Lesava's blog: "Observations"

Twenty years later.........where were you when you heard?  I was in bed on the West Coast, it was 6 am, and my alarm woke me up, my husband in bed next to me, our dog Archibald curled between us.  I flicked on the TV as I always did to the news, and heard them talking about the World Trade Center.  I thought that they were talking about the bombing that took place in 1993.  I rubbed my eyes and looked at the TV just as Flight 175 hit the South Tower.  I was stunned for a moment, then I shoved my husband and yelled, "Craig, get up!!"  He woke up as they were showing a repeat of Flight 11 hitting the North Tower.  He went, "what the fuck?!"  I jumped out of bed and sat in my chair with Archibald on my lap, Craig grabbed us some coffee while he listened.  I think I was in shock until the South Tower collapsed an hour later.  Then I was just bawling, my husband hugged me; the first time in a long while he had done that, our marriage was on rocky ground for a long time.  We got dressed while watching the footage, my office called me and asked if I could come in for an hour to call people and cancel interviews that were scheduled for that day.  Little did we know that nothing would be happening for the rest of that week.

I drove across town and made the phone calls while Mom checked in with his family from home, his boss had called and told him don't come in.  I sat at my desk sending emails and phone calls, and ended up talking to Mom finally while I was there.  Her and Dad were camping with their RV Club at the time, and called my cell phone, which at the time was brand new to me.  Mom asked me, "have you talked to Shenazz?"  Shenazz is my adopted sister, she worked nearby the twin towers at a record company at the time.  She would have been on the subway at the time of the attack, and no one was able to reach her.  It took us six hours to reach her, she was late to work that day.  Otherwise, she would have been caught in the collapse of the first tower.  We always teased her about her tardiness; thank God she was late that day.  She had to walk home to Brooklyn across the bridge with everyone else.  She was the only person that we had in peril that day in our family.  It still amazes me that there weren't any more.  My friend Sean was a lawyer near the Pentagon, he was no where near it at the time, thank goodness, but just like Shenazz, he had to walk a long way home, since no transportation services were open.

After I got home from work, Craig and I were to the grocery store.  He was so concerned about people decimating the store shelves.  We got water, canned food, etc., the things you would get in a situation like this.  We came back home, and watched TV for the rest of the day, like the rest of America.  Archibald was my lifesaver that day, more so than my husband, I'm sad to say.  I wish I could say it brought us closer together, but our feelings about the political players of the day broke us further apart.  My dog was on my lap when I was sitting, he took care of me, he could sense the emotions, and even then I don't think any of us knew what that day would lead to, even twenty years later.

I was talking to my mother this morning as we drank our coffee and watched the ceremonies in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington DC.  I was in New York around 1995 with my husband to visit his family at Christmas, but he didn't want to spend the money to do things like go to the Statue or take the train to Washington to explore.  I told Mom this morning that I want to go to New York, and travel to Pennsylvania and DC from there. I want to go to the Statue of Liberty, I want to see the Pentagon and all the memorials and museums, and go to Pennsylvania to see the hallowed field of Flight 93.  Most of all, I want to go to Ground Zero.  My father was a sheriff for 27 years in Los Angeles.  He cried for his brothers that died in New York, and my father never cried.  I want to go there for him, and for myself.  I want to pay tribute, and lay flowers there.  I want to hopefully have a moment of silence, and when I do, I pray that the world has calmed down from the insanity that has been happening lately.

I have the Tribute to 9/11 concert on DVD that I watch every year on 9/11 that took place at Madison Square Garden for the first responders and families of the victims.  I will watch that today, and I will sing to The Who (rather badly thanks to smoke damage on my throat LOL), I will laugh at Will Ferrell imitating George W Bush, and I will cry with the families that were in the audience and came onstage to remember the fallen.

Take a moment to reflect, and remember our Patriots this day.  Stay safe and be well, my Fubar family.

I'm staying at a hotel for the next couple of nights.  It's not the nicest hotel, but it's clean, a respected brand.  But I have to say, every other person I have seen staying at this hotel has been downright RUDE.  Let's start with the people next door to me; our rooms are connected by a door that's locked.  They have a baseball game on FULL BLAST, she is yelling at him to eat his dinner, and has microwaved everything possible under the sun.  As I sit here attempting to type this, I finally threw on my headphones so that I didn't have to hear their discussions about when to go to Reno and Vegas, and why didn't they get more beer while they were out.  I think I'm going to have to wear this headphones to bed LMAO

When I arrived here, I used a baggage cart to get my stuff in so I could bring it all at once, and save my leg some usage after the long drive.  I tried to bring the cart down the hallway, and the cleaning cart was in the hall.  I could barely get by, and I ask if they could move the cart closer to the side so I could get by.  The one girl ignored me, the other said, "We're almost done, can you wait a minute or two?"  Geez.........really?  The manager heard her and got on her ass, and moved the cart, but still, ya know what I mean?

Now the rudeness happened BEFORE I even got to the hotel.  My brother and I went to lunch, and the waitress was ignoring us COMPLETELY because we dared ask for a regular menu along with the lunch specials; she should have been happy cuz the regular menu was more money for them.  She decided to take our order after the two tables that came in AFTER us, and then I got my plate about 15 minutes AFTER my brother's.  Her tip showed her incompetency, which I hate to do because tips are usually all they get.  I just couldn't give her actions any type of reward, I gave her a tip but it was cut considerably.

Is it just California, or is it in general around the country?  Would love to hear your views on the subject.

I need to preface this by saying that I have nerve damage on the right side of my body due to a car accident that happened in Sept 2001.  I have two titanium cages in my lower back, a nerve stimulator implanted in my waist for my right leg so it doesn't hurt so much, and I have stenosis in my neck.  I get injections in my upper body and lower back every 4 months to help with the pain as well.  I have severe fibromyalgia, and my right thigh doesn't work properly sometimes, so that I need a cane to walk, or sometimes I can't walk at all.

I go to the store quite often, unfortunately, since Mom has Parkinson's and isn't able to go too often.  There are some days that the last thing I want to do is go shopping, but oh well.  My doctor signed paperwork so I could get a handicapped placard, and there are more days than not that I really need it.

Today when I parked at Fred Meyer, I took a handicapped spot, because the pain in my foot and lower back has been VERY bad today.  Each day is different; if I had gone yesterday, I would have parked in a regular spot and walked because my pain level was way low.  Today was just bad.  I put the placard up and got out of the car; I had a slight limp from my foot hurting, but I didn't bring my cane since I would have a cart.  A lady parked in a handcapped spot across the way a bit, and gave me a look before asking if I REALLY needed to park in that spot, older people need it worse than I do.

I turned around and looked at her for a moment before I said, "How do you know what I am going through?  Would you like to speak to my pain management doctor?  My neurologist?  My family practice doctor?  I have their numbers right here."  I don't think she expected me to respond.  She stomped off, and I finally got a cart and did my business in the store.

This happens to me more often than you would think.  I'm here to tell you, it doesn't matter my age, if I'm limping, if I have deformities that are visible, whatever.  I have so many shirts that discuss fibromyalgia because peole can't see this problem; I need to start wearing them more.  Anyway, There are times that my pain level is a 10, and I need to park close.  If I don't need to use it, I don't.  It's for EMERGENCIES.  I have pain ALL DAY LONG, there are just days where it's intolerable.  There may be a day soon I won't be able to use my right leg.  Maybe then people will deem it OK for me to use the placard.

Please don't assume you know what is going on with someone's life.........ask nicely, or just leave it be.  There are things in the world that are more life shattering than a placard.