I feel very compelled to tell you that I feel your pain. Not like others say they do but in the same way with different details.
Society only grieves with us for about a week. They then give "us" about another week or two maybe. At this point all is expected to return back to normal.
They however fail to realize that we didn't just lose our life partner and part of our soul, but who we were died with them. Every plan, goal and dream included went into the ground as they did.
We have to start over and find the "me" without the "us" the whole time having no desire to do so. Nobody unless they have been where we are can fully understand it. They think their words of comfort and encouragement will fix it. In reality all we need is to be held and rocked. No resolutions offered just let us pour out our soul and listen. Let use share memories to give our soul confirmation that we have not lost the only thing we have left of them, their memory. You are not gone until forgotten. Our biggest fear is they will be forgotten.
The very thing that others tell us to do (let go move on) is the one thing we feel guilty for doing. If we begin to consider moving on we feel guilty for wanting to love another. We feel like we are cheating on them, well their love.
We are wounded, and as a deep wound it takes time to heal and scar. Like a wound we scab over thinking yes we are on the mend, then we catch that scab on something pulling it off without warning and we are bleeding all over again. Except for now that support system that was there when we received the wound is none the wiser and so through it we must travel alone.
This is one of those kinds of hurt that someone just has to see and let us lean on them. We are crying out but only to fall on deaf ears.
