries the tears of relentless yesterdays, and the hummingbird flicks its tongue into the cool stream from just another green plastic hose Santa Ana winds exhale hot through our urban balcony, flowering hopes. years since father's ashes floated away in the San Pedro current here, the huitzil tastes the hibiscus placed here just for him He smiles, as communion is given. The host is his body a body weighed down carrying souls, delivering souls warrior souls The blood is the sweet wine of life fed by upwardly mobile pocho Brita nectar served in the name of the father and of the son. this collidescope ghost continues a lost conversation, never betraying the burden of southwest ancestors on its feathered tips A warrior of souls ever rising to the hopes of the lost and wounded. Wings tempered by sugar fire, sunlight and death to lift the conversation for one more generation dipping its sharpened beak right into my heart and I pray that it feeds long and deep and leaves me hollow. hollow enough to blow away, ride the wind's whimsy and continue lost conversations. chest open, bleeding heart like Aztec stigmata showing the way In the name of the father and the sun, and the hollow ghost Deliver me from suburban malaise on the wings of weightless gemmed warriors of the sky, deliver me to the holy land of endless orange groves now and at the hour of our debt. Namaste. Blessed Huitzil Blessed soul carrier smile upon the wet concrete yesterday again.

Cryptic Dreams

Don’t know how it is I cant decide how much I hate you. Should be simple How you threw me away Not even staggered step Just goodbyes and excuses But my bloody whole seeking that hollow where you used to be and hating myself for looking there night after night, knowing I would just end up clawing Bruised flesh again and again And yet, I push that stone heart Up this hill one last time Again and again, Turning my back on the memories Turning my back on the fear Afraid of life without this pain As much as I dread it never going away and your echo is defiant rippled scars in the dark seeking me out, landing on my flesh and I can’t out run, your noise, your wretched static drowning out the peace shadowed out the light sucking the air from my lungs in desperate tremorred screams. And life after your pain is a dull thud, a dead limb phantom footsteps in my day trying to forget the dance. Spins in agony and delicious dips in dread and deceit none of it worth the brush of your hand on my cheek and the trail of blood it leaves in abstract blushing pools I will have to lick clean In salted sanguine penance For my childish wish To taste the kiss of hope on my lips once again. DP~ 6/12/07

Hungry

hungry for time open time dripping sweat with you hungry for time where the air is sucked dry by our laughter together hungry for time where the quiet was sweet and sultry hungry for time skin time scarred, bruised bloodied, surveyed aching seduction hungry for time of long drives and long talks and simple touches hungry for time searching for more lusting for now demanding the pulse testing your flesh
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