(an open letter from a Master to his slave)
Things She Needs From Me!!
You need to feel safe. Before you can begin to open your submissive nature to me you need to feel safe and have reason to trust me. To let down your walls and give me control of your will may take time and testing before you feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after you've given yourself to me fully, you need to be reminded you are safe with me. You may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but you need to be sure no matter how I stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, you will remain safe in my care.
You need to know I accept you for all you are. You will be many things to me as our relationship grows and you need to know I accept you as a person during each transition along the way. You need to know I accept you as a friend, lover, companion, and my submissive but also accept you as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles you fill in your obligations to family or society.
You need to have clearly defined limits. You need to know exactly what I expect of you and know that you also understand my limits. In some ways you are like a child that needs a fence around your play area so you know how far you can go and feel secure inside those limits. You need me to reinforce those fences by correcting you when you try to climb them without my approval.
You need me to be consistent. You need to know I mean what I say and that today's rules will apply to tomorrow's behavior. Nothing confuses you more than giving you mixed signals by allowing you to break rules that I have given you.
From time to time you may test me to see if I am capable of accepting control of your life by consistently bringing you back to the path I have chosen for you. It's not done to try my patience but is your way of finding reassurance that I am paying attention to your progress. Very often it's not done consciously and you promise you will not use it as a method for provoking my negative responses.
You need to expand your limits. You need to grow and to be challenged. Left on your own, you will become bored or stagnate within the boundaries you accepted in the beginning. You need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places you have been. You may drag your feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because you’re unsure and need my guidance in overcoming your obstacles. You depend on me for strength and encouragement to get beyond them.
You need me to teach you. You need to learn and it is me who is your teacher. Your mind is hungry for new things and learning helps you to become all that you can be. This may require me to continue to learn new things in order to keep you challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity we share.
You need goals. Part of your make-up as a submissive makes you very goal-oriented. You need them to measure your progress and need me to provide them for you. Take time to explain those goals in ways you can comprehend my plans concerning your growth as my submissive. Without my direction you quickly become lost so you will look to me frequently to provide a purpose and aim as you continue in your development as a submissive.
You need to be corrected. You need me to correct you when you make mistakes. Without my correction you will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals. Without my correction, you may never know you have made a mistake. Allowing you to continue unchecked will only cause you to fail both of us in the end. You admire firmness in my correction and feel secure in knowing that I will never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping you focused on the goals I have set for you.
You need me to be your role-model. You look up to me and try to follow in my footsteps. If I fail to live up to a standard, you will follow me into failure, often without me noticing until it is too late. You learn quickly by the examples I provide for you and often base your reactions and behaviors on your observations of me in similar situations. You will blindly pattern yourself in my image so I must be aware that your eyes will always be on me as face my own challenges and daily activities.
You need my approval and reassurance. You need to know when I approve of you or what you have done and to know you belong to me even if you fall short of your goals. You sometimes confuse approval with disapproval when I do not provide positive reinforcement when I am pleased by your actions. You will constantly be seeking my approval when you are unsure of yourself and may need to rely deeply on my support and reassurance when you are confused about a situation or apprehensive about a new challenge.
You need to be able to express yourself. You have a need to express both good and bad things to me but it may be difficult for you to put the negative things into words. You fear my rejection and hate disappointing me, so you may need a little space and time to voice all the things you need to say. I can help you by reassuring you that your feelings are valid, even if they aren't something I find pleasure in hearing. There may be times when you are upset or angry with me but without freedom to express those feelings there can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding. Guide you in ways that you can learn to speak your heart without breaking it or mine.
You need to learn from your mistakes. You need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully. You know my protective nature will struggle with allowing you to be hurt but you need to learn the consequences of what you have done and to experience the feelings that go along with making mistakes. You will need my comfort once you have faced your failure but will sometimes feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice your disappointment in failing. Allow you to sort out your feelings before wiping away your tears.
You need forgiveness when you fail me. Nothing hurts you more than to know you have failed or displeased me and you need to be forgiven once you have made amends. It is very hard for you to forgive yourself for a wrong-doing and you may need my help in getting beyond the feelings of remorse you are carrying. You may even need to be punished, if your wrong-doing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure and accept forgiveness. You depend on me to make that determination for you and need my help in making an atonement that is acceptable to me.
You need to feel you contribute. You have a deep-set need to give and must have outlets for this need. Your basic nature is to give of yourself and I will be the primary recipient of your gifts. Allow you to contribute to our relationship and our life together. To do less will leave you unfulfilled and unneeded, a fate worse than death for you. Provide you with ways to contribute things to others, also. You may need to give of yourself to those you hold dear but I will always receive the best you have to offer.
You need to enjoy successes. Without experiencing and enjoying your successes you may give up your fight to be all I desire for you. Allow you the pleasure of savoring the taste of victory when you overcome an obstacle or if I find pride in your attempts. All of your successes belong to me and you need to share their rewards with me. You don't expect me to spoil you with grand displays for little victories, but when you have reached beyond the limits of your past attempts, don't deny you the sweet feelings of knowing you have achieved a goal I have set.
You need to share with me. Sharing with me is a compelling need and one of the cornerstones of your submissive nature. This includes the emotional and spiritual aspects of your being as well as the physical body you inhabit. It may be difficult for you to give me access to the deeper levels of your emotions and feelings but those are the things you need to share the most. You will depend on me to direct you in ways you can achieve total openness with me. You also need to share in the things I am. Trust you enough to share in my fears, failures and struggles. You will never see me as weak or incapable because I have shown confidence in you by giving part of myself in trust.
You need to feel loved, respected, and protected in my ownership. No matter how well you have done or how miserably you have failed, you need to know you are still loved and protected by me. Nothing will prevent you from trying new things like fear of losing my respect and love. By the reverse, nothing will encourage you to expand my limits and grow to be all you are capable of being more than knowing I will be there to protect you from harm and will love you even if you fall short of the target.
You need to be loved and to love me in return. You can't survive without it.
