Well as I sit here I think so people have said that I think to much for my own good.. I know nothing and especially life makes no sense what so ever. Try to be a nice caring person and we get shit on. I know been there many a time. I do understand. The boy's Mother was a maniac depressive so I have been through it all worse in person then just emails. I have been through the mill. I lost my Mother and I lost a child and have been used by a few women. Now all I want to do is find a friend with benefits. LOL I learned that term in 2005 when I was down in Louisiana for hurricane duty. I doubt I will get married again. I think I might move in with someone but marry no not again I think. But I havenít met any friends with benefits either lol. Sorry I guess I'm just being an idiot tired of being alone and having no sex life or cuddling or someone to go to the movies with me or to hold hands with, etc. I try then feel like not trying because no one else seems to want to try. Maybe I do think to much sometimes that can be bad or good. I guess that would just depend on the situation. I realize that Iím missing a lot but when you have been burnt a few times you have a tendency to put up walls and it is very very hard to trust. But I do know not all are a like but still you have a tendency to put those walls up and in front of your self. And I wont say that I havenít fantasized about a women from this site showing up at my place to show me the errors of my thinking lol what a fantasy which I know wont happen. People are happy just being on here and being all they can be. With no fear of every having to met anyone from here so they feel comfortably safe. Not saying no one meets Iím sure there are a few. My thoughts, always thinking for good or bad.