MEAN JEAN CRAZY BITCH's blog: "My poetry"

Confused Im lying here wondering why I should even care. I wonder if he thinks I shouldnt be able to have a voice. But you see thats not the reason I moved here. It was because I was madly in love and because it was my choice. I was happy when I came to this place, as the days go by Im still in love but Im still quiet unsure I understand. Im confused about what or whom Im suppose to be. I just want to be able to please my man. Deep down I still want to be able to please my man. I thought we talked about any and everything that made sense. I truly miss the man I fell in love with on the phone. Maybe it is me and that in reality I really am just dense. Cuz i cant come to terms that Im so far away from home. I feel like Im under pressure all the time. Feeling like I have to walk on eggshells, so he doesnt get mad. So i usually turn my feelings an desires to paper and rhyme. Mostly Im very happy but occassionally I feel sad. I dont have anything to offer or give. All i can do is love and help out around the house. As you know in reality its not enough for us to live. Although, sometimes I feel like crawling in a hole like a mouse. Sometimes I ask myself "Do I really belong?" "Am I good enough for this relationship so it will last?" Im weaking Im no longer as strong I just dont want to ruin this one like all the others int he past. He is very extra ordinary & special to me. I have never loved anyone so much, I just want to be able to be me. I even feel the love in his touch. As my love for him in my heart and soul grows, Please help me understand how to please my man! copyright2006 Roberta Jean Zupkie 8-26-04

Making A Change in Life There comes a time in your life when you have to make a change Try new beginnings and let everything around you rearrange Unloading old burdens onto your friend Hoping to fill them up again Its never going to be different unless you re-apply yourself Cuz starting over doesnt necessarily mean you have to have wealth Just good intentions and the will to carry on Is enough to get started and to move on Always remember you have someone you can always count on Someone who will listen to every word and every song Our life may keep on going with the help of others But the one we really should ask for help from is our mothers They know where we come from and how we feel They know when we act fake or if we are real They also can help us decide on which path we should take Or whether or not if we should carry on with the decision we make There are so many changes in life that I would like to make To start from maybe 10 years ago give or take i really dont know which way I should go I have alot of decisions to make which I'm not sure I know Being alone after 15 years is really hard Luckily I have a few friends that actually love me To help me see thru the bad moments and to make good times Even tho sometimes I can even screw up those times I ask very nicely that those who are there for me To be patient, understanding,forgiving and loving to me Because there are going to be times that I fail Just please dont sit there and condemn me to hell! copyright2005 Roberta Jean Zupkie 6-16-04