Brithearts's blog: "My thoughts"

I forgot to add that not only do both my parents have it, but a few people in my family do as well. ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Pits are Angels in Disguise Date: Dec 5, 2007 4:30 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Brit♥[[I didn't ask to be this way]] Date: Dec 5, 2007 3:24 PM I know what it's like. I've never been tested, but the chances are high. I just took an Bipolar Screening Test. I checked 25 out of 27 boxes. That's quite a bit. It gets really hard on me, and those that I am always around. Mainly Josh. I think that he gets the worst of it. I feel so bad about it afterwards, and I hate myself for it. I hope that I can get to see someone about being tested soon, so I can get this taken care of. I want people to know that even though sometimes it may feel as though you are the only one who has this, you aren't. There are many people out there, you aren't alone. I'm here for anyone who ever needs to talk. Blessed be, Brittiny Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives. About 5.7 million American adults or about 2.6 percent of the population age 18 and older in any given year,1 have bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder typically develops in late adolescence or early adulthood. However, some people have their first symptoms during childhood, and some develop them late in life. It is often not recognized as an illness, and people may suffer for years before it is properly diagnosed and treated. Like diabetes or heart disease, bipolar disorder is a long-term illness that must be carefully managed throughout a person’s life. What Are the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder? Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings—from overly “high” and/or irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, often with periods of normal mood in between. Severe changes in energy and behavior go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression. Signs and symptoms of mania (or a manic episode) include: Increased energy, activity, and restlessness Excessively “high,” overly good, euphoric mood Extreme irritability Racing thoughts and talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another Distractibility, can’t concentrate well Little sleep needed Unrealistic beliefs in one’s abilities and powers Poor judgment Spending sprees A lasting period of behavior that is different from usual Increased sexual drive Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior Denial that anything is wrong A manic episode is diagnosed if elevated mood occurs with three or more of the other symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for 1 week or longer. If the mood is irritable, four additional symptoms must be present. Signs and symptoms of depression (or a depressive episode) include: Lasting sad, anxious, or empty mood Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, including sex Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being “slowed down” Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions Restlessness or irritability Sleeping too much, or can’t sleep Change in appetite and/or unintended weight loss or gain Chronic pain or other persistent bodily symptoms that are not caused by physical illness or injury Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts A depressive episode is diagnosed if five or more of these symptoms last most of the day, nearly every day, for a period of 2 weeks or longer. A mild to moderate level of mania is called hypomania. Hypomania may feel good to the person who experiences it and may even be associated with good functioning and enhanced productivity. Thus even when family and friends learn to recognize the mood swings as possible bipolar disorder, the person may deny that anything is wrong. Without proper treatment, however, hypomania can become severe mania in some people or can switch into depression. Sometimes, severe episodes of mania or depression include symptoms of psychosis (or psychotic symptoms). Common psychotic symptoms are hallucinations (hearing, seeing, or otherwise sensing the presence of things not actually there) and delusions (false, strongly held beliefs not influenced by logical reasoning or explained by a person’s usual cultural concepts). Psychotic symptoms in bipolar disorder tend to reflect the extreme mood state at the time. For example, delusions of grandiosity, such as believing one is the President or has special powers or wealth, may occur during mania; delusions of guilt or worthlessness, such as believing that one is ruined and penniless or has committed some terrible crime, may appear during depression. People with bipolar disorder who have these symptoms are sometimes incorrectly diagnosed as having schizophrenia, another severe mental illness. It may be helpful to think of the various mood states in bipolar disorder as a spectrum or continuous range. At one end is severe depression, above which is moderate depression and then mild low mood, which many people call “the blues” when it is short-lived but is termed “dysthymia” when it is chronic. Then there is normal or balanced mood, above which comes hypomania (mild to moderate mania), and then severe mania. In some people, however, symptoms of mania and depression may occur together in what is called a mixed bipolar state. Symptoms of a mixed state often include agitation, trouble sleeping, significant change in appetite, psychosis, and suicidal thinking. A person may have a very sad, hopeless mood while at the same time feeling extremely energized. Bipolar disorder may appear to be a problem other than mental illness—for instance, alcohol or drug abuse, poor school or work performance, or strained interpersonal relationships. Such problems in fact may be signs of an underlying mood disorder. Suicide Some people with bipolar disorder become suicidal. Anyone who is thinking about committing suicide needs immediate attention, preferably from a mental health professional or a physician. Anyone who talks about suicide should be taken seriously. Risk for suicide appears to be higher earlier in the course of the illness. Therefore, recognizing bipolar disorder early and learning how best to manage it may decrease the risk of death by suicide. Signs and symptoms that may accompany suicidal feelings include: talking about feeling suicidal or wanting to die feeling hopeless, that nothing will ever change or get better feeling helpless, that nothing one does makes