Well, this has been one interesting week. Between "work", school, the kids, and attempting to sleep, I have been so busy!! It sucks. And i have begun to realize, people annoy me too much for me to deal with them on a regular basis. Dennis is driving me insane... well, i suppose has already driven me insane, and is just torturing me at this point. I wanted to go to OKC, to hang out w/ Tiff, and he totally foiled that plan, AS USUAL. Annoying asshole. And lexi has an eye infection. She hasn't been feeling well at all. And, actually, Tash has even been sick. Which totally bites. So they have been up late, being cranky and such. well, even cranky during the day! It's terrible!! Nothing worse than cranky children!!! UGH!!! I hate it when they're sick. Nothing I can really do... besides the usual, medicine, and cuddles and kisses! It just sucks, cuz i feel so bad. Tash was running a temp, lexi was coughing, both of them were whiny as hell. It's like, what do you do?outside of medicine, there's nothing you can do. It's so sad.
other than that, I haven't been up to much. The boy's group home thingy is pretty cool. Honestly, overnight is SO boring. But i think I can actually get on full time. Yay me huh? This past week there has been killer. I mean, only 3 nights, but between that and class, i am up over 24-36 hours. It's fucking rough. I forgot what it was like. Now I remember the good ol days out at the prison, being up for 2 days or more straight!! Sometimes, I actually miss being out there. A guy who used to work out there, works now at this boy's home place, and I forgot what he said, but it made me think about Busby, and laugh. Of course, despite the major major issues that prison had, I actually miss being out there, SOMETIMES. i could never go back out there, though. I mean, I felt like I spent most of my life out there. Honestly, I really think I did. I would love to get one of my last paychecks and see how many hours i actually worked out there. I remember having quite a few checks w/ 110, 130, even some as many as 140 something hours. Those were our TWO WEEK checks.... lol but by that point it was like, mostly paying taxes. Stuck you in a different tax bracket lol. Maybe it's because i spent so much time out there, that I miss it. I am a very stong willed person, and that didn't work very well for me, there. Any prison setting it probably wont be. But, I really did enjoy it a lot of times. I remember that one night I stayed after my 7a-7p shift for night shift till 11. Then turned around and clocked back in at 3 (4 hours before my next shift *lol*) We could only be clocked-in 16 hours total. But, that night i actually slept AT the prison... back in "in-take" got an inmate mattress, a couple blankets, and crashed. Woke up, showered, in COLD WATER, mind you.... thank god my b/f at the time brought me a clean uniform and underwear lol. But i felt icky that whole day. Showering in a prison isn't a very clean thing. Well, it doesn't feel that way...
Anyways, I can't really think of much else to say without BITCHING... and I am trying to not BITCH.... Lent. I am trying to avoid "fighting"... and "red meat"...well, I guess sunday's are your "get out of hell free" cards :) I can bitch and eat red meat today... just not tomorrow... *lol* but seriously... I am trying to avoid arguing... mainly just cuz it raises my stress level, and I am way too stressed out to get anymore stressed.
Well, i guess I'll wrap it up... I am listening to this song... and it always makes me sad... (who can guess why!!!) So i figured I'd post the lyrics... mainly, cuz they're SOOO true, for SOOO many people, for SOOOO many different reasons... relating to SOOO many people in their lives... it's weird. That's why I like this song... among others.... because this song, can apply to SO many people in my own life, it's so crazy...
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
