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It was a Saturday night, and like every other 20 something I was out getting trashed and hooking up with guys!! Just kidding, I was on i-chat with my mom until about 1am. We were thinking of costume ideas for my first performance of "Bail Money" at a gay pride event in Long Beach. I was thinking of going with a jailbait type look and we decided that wearing panties or boy shorts under that said "guilty" on the booty would be hilarious. After all, I was performing with very seasoned drag queens and the competition was stiff, so to speak. We were also three hours into the conversation that consisted only of crazy costume ideas with sprinkles of my mom's upcoming Easter parade with the kids. Needless to say, we were getting a little goofy. My mom is a creative genius, that's where I get it from. She hand made little chick outfits, and hand painted an entire float for her pre-school kids to ride on in the parade. My mom never does anything half way, and that's why I'm so critical of everything that I do, we have high standards.
I remember talent show practice where I would cry because I was so tired and so sore, but my dad wouldn't let me sleep until I got the moves right! I had a little bit of a learning curve when it came to dancing. One time I fell asleep in a coffin that my mom had made as a prop for our rendition of "thriller", no joke it actually happened. Anywho, we're getting off topic. So, here we are talking about the naughty panty boy shorts and my mom is updating me on her recent plugs. When all of a sudden she literally jumps back in her chair. "OMG what is that?!" is all that she uttered while staring curiously at the computer screen. What "that" turned out to be was a strap on. Apparently, my mom had typed in "naughty panties" in the search engine and had accidentally clicked on a random link. She was understandably embarrassed and desperately trying to click off the screen, but also curious as to what this contraption does. "I could never be a lesbian" she said turning red as she began to realize it's use. I said, "Mom they are not only for lesbians, in fact lesbians have sex like this", and of course I had to show her with my hands. She had no idea why then a straight couple would have use for this, I could tell by her expression, but I think by the time she figured it out she was over the conversation, and then some!
Mission find boy short panties that said guilty: Failed.
Mission Educate My Mom in uses of strap on's: Complete :)
PS: The naughty booty shorts were out, and I ended up going with a more classic look....as per the norm.