any difference feeling like a burden to family and friends abusing alcohol or drugs putting affairs in order (e.g., organizing finances or giving away possessions to prepare for one’s death) writing a suicide note putting oneself in harm’s way, or in situations where there is a danger of being killed If you are feeling suicidal or know someone who is: call a doctor, emergency room, or 911 right away to get immediate help make sure you, or the suicidal person, are not left alone make sure that access is prevented to large amounts of medication, weapons, or other items that could be used for self-harm While some suicide attempts are carefully planned over time, others are impulsive acts that have not been well thought out; thus, the final point in the box above may be a valuable long-term strategy for people with bipolar disorder. Either way, it is important to understand that suicidal feelings and actions are symptoms of an illness that can be treated. With proper treatment, suicidal feelings can be overcome. What Is the Course of Bipolar Disorder? Episodes of mania and depression typically recur across the life span. Between episodes, most people with bipolar disorder are free of symptoms, but as many as one-third of people have some residual symptoms. A small percentage of people experience chronic unremitting symptoms despite treatment.3 The classic form of the illness, which involves recurrent episodes of mania and depression, is called bipolar I disorder. Some people, however, never develop severe mania but instead experience milder episodes of hypomania that alternate with depression; this form of the illness is called bipolar II disorder. When four or more episodes of illness occur within a 12-month period, a person is said to have rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. Some people experience multiple episodes within a single week, or even within a single day. Rapid cycling tends to develop later in the course of illness and is more common among women than among men. People with bipolar disorder can lead healthy and productive lives when the illness is effectively treated (see “How Is Bipolar Disorder Treated?”). Without treatment, however, the natural course of bipolar disorder tends to worsen. Over time a person may suffer more frequent (more rapid-cycling) and more severe manic and depressive episodes than those experienced when the illness first appeared.4 But in most cases, proper treatment can help reduce the frequency and severity of episodes and can help people with bipolar disorder maintain good quality of life. Can Children and Adolescents Have Bipolar Disorder? Both children and adolescents can develop bipolar disorder. It is more likely to affect the children of parents who have the illness. Unlike many adults with bipolar disorder, whose episodes tend to be more clearly defined, children and young adolescents with the illness often experience very fast mood swings between depression and mania many times within a day.5 Children with mania are more likely to be irritable and prone to destructive tantrums than to be overly happy and elated. Mixed symptoms also are common in youths with bipolar disorder. Older adolescents who develop the illness may have more classic, adult-type episodes and symptoms. Bipolar disorder in children and adolescents can be hard to tell apart from other problems that may occur in these age groups. For example, while irritability and aggressiveness can indicate bipolar disorder, they also can be symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, or other types of mental disorders more common among adults such as major depression or schizophrenia. Drug abuse also may lead to such symptoms. For any illness, however, effective treatment depends on appropriate diagnosis. Children or adolescents with emotional and behavioral symptoms should be carefully evaluated by a mental health professional. Any child or adolescent who has suicidal feelings, talks about suicide, or attempts suicide should be taken seriously and should receive immediate help from a mental health specialist. What Causes Bipolar Disorder? Scientists are learning about the possible causes of bipolar disorder through several kinds of studies. Most scientists now agree that there is no single cause for bipolar disorder—rather, many factors act together to produce the illness. Because bipolar disorder tends to run in families, researchers have been searching for specific genes—the microscopic “building blocks” of DNA inside all cells that influence how the body and mind work and grow—passed down through generations that may increase a person’s chance of developing the illness. But genes are not the whole story. Studies of identical twins, who share all the same genes, indicate that both genes and other factors play a role in bipolar disorder. If bipolar disorder were caused entirely by genes, then the identical twin of someone with the illness would always develop the illness, and research has shown that this is not the case. But if one twin has bipolar disorder, the other twin is more likely to develop the illness than is another sibling.6 In addition, findings from gene research suggest that bipolar disorder, like other mental illnesses, does not occur because of a single gene.7 It appears likely that many different genes act together, and in combination with other factors of the person or the person’s environment, to cause bipolar disorder. Finding these genes, each of which contributes only a small amount toward the vulnerability to bipolar disorder, has been extremely difficult. But scientists expect that the advanced research tools now being used will lead to these discoveries and to new and better treatments for bipolar disorder. Brain-imaging studies are helping scientists learn what goes wrong in the brain to produce bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses.8,9 New brain-imaging techniques allow researchers to take pictures of the living brain at work, to examine its structure and activity, without the need for surgery or other invasive procedures. These techniques include magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), positron emission tomography (PET), and functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). There is evidence from imaging studies that the brains of people with bipolar disorder may differ from the brains of healthy individuals. As the differences are more clearly identified and defined through research, scientists will gain a better understanding