Amie's blog: "Pain"

I hate the fact I love you, I hate that I care I hate you for not knowing this, I hate it you not there. I mostly hate our memories, That make me cry each night I hate how all these come about, Each time you are in sight I hate how when I see you, My heart just breaks in two And yet with all the pieces, I know i'll always love you I hate how life goes on, When mine just stays in place, I hate how my world shatters, Each time I see your face I hate it how you did this, And that you know how much I care I hate how you just bring me down with every little stare I hate it how you know, That none of this is true Even though i'm hurting I can't hate the fact, I LOVE YOU

The images I can't seem to shake. The memory's still clear in my mind. At any point something triggers them and i fall apart all over again. I hate that you have the power over me. I hate remembering the touch just like you are touching me at that moment. My heart seems to mend and with one flash back it's torn again. Each time it's torn its harder to sew back up. Each flashback more painful then before. Like my heart is doing it on purpose. Things I have seemed to block comes back like a ghost of you. Little words get me, I can hear them like you are there when you say them. Memory's haunt me, the heart won't let them go. I am so afraid to love you again for the fear of losing you. Living in the past seems like the only way to keep you . Everyday with each passing memory i relive kills me a little each day. Why won't my heart just kill me now, why suffer. The images i can't seem to shake, the ghost of you.

You said we'd always be together, And nothing could ever tear us apart. You said you knew you loved me, You could feel it in your heart. You promised you'd love me forever, And love doesn't change over night. You said you cherished each minute together, Every moment holding me tight. You claimed you'd do anything for me, There was nothing you wouldn't do. You said if we kept no secrets, There wasn't anything we couldn't get through. You told me I was beautiful, And I was perfect in every way. You said that I was always on your mind, You thought about me each and everyday. You said you felt special when we were close, Like all your worries had disappeared. You claimed that you'd want me always, Us being apart you greatly feared. But here I am broken, torn ... all alone. There's emptiness where you stood in my heart. That means many promises were broken, I guess that means .. you lied

I am tired of feeling alone I am tired of wanting you back I don't sleep anymore because I don't want to wake up crying every day I am tired of my heart aching with every thought of you I am tired of getting ignored for something I didn't do I am sorry you ever asked me that day in October I am more sorry I said yes I hate myself for believing you even after you told me you were never going to leave me. You told me I was the one over and over How did that change from what just seemed like over night I went from your baby the women of your dreams to someone you can barely talk to now. I want to kill myself everyday so I don't have to hurt anymore Jab my heart with that knife you put in me everyday My eyes how they hurt all filled with tears for you But you know as crazy as it sounds, I am still in love with you What does she do that I didn't for you How can someone hurt someone over and over again the way you seem to do That knife you have in me just do what you want to do With every word I see of the love you two seem to share just do it.. Just take it and kill me

Make it go away!!! The pain I feel I can't put into words. Feeling nothing at all would be a dream. Not believing your lies, your words. You were my world, now its empty. You filled something deep inside, something I thought you shared. Star corssed lovers destined to be together-soul mates-. I thought you meant that I guess those were just words to! The plans, the dreams I guess were all mine. You held my heart and all I asked was to love it, Just love me. To many tears still don't make the hurt and hatered I feel for you right now go away. In one night you made me believe. In one second you tore it all away. I would have given you the world, the universe. Even now your words mean so much. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to believe you were just playing games. I don't want to believe you didn't love me. I don't want to believe you didn't care. I want to forget you, I want to never hear from you again. I don't want to let you hurt me anymore. I want to stop loving you, caring about you. I want my heart back that i gave you in trust. I want you to feel the pain I am feeling at this very minute. I hate you but I love you at the same time. Just make it go away, Just make U go away!!!!

Take my soul Now i lay me down to sleep I pray to the gods please my soul to keep I dream and dream of what I hope would come Only to wake with the same as i begun. I cry and cry with each dream I have More and more intense with each passing night I hoped you would come rescue me from my hated life Now i know its only but a dream As i still cry for you, Do you even care? Once I was happy you made sure of that I didn''t mind to dream of the day that you told me would come. Now i pray for them to take my soul as its empty inside Thanks to you who told me lies So tonight i will go to sleep again And wish for the Gods to take my soul You have taken my heart whats more to break The soul is all i have in this empty body of mine So let me sleep and pray my soul will be taken Writen by: Amie Felicetty