that handsome black guy's blog: "my life"

    My Happy life



And now it’s just my heart and dreams that’s on line broken this time and every time.
.........starting out with my ex friend. I loved my ex. I loved everything about her. The way we talk and the way we can talk about anything. Starting out she made me feel good. We talked on the phone everyday, up tell the day when was she kick out her mom's house. that's when hell started. she told me that she didn't to talk everyday, and she always act like she was to busy for me. Just to see her I had to go an hour and 30 minutes out of my way to see her.

I come down every week to see her at her job or just to chill with her. But when I do call she was always over some friends house. Never names or anything of the friends. Just I'm over my friend house doing this or thing. She had a lot of guys friends. Never come up to see me, her boyfriend. But can always see her friends go out to the clubs on days that I told her was going to call her. I did a lot of shit for her, I came down and give her money when she needed it the most. Even if it was more then what I had. Helped her give her car. The time when we was dating she only came to see me two times......on my gas money! The times I came down 9 on my money, that I save just to see her with her. The girl never loved me, just was using me....... now I hate that I ever loved her.

I forget a lot of her downfalls. And she had a lot. She really fucked it up for alot of bi girls out there for me. And girls that like to go to the clubs all the time. more fucked up a day after ending it, She told me that she was going to have a 3 some with her best friend's little sister and some guy. It hurts and now I’m laughing at my self that I fell in love with a whore.
Just to think I really wanted someone who act just like her.
All the shit she put me thought with her lies.
I was a fool to ask her to marry me 4 time in our Relationship.
I was everything a girl wee want in a guy, and I give her everything.
Knowing in all of my Relationships but one  I was cheated on. She go and this to me.
I see why Will Smith killed his self in Seven Pound. Out of what he did. I’m doing out of what my life been.
And now

Now I live with my best friend after losing my job in Indiana and can’t get a job for the life of me. Every where I try to go all ways tell that they have everyone they need or it’s going to take time to call everyone back! I been here in Georgia for two months. Stall no job, no money, and all I have to look Forward to is writing, sleeping, and eating. Being let down by everyone and everything around me is starting to become a way of life. Starting to think noting good is going to came from my life.

I have to find my place in my sorry life with a dream of being a writer and or playing football for a pro team. I come so far from being the kid with a learning disorder and a Speech Problem.
Only having a hand full of people that support you. Is hard to try to keep your head up and look at the other side of life. A lot of time I pray to God to sent me a lot money to help me out in this time of need. But no. noting. Maybe it’s his way of telling me to deal with it and to man it out.
If I can only get a job as a write or ever a contract. And then maybe I can be happy and put on where a left out writing good happy stories.

 You have to see why I wrote “A Boy No More, What No One Knows About a Crying Man, The Boy Without Love and The Girl No One Wanted.” to get everyone some inside they are all about me and what I been thought in like. But The girl no one wanted go’s with The boy without love as the other side of his story. My first 4 poems I ever wrote are them. Not so happy now huh! I’m crying out for help and hoping some one there well me make my dream come true.