of the underlying causes of the illness, and eventually may be able to predict which types of treatment will work most effectively. How Is Bipolar Disorder Treated? Most people with bipolar disorder—even those with the most severe forms—can achieve substantial stabilization of their mood swings and related symptoms with proper treatment.10,11,12 Because bipolar disorder is a recurrent illness, long-term preventive treatment is strongly recommended and almost always indicated. A strategy that combines medication and psychosocial treatment is optimal for managing the disorder over time. In most cases, bipolar disorder is much better controlled if treatment is continuous than if it is on and off. But even when there are no breaks in treatment, mood changes can occur and should be reported immediately to your doctor. The doctor may be able to prevent a full-blown episode by making adjustments to the treatment plan. Working closely with the doctor and communicating openly about treatment concerns and options can make a difference in treatment effectiveness. In addition, keeping a chart of daily mood symptoms, treatments, sleep patterns, and life events may help people with bipolar disorder and their families to better understand the illness. This chart also can help the doctor track and treat the illness most effectively. Medications Medications for bipolar disorder are prescribed by psychiatrists—medical doctors (M.D.) with expertise in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders. While primary care physicians who do not specialize in psychiatry also may prescribe these medications, it is recommended that people with bipolar disorder see a psychiatrist for treatment. Medications known as “mood stabilizers” usually are prescribed to help control bipolar disorder.10 Several different types of mood stabilizers are available. In general, people with bipolar disorder continue treatment with mood stabilizers for extended periods of time (years). Other medications are added when necessary, typically for shorter periods, to treat episodes of mania or depression that break through despite the mood stabilizer. Lithium, the first mood-stabilizing medication approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treatment of mania, is often very effective in controlling mania and preventing the recurrence of both manic and depressive episodes. Anticonvulsant medications, such as valproate (Depakote®) or carbamazepine (Tegretol®), also can have mood-stabilizing effects and may be especially useful for difficult-to-treat bipolar episodes. Valproate was FDA-approved in 1995 for treatment of mania. Newer anticonvulsant medications, including lamotrigine (Lamictal®), gabapentin (Neurontin®), and topiramate (Topamax®), are being studied to determine how well they work in stabilizing mood cycles. Anticonvulsant medications may be combined with lithium, or with each other, for maximum effect. Children and adolescents with bipolar disorder generally are treated with lithium, but valproate and carbamazepine also are used. Researchers are evaluating the safety and efficacy of these and other psychotropic medications in children and adolescents. There is some evidence that valproate may lead to adverse hormone changes in teenage girls and polycystic ovary syndrome in women who began taking the medication before age 20.13 Therefore, young female patients taking valproate should be monitored carefully by a physician. Women with bipolar disorder who wish to conceive, or who become pregnant, face special challenges due to the possible harmful effects of existing mood stabilizing medications on the developing fetus and the nursing infant.14 Therefore, the benefits and risks of all available treatment options should be discussed with a clinician skilled in this area. New treatments with reduced risks during pregnancy and lactation are under study. Thyroid Function People with bipolar disorder often have abnormal thyroid gland function.4 Because too much or too little thyroid hormone alone can lead to mood and energy changes, it is important that thyroid levels are carefully monitored by a physician. People with rapid cycling tend to have co-occurring thyroid problems and may need to take thyroid pills in addition to their medications for bipolar disorder. Also, lithium treatment may cause low thyroid levels in some people, resulting in the need for thyroid supplementation. All informatiion can be found at the following website: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder/complete-publication.shtml

Yes, last time I checked I weighed 170 pounds. I can't even remember last time I weighed that much. I keep losing weight, and that makes me so happy. At my highest, I was at 220. I vow never to weigh that much again-- ever. I was always happy to just get to 175, so you have no idea how happy I was to see 170 on the scale. My next goal is 165, then 160. I know that I can do it. Josh said that he will start taking me to the gym in the afternoon, because there aren't that many people there at that time. I asked him if he would stay near me until I am comfertable to be by myself, and he said that he would. I said that on the days that he goes to school, and his brother isn't home that I will do either my hip hop dance or my belly dancing videos that he bought me awhile back. If my legs hurt, I told him I won't go to the gym, so I can't really set days to go until about the day before. So, that's good. I hope that next time I weight myself either I am still at 170, or I lost a pound or 2, that would make me very happy. Oh, and we are going to save up for a tredmill, too. ^_^ We talked about me painting, and he said that when we get our house, I can paint a sunset on our bed room wall. Like, an African sunset. That made me smile, because I really like to paint. I've been reading more articles lately, and Josh likes that. I've been talking to him about what I have been reading, and wouldn't you know it, I actually find the things that I read (and what read together) somewhat interesting. I understand what we are reading together, and my slight stutter is going away. I really appritiate him not correcting me everytime I have to try to pronounce a word a few times. He used to jump to tell me how to pronounce it after I got it wrong the first time, but he lets me try a few times now, or until I ask him how to say it. It makes me feel better when I get it right without his help. I think that it builds my reading confidence! I don't know, but it makes me happy. What else? I forgot what else I really wanted to write, so whatever. I took a bath, and got a bad headache, so I took something for it. Big mistake. It made me feel like I was going to throw up-- after making me feel like I had finished a joint by myself. I layed down and fell asleep, and now I'm better. After I am done with this, and reading my e-mails, we are going to bed. I don't want to keep going to bed at almost 4 in the morning. I dislike doing that now, odd as that is for me. I still don't like getting up before 9:30, though, so I try not to, but some days I'm awake at around 8, that's usually when Josh goes to the gym first thing in the morning, though. So, he probably thinks that I am just saying that. I'm not. He's drawing me right now, so I am going to check my e-mails, and read the articles that he sent me. I love you. Brittiny

