Nino's blog: "Nino's blog"

cant see the light at the other end, where is the ones that say they are my friends? not here helping me or at my side there running away trying to hide. but all is good it dont get to me, i have friends i call family. i wasnt bad or even good i was taught to be a hood. i grew in power and i grew in my head, i rather work then end up dead. i done wrong but i done more right, i keep smiles going all through the night. never has a tear came from what i done, just smiles and kisses coming from everyone!!!

i cried another tear cause im lost without you, your on my mind and i dont know what to do. you hurt me once and now you want to leave, well fuck it go just let me greeve. its better to know i wasnt ever in your heart, why did you lie if you knew we would part? all i ever wanted was for you to let go, and love me the way you told me so. my friends say its time to move on, but i rather listen to our song. they try to set me up with just a few, but all i ever thought about was you. you held me close and kissed my hand, you squeezed me tight and said you were my man. now you say it dont feel the same, with comments like that your playing a game. my heart aint a prize and its delicate like a rose petal, so when you hurt me i want to crumble and settle. on the ground were you left my soul, the day you left and let me go. i asked why and prayed for you to come back, but now im done cause you smoked up that crack. i dont want a loser who doesnt work, not a asshole who acts like a jerk. i want the prince who would sweep me off my feet, charming everyday and thats who i want to meet. but dreams are crushed everytime i think of you, kicking my ass cause you werent true!

now here i am to shed a tear, to let you know my last fear. i had this love who was everything to me, and she was taken to heaven without this G. we shared our moments sitting on the swing, i would tell her rhymes and she would sing. her voice was an agelic with her soft touch, i love this woman so very much. nothing could stop me from loving this girl, she was everything to me she was my world. but in a flash just like that, she was gone and my head went splat. i could write about our happiness i could write about our love, but now shes an angel up above. so all i have is eternal pain, crying forever more then the rain. my heart was broken she was dead, all my pain was in my head. i took it out on others as they crossed my path if she was dead well you do the math! woman have tried to break down my wall, but i wouldnt let them in not at all. my heart was now made of steel, then i was taught to never feel. cold to everybody my family and friends, my heart was impossible for anybody to mend. lost in my darkness i had no where to go, my pain is now drowning me so i put it in a flow. people had wondered about my life and why at my age i dont have a wife. Ruby was her name i said it before, but i leave my pain at the door. alone in the dark God hears my scream, i only get to see her in my dream. her brother stops by to tell me hi, how are you doing? i have to lie. so hell is the place you might see me dwell, cause of the pain i let out that i wont tell. i smile for others while i cry inside, this is the truth i try to hide!!!

as i lay you down to sleep, i kiss your forehead and say im yours to keep. if i die before you wake, toss my body in the lake. dont ask me why just do as i say, and i'll be reborn for another day. i have this love, i have this passion. i write in a funny fasion. but i do know that i am true, and i love to write peoms for you. the smiles i see keep me at bay, and i love the vouches i receive each day. you cant imagine how i feel, but do know this prince is real! now im waiting at the gates of hell, mad as fuck with a story to tell. why am i here if all i brought was joy, while the torture i had since i was a boy. dam all i ever wanted was to be loved, but i got knighted and stuck in this cove. yes i know you dont understand but im just me a fucked up man. lost in heaven with the purest soul, lost in hell with no where to go. all caught up in the scene, fuck i hope this is a dream.

open my heart if you think you could, tell me you love me and tell me im good. i been hurt in my past, i only told one person about the pain i have. she knows why i keep my distance from you, and i wish that i could love you. maybe in the future i'll break down my wall, maybe i'll show up and give you a call. i just need to forgive myself for what happened in the past years, i condemed myself for her tears. heart break was the love i held so close, and in 15 years i guess im done i suppose. i never let someone get too close to me, i pushed then away and said you cant be with me. but i know someday i'll have to love, if im to forgive myself and have a chance to go above. i may lose you in this rhyme, its ok cause its for me this time. i need to clear out my head, im tired of being the walking dead. none of you could ever feel my pain, its what drove me insane. it held me tight and closed up my soul, the death of my angel let my heart go. my tears and pain i let out for all to see, i held back my suffering. the darkness i held oh so tight, the tears i cried every night. the pain i gave to others the torment i caused left me still and forever paused. watch as someday you might see me smile, but not too soon it will take a while. but i faced my past i ran from after all this time, im done crying and putting it in a rhyme. i went to her grave as i stood watching the children play, i told her i will see her one of these days. but not any time soon cause i must live, i must find a true love to give. all i have in my heart one thats true from the start. only one can hold me tight only one to kiss at night.