So here I was bored as hell and hitting my stumble button on firefox when I ran across a page that was quite intriguing to me. It very much hit home and I really do agree with this 'blog' so I decided to share it. It was written by a girl named Amy Tran and she's quite insightful. I can totally relate to the entire article (well all except for being Asian) so here goes:
Nice Girls Finish Last
Sometimes being a nice girl doesn't guarantee you anything
By Amy Tran
If you've ever watched a classic Disney movie, you probably know the formula: helpless female protagonist in a terrible situation, a prince comes to the rescue, the two live happily ever after.
Or maybe you've watched one too many romantic comedies and aspired to be the woman whose sweet charm is irresistible to even the toughest, most promiscuous guys.
These are just examples, but if we, as women, subscribe to these formulas, most of us end up as victims to it — somehow going along with the idea that if we are kind, sweet and gentle, our Prince Charming will find us.
Maybe at some ancient time, in some mythological place, these fairytales were true. But from my experience, I can tell you that times have changed. If the old adage goes, "nice guys finish last," then I'm here to say girls are not exactly in the best situation either.
Just as girls (please correct me if I'm wrong) wouldn't like a guy who seemed "too nice," being a nice girl hardly gets you anywhere these days. The thing is, "nice" is how you describe an acquaintance, a cat – something that you just don't care too much about.
How does this relate to being Asian American? Well, I can tell you that we, my dear APA sisters, are twice as disadvantaged. Not only have we been barraged by Western ideals of femininity, but we have been conditioned to be quiet, speak softly, and avoid making waves.
Just as the squeaky wheel doesn't get any oil in most Asian cultures, being anything but respectful and kind to anyone in our families is cause for removal from the clan.
And the stereotypes that come along with it! It's not like Asian Americans are routinely distinguished from Asians, so we might as well be Geisha because aren't we supposed to be quiet, submissive, and complacent, anyway?
All these factors combined sometimes makes it a very difficult place for an APA female and her identity, especially when it comes to expected dating behavior, and especially if you're a genuinely nice girl.
Frankly, I'm tired of hearing it from guys who can't deal with it.
"I still love you, it's just that I can't be all that you expect from me."
"I feel bad because you expect me to be as good of a boyfriend as you are to me."
"I just don't deserve you."
Please. All I'm asking is that guys admit that they want someone slightly less kind so they wouldn't feel so guilty. Or to concede that they'd like someone slightly less intelligent so she wouldn't be aware of how unequal the relationship really is.
I don't mean to sound bitter, but this is how I see it. I'm not saying you should steal boyfriends or threaten anybody into submission. I just think that nice isn't the way to go anymore.
I totally agree with this. It seems now days guys either just want a quick thrill ride in the sack, a fuck buddy, or a complete and utter bitch. So I'm wondering, who out there really WANTS a NICE GIRL??
All comments welcome, and I know one day all those guys that were too stupid to realise what they had, will wake up next to the girl that they gave their heart to that didn't deserve it and remember the 'good girl that got away' and it will be too late because once he realises how wonderful he could have had it, us 'nice girls' will be waking up to the guy that already knew :)
And ALWAYS remember not to make anyone your priority when they only make you their OPTION!!
Thanks!
-Teq
Currently listening :
Never Again
By Kelly Clarkson
Release date: 04 June, 2007