*Why did this happen? He shouldn't have been let free!! Our system is on the down fall!!!! By Jacinda Howard Nov 28 2007 By JACINDA HOWARD, The Mirror The bright faces and frequent smiles of Brian and Beverly Mauck will be remembered by those in Federal Way and Des Moines, where the two were respectively raised. The Federal Way Community Center was packed Saturday with friends, family and acquaintances who came to celebrate the short-lived lives of Brian and Beverly Mauck, who were violently killed in their Graham home on Nov. 17. Brian, 30, and Beverly, 28, will be remembered and mourned by many. “They lived life to the fullest,” Brian’s sister Jennifer Heilbrun said. “There was not anything that went undone.” Questions remain: While family and friends remember Brian and Beverly Mauck, questions about their deaths linger. The couple was found shot to death three times, execution style, in their home Nov. 17, according to charging papers. The motive for the crime was not known at first.Later, after the Pierce County Sheriff’s Office questioned neighbor Daniel Tavares Jr., 41, several times, he admitted to killing the couple after Brian Mauck allegedly insulted him when Tavares came to the couple’s house Nov. 17 to collect a $50 debt, according to charging papers. On Nov. 19, Tavares was arrested and booked into Pierce County jail without bond, said Jerry Costello, Chief Criminal Prosecuting Attorney. The following day, Tavares was arraigned and charged with two counts of aggravated first-degree murder and one charge of unlawful possession of a firearm in the slayings of the Maucks, according to charging papers. Tavares remains jailed. Prosecutors have until Dec. 20 to decide if they will seek the death penalty. However, prosecutors expect the defense to request more time to convince a judge that the case should not be tried as a capital case, Costello said. If the case is not tried as a capital case, the penalty for aggravated first-degree murder is life in prison, he said. It would not be the first time Tavares spent time in prison, nor would it be the first murder charge that got him there. In June, Tavares had finished his more than 15-year prison term for the murder of his mother. But prosecutors requested he remain imprisoned based on allegations of assault on two prison guards. The request was approved by one Massachusetts judge and bail was set at $50,000. Then, Judge Kathe Tuttman overturned that decision and Tavares was freed. He subsequently moved to Washington. Heilbrun said her family has not wanted to think about the circumstances of Brian and Beverly’s deaths. She said she is not knowledgeable enough about previous charges against Tavares and the circumstances of his release to make an educated speculation on why he was allowed to leave the prison. But she wonders why Tavares was released from prison when he had a violent record. “Obviously it’s senseless,” Heilbrun said about the deaths of her brother and sister-in-law. Remembering loved ones: Brian Mauck’s family has resided in the same house since he was in first grade. He attended Decatur High School where he played football and baseball, Heilbrun said. He then attended Pierce Community College before moving north to enroll at Western Washington University. Prior to finishing his education at Western, Brian moved back to the Federal Way area and began a refrigeration apprenticeship before becoming a journeyman refrigeration technician with Emerald Aire in Auburn. Brian was goal-driven and ambitious, Heilbrun said. “He would say something, then the next day it would be in the works,” she said. He was known for his good nature and smile. Many of his close friends were people he befriended in high school, Heilbrun said. People who knew Brian in junior and senior high school — some who had not seen him in years — have left their memories of Brian posted at brianandbeverlymauck.com, a Web site dedicated to the couple after their passing. “He had thousands of friends,” Heilbrun said. In 2001, Brian met his match — Beverly. Like Brian, Beverly also grew up in the area and attended school in Des Moines. As a teenager, she worked at Pattison’s West Skating Center. There she got to know the Pattison family while reveling in her fervor for skating. “She was always a happy, fun-loving kid and she was that way as an adult too,” Pattison’s co-owner Kay Pattison said. Brian and Beverly celebrated their union in May 2006 when they were married. Together they enjoyed life. Scuba diving, traveling, motorcycle riding and the Seahawks were passions they shared, according to brianandbeverlymauck.com. “They lived, they laughed and they loved,” Heilbrun said. Brian is survived by his parents Al and Pam Mauck, his sister and brother-in-law Jennifer and Chris Heilbrun and nieces Gracie, 4, and Lexie, 21-months. Beverly is survived by her mother, Karen Slater, and stepfather, Rick Nelson, her brother DJ Slater, and brother and sister-in-law Craig and JoAnn Slater. Contact Jacinda Howard: jhoward@fedwaymirror.com or (253) 925-5565. ---- Mitt Romney in the mix: Former Massachusetts Governor and Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney appointed Kathe Tuttman to her seat as a Superior Court judge in Massachusetts. He asked her to resign from that position Saturday in light of the Mauck murders and what he called a bad judgement, according to a Nov. 24 The Associated Press article titled “Romney: Judge he appointed should resign.” In what has turned into a political frenzy, vying Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani has referenced the case as a demonstration of Romney’s bad record against crime, according to the same article.

