Daddys Lil Broken HeartAttack's blog: "New Pictures"

I believed, believed in moments not concieved, did he ever believe in me...Secretly within I hold a passionate spirit, uncompromise, without me in your heart...A light in your eyes, that end all lies....Vacant broken, fell at the hands of those moments that I wouldn't see...Cause it was "who" praying for me...So what have I done to be no child , of no angel, have I done anything to be worthy...Daylight dims, leavng cold fluorescence, so difficult to see what there is in this light...and what do I say to all the demons staulking my nights....He never told a lie, well might of told a lie...But he never had to live one, didn't have to hide to save it...and has it come to letting go...Holly

Do I remember how my life has come to be...what this is. I can not explain...so much damage done, I barely recognize me...I feel so lost in this circus, this fake reality...I move so slow amongst them...no one notices me...I'd feel so safe knowing...exploding...If only to be invisible among giants and a killer among thieves...Neither fate nor destiny could capture me...like that of feeling so unloved...alone would not hurt...wishing reality would be so numb......What am I seeking, I do not even know...Who I am, who I was...or how much longer I can go on before I'm done...Could someone else ever really know, answer these haunting questions, show me the way to go...Forgive myself...my past...my pain...take this confusion and my company "Misery"....Make me love who I am, Be happy with who I seem to see, stretched beneath my skin, so tired of waiting and so tired of running, from what has been, and what will soon come to be....HOLLY

How they just fall...like leaves on the breeze....How they linger so.....as if frost among my cheeks....tears I can not control, air I can not breath....images floating away, like unconcious daydreams....I reach out without anything I can believe....Sifting through darkness, shuffling my feet....There is no lighted tunnel, only shadows lurking in the dark....laying claim to my sorrow....beating down on my heart.......Holly

Amongst Pairs and Duets, I do not belong-I do not belong....arranged on this path -lost in a world of ghosts...have I been so damn wrong....To believe in a word or a thought, i've never held or seen.....If I ever did, it was never within my reach....I'm sick with such sadness...I can not see....above this fog or beneath my feet....Astray are my daydreams, admist the ringing in my head...Such innocent belief with which I've been lead...>Surrounded within my walls of fear and discreat, hide my true destiny , so far from me.....Acceptence -go hand in hand.....with Denial and Defeat......So close to suffering and settling-regret nothing and longing everthing with smiles......This is what has been in me all the while.................................................................

Do you see, what I see...Do you feel,this hurt....walking among clowns - covered in dirt....such sorrow feeds me, and pain ..I doubt I deserve......swallows me whole & pain is dessert....Family is "what"?.....but a name, and embers that burn......take me from dreams...build me up in a fire.....kill me with desire .......Do I need you? NO....want I don't show.....Silent breathe escapes me while pride eats me slow...Do I trust you or love you.....I can't quite decide,,,,,I'm faded beneath skin & triumph, while life is not slow....Forgive my sins..and mistakes that I've done.....while living to die seems like so much fun,.... Come between shadows & dreams ......save myself , before I can not unfold.........before I scream and bleed.....I can not interpret your words....or walk on this sea......My judgement is wreackless & lost within me...........;.....HOLLY