Alison's blog: "My Poetry"

Untitled

My hands are scrambling to hold on to
What you choose to just throw around
We can't escape this history we created
So why are you trying to put us in the ground
I never once desired this silence
Nor did I want us to give up and choose death
But here I am ignoring all reasons to cry
And fighting this war to take one last breath
I'm not ready to back down from any of this
You can't force me to let go and feel as you do
It's not as easy as you make it seem
Because the truth is, I love you
And I mean that more than you want me to
I mean it more than I want myself to believe
But now it's all out in the open
And now it's my heart I need to retrieve
You stole it the day you took my breath away
Held it hostage in those hands of yours
I can't believe how comfortable it got there
And once it was my tears but now my blood pours
It spills over what we once were
And all the hopes and dreams we once shared
But now they are all just a distant memory
And I try to convince myself that you once cared
But I don't trust myself anymore
So I choose to build up these walls around me
To protect me from all I once believed in
I'm sorry I couldn't be all you wanted me to be
I am only one person who can only be myself
It's too bad I couldn't be enough for you
We could have been so happy, you and I
But I still hope you find happiness in all you do
And as for me, I will give up this fight
And I promise not to ask for anything more
But as my last breath escapes my lips
I will tell you we are no different than we were before
You say that things have changed
Yet they still remain very much the same

No Words Left To Speak

Don't leave me here

I need you to stay

To catch each tear

You caused today

I know you hurt me

But I just can't let go

I want you to see

I need you to know

That I love you

And I always will

And this is true

Completely real until

You let me fall

Out of these dreams

When I give my all

It's not as it seems

There are no words left to speak

You've taken my breath away from me

You've left me here so weak

That I can't let you see

That this doesn't feel right

And things can't be this way

But you can't leave without a fight

To convince me I want to stay

I really don't want to leave

But I don't know why I should stay

Maybe if I could only believe

That you wouldn`t run away

Everything is going to be fine

I`m going to make it trrough

You were never mine

So I no longer need you

Why Did I Let You Catch Me

Why did I let you catch me

When I was falling down

Couldn't I just let myself

Finally hit the ground

Would've been much better there

Instead I held on to you

Let you take control of me

Now it's time we're through

Never thought it would come to this

You left me here with no choice

Thought you would call all the shots

But today I finally have a voice

It's telling you to leave me alone

To cut your losses and be on your way

All this time you caused me pain

I opened my eyes and now I won't stay

I'll walk away and not look back

You were never anything to look back on

Neither were our dreams and memories

Everything we had is too far gone

We can't get any of it back

You can blame yourself for that one

I tried my hardest to make it work

But it looks as though you finally won

You got exactly what you wanted

And that was to be rid of me

I can't say that I am too surprised

This was how it was supposed to be

So I will sit here and cut my losses

And at the same time I'll cut out my heart

I'll lay the pieces down at your feet

And one day it will tear you apart

One day you will realize what you gave up

You may even try to come crawling back

But we both know I won't have that

Because what I need is what you lack

So don't you even bother trying

To make up for all this time we lost

Nothing you do or say will make this up

I've paid far more than my share of the cost

The Way You Make Me Feel

I can no longer wear this disguise

And I know that soon you'll realize

That I'm the one for you

And that you love me too

You bring life to me

And I know that soon you'll see

That you should be here

Where I can have you near

I can't describe the way you make me feel

You make every dream feel real

And I never want to let go

Because I love you so

The Cost of Losing You

Now I must back down

Before I say too much

This can't happen again

We can never lose touch

Time to bite my tongue

And let the blood flow

It won't hurt that bad

I need to let this go

The cost of losing you and this

Is far too much for me to bear

Won't stand in the way this time

'Cause what we have is far too rare

I don't think I could go on

Just the thought of losing you

I can't wrap my mind around

Instead it breaks my heart in two

So I will stop this now

Before it gets too deep

Can't let you have control

You'll never have my heart to keep

The cost of losing you and this

Is far too much for me to bear

Won't stand in the way this time

'Cause what we have is far too rare

Don't say that you're sorry

'Cause it only hurts me more

It's a dagger through my heart

We've been here once before

I'm crying just to reach you

You're dying just to please me

It's bringing us down the same road

It's time to open my eyes in see

The Storm

The rain came down hard that night

Or maybe it was just the sweat forming on my palms

The thunder rolled through that night

Or maybe it was just the sound of my beating heart

The lightning struck me that night

Or maybe it was just the chemistry between us

The storm changed me that night

Or maybe I just wished that it brought a change in me

I Came To You

I came to you

To hold my hand

I came to you

To understand

I came to you

To make my day

I came to you

To make me stay

I came to you

To see inside

I came to you

To run and hide

I came to you

To wipe my tears

I came to you

To hold my fears

I came to you

To open my soul

I came to you

To take control

I came to you

To let me fall

I came to you

To give my all

I came to you

To rip me apart

I came to you

To break my heart

Open My Eyes and See

The words I speak are so powerful and strong

But when I go to leave it feels too wrong

They say I should turn my back and walk away

But for some crazy reason I always stay

And I put up with your pathetic lies

That I seem to believe when I look into your eyes

I now realize that your heart is so cold and empty

With my hands tied behind my back I can't be free

People tell me you're no good for me

And that I should open my eyes and see

That all this time you have caused me pain

And that with you I have nothing to gain

You slap me in the face and I fall to the ground

I go for many days without being found

You come to my rescue like you always do

And I realize I'm still in love with you

They say that it's time for me to go

But before I do I need you to know

That you are my life and for I would die

But it turns out I am too weak so instead I cry

Not because I have lost you but because I have lost me

I was too blind that I couldn't see

That the ones that will remain in my heart

Are the ones who have been there from the start

People tell me you're no good for me

And that I should open my eyes and see

That all this time you have caused me pain

And that with you I have nothing to gain

I know I may have lost them forever

But maybe one day we can be together

Like we were once before

I couldn't ask for anything more

People tell me you're no good for me

And that I should open my eyes and see

That all this time you have caused me pain

And that with you I have nothing to gain

I Still Love You

I have to let go

Of what was never there

I now know

That you didn't care

It took me too long

To see things clear

Now I know I belong

Somewhere other than here

Where that is

I just don't know

But I do know this

I have to go

I'll never forget you

You mean too much to me

And this is true

Maybe one day you'll see

So now I'll say goodbye

It's time to walk away

I gave my best try

To end this all today

Mean This Much To Me

I know this wasn't meant to be

And that I could be on my way

But I won't leave until you see

Every reason I need to stay

I would stop breathing without you

I need you to push me along

Without you I wouldn't make it through

Because with you is where I belong

I know it's hard for you to believe

That you mean this much to me

But it's time for you to leave

So I guess you'll never see

My heart stops beating when you're gone

I need to learn to live on my own

I have to figure out what's going on

It turns out I've always been alone

I always thought I needed you

But it seems as though I was wrong

So now I think we're finally through

Because now I know where I belong

So now it's time to say goodbye

I hope that life treats you right

I know I won't have to cry

Because now you're out of sight