Hmm. I've been having thoughts all day, and for the most part, I have forgotten what I wanted to write. I know that I had something important to say, if you can believe that. I've decided that if that law (that HR law) comes into effect, and I can't get to Canada, then I will take anything bad about the goevernment and Bush off my profile. I would much rather be safe then in jail, or put on the list. I don't think that I will have to wait forever to get out of this country, but until then I would like to keep myself from getting arrested and keep myself out of jail. Know what I am saying? I hope so. Other then that, life has been basically uneventful. Got laundry done. Went to get my Revolver magazine, and I couldn't find it, at either Wal*mart. So, Josh said that he would be so kind as to try to find it tomorrow or Saturday for me! He said that I will be getting it. After he is done in the shower, it's my turn, then we are doing some stuff, and then I get to watch the sexy Jolie in Tomb Raider and The Cradle Of Life. I love those movies. Then we are watching Super Size me, which I have seen. Not much else to write, I guess... I love you. Blessed be. Brittiny

I'm Brittiny. I'm only 19, yet some describe me as "19 going on 2 going on 21." I can be the biggest kid in the world, but I'm still more mature then many my age. I've seen many things that are wrong in this world, and I've also seen many good things in this world. I cannot truly say one way or another whether the world we live in is either good or bad, yet I can say that everyday I see more and more things that need fixing. Since the age of 13, after denouncing my involvement in the "religion" of Jehovah's Witnesses, I was an atheist. As I continued to grow, I saw more things that grabbed my attention, and I changed religions constantly. I'm pretty sure that my family quickly grew irritated with me, despite the fact that each time I could voice my reasons quite well. Soon after, I was agnostic, the hopeful side of me not sure if their was a "God" out there. That was the shortest religion ever. I think that lasted maybe a school year, before I decided that their was no "God" and that I would be an atheist. Sometime in 8th grade (before the atheist bit), I discovered Wicca. It lead me down a path where I was always searching for more information on the subject. When I moved into my mother's house when I was 18-- I was kicked out of my grandmother's apartment, sadly-- I began to wonder what other religions were out there. I looked many up, and was drawn to Satanism. I didn't want to claim that I was one until I really knew what it was all about, and I could not find one copy of the Satanic Bible, so even though I liked the concepts of what I read, I pretty soon abandoned that. I may not be able to accurately account for every religion I was and when, but you get the idea, that when one certain "label" no longer satisfies me, I go out looking for something that fits me better then the last (example-- from straight, to bisexual, to pansexual). As Josh and I realized last night, I do not put myself into one "narrow" label, or what not. For the past few months, I have been identifying as a "Satanist," and proudly. Yet, lately, I've found myself wondering if that still is the case. I know that I cannot truly identify as one religion or another anymore. Some of the beliefs I hold are held by a few religions, and still there are some that are held by one, but not the other. That sparked an idea. Why conform to one religion or another? Why not create my own? It's been done before. So, that's what I am doing. Something to suit me-- it doesn't matter if others wish to follow it or not. What matters is that I am happy. Josh said that he would be part of this, too, which made me happy. "What's the name of this religion?" You may ask. Well, if you promise not to laugh, I will tell you. Promise? Good. I'm calling it "Peace, man." It's the only thing that sounded good to me, and seemed to fit. I'm not sure what I will call the followers just yet, but hopefully by the time that I am done explaining everything that my "religion" involves, where I get each of my ideas, and which religions I pulled my main ideas from, then I will have a name for that. For now, I will use the word "Peacers," if that's even a word. For the religions that I used to get ideas from, I used four major religions that I strongly believed some of their ideas to begin with. The religions that I researched are as follows: Wicca, Buddhism, Rastafari movement, and Satanism, along with some suggestions from Josh that I will take into account. Some "religions" have a basic "statement" about what they are about, and I couldn't think of one for this blog, so I'm not going to bother trying to come up with one-- it took me long enough to think of the name "Peace, man." The first thing that I will cover is Wicca-- rather, what I gained from Wicca that I wish to continue taking with me through my life. One of the main components that I like about Wicca is that it is nature-based, which to me is totally cool. I'm all for nature, and respecting it. The Wiccan reed is also something that I admire, but I'm not going to rip it off, that wouldn't be right. Here is the actual Wiccan reed: "An it harm none, do as thou wilt Do what you will, so long as it harms none An it harm none, do what thou wilt That it harm none, do as thou wilt Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, An it harm none do what ye will" I'll come up with something of my own, not as much as a "reed," but more of a simple poem, that I think works well with what I'm trying to accomplish in this "religion" of mine. "To each creature you near, Be kind. Harm no one, Physically or emotionally. Everyone feels just as you, Don't send out negative energy, Be the one to send out positive energy. With each smile you send out, You make someone feel good. Hatred has never changed the world for the better, Kindness will." It's not much, but I like the ring of what I'm trying to say. Give me credit, I'm used to writing sad poems. There are eight virtues in the Wiccan religion, they are as follows: mirth (joy and laughter), reverence (respect), honor, humility, strength, beauty, power and compassion. I think that everyone should have laughter and joy in there life; people should learn respect (in all actuality, people should earn it, but if the person has done nothing to not receive the respect, they should get it), towards everything-- nature, every animal, and humans alike; you should be fair, and believe what you are doing is right, honor the laws that are not going against human nature, and ones that are ones you believe in; be strong willed, do not let others bully you into