what have i done?
i want him but not the other one.
I married to get free of the pain
only to add guilt and shame.
i cant give him what he needs..
rotten in all my thoughts and deeds.
i would like to take my life away
to rebuild it like yesterday..
to have the chance to just say no..
to be with the one i love and know...
it is pain of my own making
a poison i have been taking..
the one that i married is sweet and kind
but with the anger of a war inside..
the other man has been my friend he knows me well
and his hope with me is not pretend...
i want one but not the one i have .. i want out of this hell and i want it bad..
i drown daily with the weight i carry...
if only it was easy to burry..
my heart is tainted and i have no rest..
i play with this love
like i was second best....
