that handsome black guy's blog: "my life"

A true Story about a man that nothing to live for.

 ”Hell found me” I said as I lay on the floor of this run down apartment.
 Stall feeling the pain and hit from the night before running through me. Looking up from the floor with darkness and hot summer’s night air surrounded me, holding me to the floor like a Sumo is on

top of me. I shake me head to clear it from the weighed down like feeling. I struggled to get on my feet, standing upright with my head down. I ran my hand through my hair bring my head up with the

pain of last night.

earlier that day

 ”James what the fuck are you doing here!” my baby’s momma said screaming at me.
 ”coming to see my son” I said trying to walk in the door.
 ”the hell you are!” she shouted at me with her finger in my face.
 ”come on get your finger out of my face and let me see my son” I said again trying to walk by her as she stand in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
 ”we need to talk” she said letting me in.
 ”you have to give me some kind of money, your his father!”she said looking at me with her big ass eyes.

 I stop walking and turned around and said ”Marry you I don’t have any money”.
 ”Well your son can’t live on you just seeing him where ever you feel like coming over.”
 I toke a deep breath and handed over five dollars to her.

 ”It’s a start” she said as she toke the money.
“i known you had something” she added
 I just walked away to my son’s room to play with him.
 ”daddy!” he said very happy to see me.
 ”what Happen to your face?” he asked
 ”daddy ran into some people that didn’t like him” I replied.
 Have a flashback of six guys walking up to me with two of them holding baseball bats.
 ”where is the money you own me” asked one of the guys.
“yeah where is John money” his friend asked me.

 ”I don’t have it” I answered.
 two of the guys penned me to a wall holding me back with my arms out.
 John and his friend stayed where they was at as the last two became look outs.
 ”so you think that your not going to pay back what you own” John said.
 ”I’m going to make your life a living Nightmare, you well be calling out for god” John continue.
 ”but god well not help you, because he don’t care about dope heads like you” John said poking me in the face with the bat as his friend next to him laughing at my pain.

 ”You know I’m not going to hit you, I’m going to let my boys kick your ass” John said as he walked away.

 ”boys show him why we call our self the hell found me boys” said John as look back with a evil smile.

 beating me half to death with their bats and kicking the shit out of face and body for it seem to for hours.
 When they was done i was left for dead, I was broken and was in a lot of pain. Crying for help but no one wanted to stop, they walk by me. Tears ran off my face as I tyred to get up under my own

power. Realizing that I may not make it back home to my darkened run down apartment. Tears stall ran down my face mixing with the blood from my cuts on my cheeks.

 I don’t know how I made it back home. Just to think that was two days ago.
 ”daddy your crying” my son said pulling me back to from my flashback.
 ”sorry daddy was thinking of that time, it is nothing Sam I don’t want you to think about it” I said trying to get him to play with his toys.
 We played for hours on end into Marry told me that I had to go. Walking out the door she said to me ” you need to get off of that stuff your on, you want your son to grow up with a punk for a

father”
That was something I really didn’t need to hear, not at this time.

 walking home I just happen to see a gun in the trash. I pick it up and put it in pants to take it home. Some people well take the gun and shoot the six guys that hurt them,no not me i have another

reason for it, reasons that take me back to now. Standing in a darken run down apartment hold a gun in my hand. walking over the chair that is out of the moon light. Some how hearing kings of Leon

revelry playing in my head. As i sat in my chair and put the gun to my head, I once more thought back on the life I had and what I did on way to now. Childhood to being a preteen, playing with my

friends in the woods behind the house at my Mom and dad’s. Acting like I going to war with my bee bee gun as my friends follow me. To sneaking out my room after dark to chill with my best friends

as a teen and that first kiss with the girl i liked. The birth of my son Sam, my first apartment with Marry and my son Sam home for the first time. Are going to be gone because i don’t want to live

with the pain of losing them, Tears run down my eyes as I uncover an note from the night before and said my last words “hell found me” as I pulled the trigger.

 The end……..