something you don't want to do, don't let others crush what you believe in, and stand up for what you believe in; see the beauty that is in everything-- the way the waves crash on the shore, the way the grasshopper makes that noise you hear at night, the way it's so quiet that you can hear your own heart beat; have the ability to accomplish what you set out to do, be determined; be kind to those around you, don't be cruel, lend a helping hand to those in need, don't be greedy with the wealth that you have because you think that since you "earned" it, that you deserve it, chances are, you don't. Earth, air, fire, and water. The four elements that are a basic in Wicca. I believe that you should respect each force in nature, not only separately, but even more so as a whole. Each of those forces are extremely powerful, and we would not be able to survive if we didn't have them. Think about it. What about holidays, you may ask. Well, I'm getting to that. Imbolc is first on my list. Celebrated on February 2nd, it marks the end of Winter, and the beginning or Spring. The color of this day is red, so I would go about showing that by wearing a article of clothing that is red. On this day, you can either have a little party (if that's what you want to call it), or reflect on what happened over the past few months by yourself. That's my little spin on it. The vernal--spring-- equinox is about March 20th or so. On this day, there are exactly 12 hours of light, and 12 hours of darkness, so this marks the pass from the darkest part of the year, to the lightest. Beltane, May 1st, we will wear all white, and have fires in the evening (the white is because that is the customary color of that day, and the fires because that is tradition, but we will not be jumping through them). Next, we have the summer solstice-- around June 21st. You can celebrate this any way you like, but I think that the best way, would to just enjoy nature, by possibly having a picnic, or something similar. Lamas is August 1st, and it's color is brown. Starting a tradition, it will be a day of feasting, but there will be a spin. The whole day you must eat completely vegan, and eat all your meals outside, maybe in the shade of a tree, or by a lake shore. Around September 23rd, we will have the Fall Equinox. We will see Fall is here, and Winter is fast approaching. Samhain is the last day in October-- the 31st. The veil between the realm of the living and the dead is especially thin on this holiday. In Latin countries, the Day of the Dead is commemorated around this time of year. It is customary to do a divination on this day for what the coming year will bring. I think that it would be fun to keep this as the "Witches New Year," and bring it over into "Peace, man" as our new year also. Not as the actual new year, but a time to start new projects, to make a new goal, to pursue a different goal, etc. More of a "beginning" if you will. About the time of December 21st, is the Winter Solstice-- also known as Yule. This is the shortest day of the year, and the longest night. Since this day also represents the point at which the sun begins to wax, it represents rebirth and regeneration. Seeing as that is the case, it gives me a most excellent idea for how to celebrate the Winter Solstice. The night before, go to bed as you normally would, but on the night of the Winter Solstice, stay awake as long as you can. You can do a number of things while you are awake during the night. You can read-- if you have a fireplace, that would be perfect; you can play some board games with the rest of your family; you can take a walk outside if it's not too chilly; make something else up that you would enjoy. Hand fasting is another celebration held by Wiccans, and is the commonly used term for their weddings. Some Wiccans observe the practice of a trial marriage for a year and a day, which some traditions hold should be contracted on Lammas (Lughnasadh), as this was the traditional time for trial. I think that the year and a day trial marriage is an excellent idea. Divorce rates are far too high now, and that's not good. It wouldn't be mandatory to do such a thing, but it would be encouraged. Wow, that's a lot of information, isn't it? But, wait, there's more! I hope that you aren't sick of reading this blog, because I'm no where near done. The next religion that I looked at was Buddhism. Buddhism is often described as a religion[1] and a collection of various philosophies, based initially on the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama, known as Gautama Buddha. Brahma-vihara is another subject of meditation that is beneficial to practise. The word "brahma" can be rendered as excellent, lofty, sublime or noble, and vihãra, "as states of living." Brahma-vihãra, therefore, means, sublime states; some call it "divine abodes." It can also be called "the art of noble living." There are four brahma-vihãras, namely: Loving-kindness or universal love (mettã) Compassion (karunã) Sympathetic joy, altruistic or appreciative joy (muditã) Equanimity (upekkhã). They banish selfishness and disharmony and promote altruism, unity and brotherhood. They are also known as boundless states or illimitables (appamaññãyo) because they are virtues to be extended towards all beings, without exception, irrespective of race, caste, color, community, creed, East or West. I agree with all that. Everyone should have the same love, kindness, compassion, sympathy, joy, and everything else, no matter what he looks like, where he is from, or anything else that makes him "different." Meditation. I've personally never have tried it, but would like to try. Here is something that I read that I thought would be perfect: "When practising meditation on the brahma-vihãras, it is easier to start with oneself. For instance, when meditating on love, proceed thus: "May I be well, may I be happy; may I be free from illness, may no harm come to me," and so forth. Then think of a teacher, a friend, an indifferent person and lastly an enemy (if any, but one should not create an enemy), and radiate thoughts of love towards them. It may appear very difficult to extend love to an enemy, but this difficult thing one has to do to remove discrimination. Love should be extended to all without any compromising limitations." That would be an excellent thing to start doing. At least two times a week would be nice, more if you feel comfortable doing so. Mettã (Skt. maitri) is the wish for the welfare and happiness of all beings, making no restriction whatsoever. It has the character of a benevolent friend. Vicious thoughts of animosity and hatred are most detrimental and harmful to those who harbour them. When people are angry, they can behave very much as