Alison's blog: "My Poetry"

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My hands are scrambling to hold on to
What you choose to just throw around
We can't escape this history we created
So why are you trying to put us in the ground
I never once desired this silence
Nor did I want us to give up and choose death
But here I am ignoring all reasons to cry
And fighting this war to take one last breath
I'm not ready to back down from any of this
You can't force me to let go and feel as you do
It's not as easy as you make it seem
Because the truth is, I love you
And I mean that more than you want me to
I mean it more than I want myself to believe
But now it's all out in the open
And now it's my heart I need to retrieve
You stole it the day you took my breath away
Held it hostage in those hands of yours
I can't believe how comfortable it got there
And once it was my tears but now my blood pours
It spills over what we once were
And all the hopes and dreams we once shared
But now they are all just a distant memory
And I try to convince myself that you once cared
But I don't trust myself anymore
So I choose to build up these walls around me
To protect me from all I once believed in
I'm sorry I couldn't be all you wanted me to be
I am only one person who can only be myself
It's too bad I couldn't be enough for you
We could have been so happy, you and I
But I still hope you find happiness in all you do
And as for me, I will give up this fight
And I promise not to ask for anything more
But as my last breath escapes my lips
I will tell you we are no different than we were before
You say that things have changed
Yet they still remain very much the same