I honestly have to say that I dont feel like just because you are dying, you get a hall pass to be a big f*cking pathetic asshole who is completely selfish and self absorbed by the disease and has you completely out of touch with what little bit of life you do have left.
You had the opportunity to spend a wonderful weekend with a fabulous person who wanted nothing more than to get your mind off things, get you away and just spoil you with attention and affection. And you f*cked her over, treated her like she was worthless and consider yourself in the right for doing her this way because of your situation. You consider that you have done no wrong because no one understands what you are going through as they arent dying like you are and you arent really bothering to tell her or anyone maybe, whats really going on. But you want empathy and understanding from others who could not even possibly know whats going on without you sharing.
Youd honestly think that you would want to suck every last fabulous moment from your life in whatever way possible. And if someone was offering to love you even in your "broken" state, you think the last thing in the world you would do was toss her aside like she never ever mattered to you.
Only your meltdown matters. Only your life slipping away from you matters and not how you treat people in the interim.