the other animals do. They growl and bite, or cringe and fawn. This is due to man's ignorance. This is as true on the personal as it is on the international level. Mettã is the best antidote for anger in ourselves. It is the best medicine for those who are angry with us. Let us extend love to all who need it with a free and boundless heart. Love is the language of the heart, a language that comes from the heart and goes to the heart. Love is a force linking heart with heart to heal, and uniting us in true companionship. Highly developed thoughts of mettã seem to possess magnetic power. By radiating such sublime thoughts it is possible to influence and win over people. I agree that you should love others, and extend it to them. I try to do this as much as possible, you never know who is having a bad day, or what someone is going through. I'm trying to think of something loving, or positive when I get angry now, and it seems to be working. When I get mad that I don't have much to do during the day, I think to myself "Well, this gives me more time to spread the word on animal cruelty, or a missing person, and other things." It makes me feel better. When ever I am talking to a friend, whether I know them personally or not, I try my best to send positive energy, and love to them, make them feel better-- even if they aren't down. Through love one adds to the fund of human happiness, one makes the world brighter, nobler and purer and prepares it for the good life better than in any other way. Hatred restricts; love releases. Hatred strangles; love liberates. Hatred brings remorse; love brings peace. Hatred agitates; love quietens, stills, calms. Hatred divides; love unites. Hatred hardens; love softens. Hatred hinders; love helps. Thus one can use a correct study and appreciation of the effects of hatred and the benefits of love, as a basis for developing the meditation on loving-kindness. Love As a mother loves her child, An only child, With love that knows no limit, Spreading wide, Measureless and immense-- And, for it, will sacrifice Her very life-- So let your love for all beings, East and west, north and south, Below, above-- Extending and extending wide, Be immeasurable, exhaustless. Unfathomable. Chaste is such love, Not clinging--and so to fools 'Tis incomprehensible; But the Seers understood, And understanding, knew full well Its golden worth. (after Metta Sutta, trans. Kassapa Thera) Karunã is defined as "the quality which makes the heart of the good man tremble and quiver at the distress of others," "the quality that rouses tender feelings in the good man at the sight of others' suffering." I have been told that I am an extremely compassionate person, and I am proud of that fact. The compassionate man who refrains from harming and oppressing others and endeavors to relieve them of their distress, gives the gift of security to one and all, making no distinction whatsoever. Karunã has the characteristic of a mother whose thoughts, words and deeds tend to relieve the distress of her babe. It has the property of not being able to tolerate the sufferings of others, and the manifestation of perfect non-violence. Goodness and violence cannot co-exist; goodness constructs while violence destroys. Compassion cannot be cultivated by one who is obsessed with thoughts of selfishness. It is the self-sacrificing man who fills his heart with pure thoughts of pity and wishes to help and serve others. The selfish cannot be of real service to others for their selfish motives prevent them from doing good. No sooner do they become selfish and self-possessed than they fail to soften their hearts. Hard-heartedness is overcome by pity, by sympathy. Compassion is guided by wisdom and wisdom by compassion. They go hand in hand, they are the backbone of Buddhism, the guiding principles. Jealousy is a vice that defiles our hearts and makes us unhappy. I do admit that I am a jealous person, and I am working on that. I'm jealous when other girls talk to my husband. Other then that, I'm pretty god about not getting jealous. Jealous people cannot feel happy when others are progressing, but they rejoice over the failures and misfortunes of others. Some parents feel jealous when others' children are doing well while their own are not successful. This is meaningless, and bears unpleasant fruit. Why can't people just be happy that a child is doing well? I don't understand. Muditã is the congratulatory attitude of a person, it removes aversion. Through meditation and the study of the vicissitudes of life, we can cultivate this sublime virtue of appreciating others' happiness, welfare and progress. When we learn to rejoice with the joy of others, our hearts get purified, serene and lofty. I congratulate people all the time. It makes me happy to tell them that. ^_^ Seeing a starving man we offer him food out of compassion (karunã). When we see that he has eaten, that his hunger has ceased, and that he feels happy, then we too feel happy and pleased. Such selfless action really brings us unalloyed joy, sympathetic joy (muditã). You will now see how these sublime states function together supporting one another. I would definitely be happy that he has eaten. Life is not a bed of roses. One needs much patience, energy and determination to cultivate these qualities without being selfish or partial. Equanimity or balance of mind guides the other three qualities and keeps the mediator in a place of security. It brings about self reliance. We are all confronted with the eight vicissitudes of life (attha loka dhamma): gain and loss, good repute and ill repute, praise and censure, pain and pleasure. It is hard to be undisturbed when touched by this welter of experience. But the man who cultivates equanimity is not upset. He does not waver. Amidst blame and praise, success and failure, he is firm as a solid rock. This, of course, is the attitude of the Arahats, the Consummate Ones. Of them it is said: "Truly the good give up longing for everything. They prattle not with thoughts of craving. Touched by pain or happiness, the wise show neither elation nor depression." I can understand not showing the depression, but I think that you should show your happiness when the good happens to you, and that you should use that to help you through the tough times. That's something that I need to work on. The proximate cause of equanimity is the understanding that all beings are the result of their actions (kamma). The direct enemy of upekkhã is attachment and the indirect or the masked enemy is callousness or unintelligent indifference. That's basically the Buddhist part of today's lesson. Let's move on. Next on the list is more of a "movement" rather then a "religion," but I like it anyway, it's