An odd space my head is in.
Lots of chemicals running through my head. Oh not the recreational drug kind, but more of the chemicals involved with attraction, love, and finally attachment. Attachment is when you begin to see your love in a more real and rational light.
In my opinion love is fun - not to mention insanity at its finest. All kinds of chemicals are released like estrogen and testosterone which help our sex drives work. Going along with that is the wonderful giddiness caused by dopamine - thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. And there's norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement.
Here's more: Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealizing view that occurs in the attraction stage comes from researchers at University College London. They discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love "obsess" about their partner.
Here's where I think I am headed.....
The attachment, or commitment, stage is love for the duration. You've passed fantasy love and are entering into real love. This stage of love has to be strong enough to withstand many problems and distractions. Studies by University of Minnesota researcher Ellen Berscheid and others have shown that the more we idealize the one we love, the stronger the relationship during the attachment stage.
Psychologists at the University of Texas in Austin have come to the same conclusion. They found that idealization appears to keep people together and keep them happier in marriage. "Usually, this is a matter of one person putting a good spin on the partner, seeing the partner as more responsive than he or she really is," says Ted Huston, the study's lead investigator. "People who do that tend to stay in relationships longer than those who can't or don't."
Playing a key role in this stage are oxytocin, vasopressin and endorphins, which are released when having sex.
Wow.
I suppose the point-if there is one...is that love is like mental illness, and that's got to be comforting on some level for those of you going through it as I am, and wondering - WTF is going on?
No wonder it's a bit uncomfortable not to mention daunting. Conversely, it is also the sweetest bliss that I've known. The closest thing to a feeling of family, and remembering that it's okay to admit you can't be an island. Help is on the way...and you can always return the favor.
[all the scientific jargon was from this article: http://science.howstuffworks.com/love5.htm]
