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"Oh, Crap."

11:30 PM 4/25/2008

So, I got this idea in my head while I was at work that I should find a way to keep track of the issues I answer questions on in the support lounge and in my shoutbox. At work, I keep track of the hospitals' issues in a program called "Footprints," which my boss runs reports on to get an idea what's broken most of the time and what the IT department should spend its resources on. I'm not sure whether or not Fubar has one of these things yet, but it couldn't hurt to try writing one for gits and shiggles. The working title is "OH, CRAP". It's generally the first thing people say to themselves, internally, whenever they come across a problem. I'll be updating this blog entry as I add to this program.
Current Programming Project
Working Title "Owl's Hobby: Cool, Rather Ambitous Project" (or, "OH CRAP")
Purpose Track issues reported in the support lounge to get a better, more comprehensive idea of the state of the site's needs. Follows in the same footsteps as incident management programs like Remedy, Unicenter Service Desk, and Footprints.
Language Visual Basic .NET, 2005 Express Edition
Status Not started

Salute Photo Guide

Here is some information on the salute policy, as of February 28, 2008. This is not new information, but hopefully it will shed some light on what we expect when determining whether or not to approve a salute photo. The goal is to put together a picture that not only says you're you, but can also link itself to your profile. This is why the three basic elements of a salute photo, listed below, are important to have on your handwritten sign.

A salute photo must have a picture of you with your complete face showing, as well as a handwritten sign with the following on it:

  1. Your current Fubar screenname
  2. Your Fubar ID number (it can be found located between parentheses in the title bar of your Fubar home page; mine is 58128)
  3. The word "Fubar"
In lieu of your Fubar ID, you may use your custom URL if you have one set (for example, mine is http://www.fubar.com/owl, or http://owl.fubar.com). The sign doesn't necessarily have to be on paper. Approved salute photos have had the sign information written on the member's hands, forehead, and even on a pane of glass.

What are some things that might get your submission rejected?

  • Signs added after-the-fact. We can usually tell if someone has run it through Photoshop or has superimposed a post-it note onto an existing photo and run it through a flatbed scanner. It's been done. Don't do it.
  • Animated salutes. While that may not be that intuitive to know, it's easier to fake an animated salute than a static one.
  • Photos featuring more than one person. The salute photo's purpose is to link your real existence to your Fubar account. If any questions about your identity could be raised as a result of that salute photo, it will be rejected.
  • Obscured faces. We occasionally see salute submissions where the sign is covering up most of the member's face. This defeats the purpose of a salute. If more than 25% of your face is covered, we will reject it. We will also reject salutes where the member is wearing dark sunglasses (this ALSO hides your identity).
  • Salutes without a handwritten sign. Although this basic concept is implied by the numbered list above, many people submit salutes without that sign, thinking a Fubar T-Shirt or a picture of their Fubar.com Home Page is enough. It isn't - they are only complementary additions to your salute. The sign is still required. In addition, the sign must be in your handwriting. Don't print out a document from your word processor, showing off your fancy fonts.
  • New salutes with CherryTAP or LostCherry instead of Fubar on the sign. Yes, some salutes will say the former names of this website. If you already have one up, and it was approved when we were still LostCherry or CherryTAP, you don't need to take it down - it is still valid. Be aware that we will not accept any new salute submissions without the word "Fubar" on it.
  • Salutes in a private folder. Salutes are meant to be public. Other members should be able to preview the up-close-and-personal salute photo. And, tying into that, we come to...
  • NSFW images on salutes. If the photo could not be shown in a public place, then we will reject it.
  • Content-modified photos. Don't run your pic through Photoshop to "spice it up" or "airbrush stuff out." This subtracts from the authenticity factor of your submission.
If your salute photo is rejected, you'll get two fu-mail messages: one from Fubar Shop telling you it wasn't approved, and another from a bouncer telling you why. Please don't submit salutes that are obviously fake. If enough of these show up, you may lose your account. As always, feel free to ask a bouncer if you have any questions about your potential submission.
Here's something obscure... Never leave out anything important. CSS has a parameter called !important that fits at the end of a statement, just before the semi-colon (;). Its job is to place priority to a statement that is addressed in a style sheet your page loaded first. Here's an example: Your lounge's MOTD contains the style tags that control your lounge's background. Somewhere in there, in the body{} section, is a line that reads: background-image: url('http://www.fubar.com/someimage.gif'); When you edit the MOTD, you're actually affecting the output of a file called "new_lounge.php". By itself, that statement would place an image located at the provided URL into the background of your lounge. However, what if the stylesheet "new_lounge.php" inherited from happened to contain a definition for body{} already? Actually, it happens to: a part of utils.js (JavaScript) actually sets that background (through CSS) to a solid black, 1x1 pixel black dot, tiled everywhere (that is, it's now a solid black background). What do you suppose happens when Fubar gives the original JavaScript the green light? Well, you now have two conflicting lines of CSS, both of which ask to reset the background image. The parent container takes priority... which is the style sheet you've inherited from. And, depending on how fast everything loads, you may wind up with a "flash" effect as one background appears briefly, and then gets overruled. And that's what's so important about... !important. If the code now read: background-image: url('http://www.fubar.com/someimage.gif') !important; ... then it wouldn't matter what other CSS said - your intended image will show up and stay there. Yes... Apparently it's that !important.
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