Tequila's blog: "Poems and stories I've written"

Scared +*~*+*~*+ I was scared to speak to you, I was scared to meet you, I was scared to look back into your eyes, I was scared to lay with you holding me, I was scare to feel your lips against mine, I was scared to let you touch me, I was scared to touch you back, I was scared to let you inside of me, I was scared to sleep next to you, Now I'm just scared that I'll end up loving you.... and I don't want to!

Killing Lonliness Inside her heart, Emptiness swirls, Inside her Mind, Lonliness unfurls, she sits in the dark, alone with her thoughts, so hollow and cold, from the battles she's faught, the stories untold, she sits in the dark, her head in her hands. her lonliness grows....... she dreams of a partner, she dreams of a love, someone to take her pain away, one that fits her like a glove. so many times she's found "the one" so many times it has come undone. Where is this "one" to make things right? Where is "the one" who'll hold her tight? Only in her dreams when she sleeps at night...... She dreams of her Man, so dark and so warm, shelter her and cherish her, and keep her from harm, but He is just a mist he's no where in sight, in her slumber she cuddles her solitude, through the cold and lonely night.

I miss You somewhere you've been hurt, now you're just lost in the darkness, feel like you've been knocked in the dirt, nothing inside but sadness and loneliness, you're looking to fill that void you miss, a love lost and placed with emptiness, hurt inside that noone sees, looking for love on your knees, you are looking for love in all the wrong ways, lustful nights and lonely days, misconstreud as a whore in so many ways, noone can see what's really going on, they say that they want you and then they are gone. I can't explain what I'm feeling inside, I don't even know how to describe, the hurt and the pain flowing like rain, I've lost who I am and I give nothing but pain, I can't find myself and you expect me to explain?! I'm fucking lost inside don't you understand?! Give me the knife when I asked for your hand. I miss who I was and I wish she'd come back, but she can't come around till I find what she lacks, people will jugde you, they don't truly get you at all, that love has gone and been replaced with a wall, that wall you once built so long ago, you tore it down but it's back once again. you're now finding out who's truly your friends, I have been bad yes this is true, but I am lost not a fucking clue what to do, so many have said they love and they care, but when it's time for them to show it, few are actually there, lost in my own mind I want to come back, I try to speak my thoughts but my voice just cracks. my heart has been broken for a while once again, so tired of the shit I just want it to end, I want my heart to be filled again I want it to mend, but all that anyone wants from me is just a real good friend. so I wander about mourning the love that is missing, legs like butter on a hot knife, when at most I should be just kissing, well these legs are closed I've locked the fucking door. only one holds the key that will open it once more. so call me a bitch and call me a whore, but fuck what you heard it ain't happening no more!