my new created religion, I will do what I want with it. Rastafari movement is what I will be focusing on next. Rastafari culture does not encourage mainstream political involvement. Now, with that, I can see why they would want that, but I think that you can have a certain amount of political involvement. I don't want anyone else like Bush ending up in office, so I will be voting, and most likely turning in a blank balled form, as I have received that idea from a friend of mine. A reasoning is a simple event where the Rastas gather; smoke ganja (They are not surprised that it is illegal, seeing it as a powerful substance that opens people's minds to the truth — something the Babylon system, they reason, clearly does not want); and discuss ethical, social and religious issues. The person honored by being allowed to light the herb says a short prayer beforehand, and it is passed in a clockwise fashion except in time of war it is passed counterclockwise. A binghi or grounation is a holy day; the name binghi is derived from Nyabinghi, believed to be an ancient, and now extinct, order of militant blacks in eastern Africa that vowed to end oppression. Binghis are marked by much dancing, singing, feasting and the smoking of ganja, and can last for several days. They contrast their herb to liquor, which they feel makes people stupid, and is not a part of African culture. While there is a clear belief in the beneficial qualities of cannabis, it is not compulsory to use it, and there are Rastas who do not. Personally, I haven't smoked pot in a little while, but as long as it doesn't take every cent you have, I see no problem with it at all! Occasionally, it can be quite fun, and it opens your mind. I really don't get why it's illegal, it was legal for over 200 years. Weird. I don't drink, either. I mean, I have taken a few drinks here and there, but I have never been drunk, nor do I think that I want to! January 7 - Orthodox (Ethiopian) Christmas February 6 - Bob Marley's birthday Both holidays which can be added to the calendar of events! The more binghis the better. The wearing of dreadlocks is very closely associated with the movement, though not universal among, or exclusive to, its adherents. Rastafari associate dreadlocks with a spiritual journey that one takes in the process of locking their hair (growing dreadlocks). It is taught that patience is the key to growing dreadlocks, a journey of the mind, soul and spirituality. Its spiritual pattern is aligned with the Rastafari movement. The way to form natural dreadlocks is to allow hair to grow in its natural pattern, without cutting, combing or brushing, but simply to wash it with pure water. I found that interesting, and as much as I love the look of dreadlocks, I like clean hair better. Hehehe. The colors of Rasta are red, yellow and green. The red, green, and yellow are the colors of the Ethiopian flag, and the black represents Africa's people. Each color has its own meaning, and they are very significant for many Rastafarians. The red is for the blood of all living things in the world. The yellow is for the sun that shines in Africa. The green is for the earth that people walk on, to which Rastas feel a special connection. I used to have a tongue ring with those colors, I miss it. -tears- I may not be black, but I don't think you have to be to appreciate what those colors mean to them! I plan to incorporate those colors into the design for my new religion, which is already being drawn up. Politricks is a Rasta term replacing English "politics", because so many politicians, etc. turn out, they say, to be more like tricksters. I'm doing that from now on. It's so cool, and it's the truth. Almost done with the explanation of where I got certain things! Only Satanism is left! Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams! We are here, don't let the "belief" that there is a better life after death hold you back! There is NO proof that there is. Live for this life, not the one that might be there next time, and certainly don't live for a "God" that doesn't exist! Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all! Animals are living, breathing creatures as well, do not, for one moment, think that we are any better. We can walk, we can talk, and we use what we can do to commit things that I think we should be ashamed of. When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there. Exactly what it says. If you are in someone's home-- respect him. Do not harm little children. Enough said. Josh's suggestions-- ones that I am making part of the religion are in italics Periodic solitudes/retreats Periodic fasting Drum circles-- for certain holidays Chant Dancing Meditation Mantras Cooperation and altruism Altered states of consciousness (as in indigenous religions/ shamanism, induced through drumming, drugs-- entheogens) Rite of passage/ coming of age ceremony Vision quest Let's recap, here are the basic components of Peace Man: *Respect nature , and all the creatures of nature *Basic poem *Eight basic Wiccan virtues: mirth (joy and laughter), reverence (respect), honor, humility, strength, beauty, power and compassion *Eight Wiccan holidays *A year and a day marriage trial *Sympathy *Meditation *Sending love to yourself, friends, family, and even your enemies *Be a loving individual *Think positive *Expel hatred from your heart *Be compassionate *Try to relieve others of their distress *Do not be selfish *Learn as much as you can *Try not to be a jealous person *You can smoke it up *Singing, dancing, feasting, and smoking (if you choose to light up) are to be used to mark Binghis *Do not harm children *Don't be materialistic *Don't be greedy *Help others So, you see, that nothing in my new religion can be taken as a bad thing-- unless you are a conservative American, then you are out of luck. I just want something that is me. Something that I can say that I believe in 100%. I don't think that any person can really say that they believe in their religion 100%, and if they do, they mustn't think for themselves. I am extremely happy to know that I created this, and that I am not the only member. It may only have one other person, but it's a start. You can be a Peacer, and have other beliefs, too. So, Amber, want to be a Peacer? I love you all. Brittiny [8:15 pm] How could I be so stupid? I forgot some MAJOR things! -hits head on desk- Well, let's see where to start? One thing that I forgot to mention is that I will be buying a necklace of each religion, and wearing them all, along with creating my own. Another thing is that I do believe in fairies and such things. I don't feel like writing out ever reason why or whatever right now. One last thing...I do believe in Karma...To an extent.