Well, today is a bad day... it's icy outside.... it's supposed to be another ice storm.... the fucking electricity might go out, who knows for how long.... I am just not prepared for this....
And, other than that, today has been a really shitty day.... dennis has been screaming yelling and all that other bullshit at me... And as usual, we got into it bad, but then his mom came over... yeah... made it evn worse... she is like "it takes two to fix a marriage" i'm like, ya, unless you wanna be attending your sons funeral soon, i wouldn't think you'd want me around him.... Cuz i am so sick of this shit... day in and day out, same drama same bullshit, i can't deal with this much longer.... it's just, not something i can deal with anymore...
It's like, you keep all of your anger, and pain on the inside, at some poit you HAVE to release it.... why is it that the sight of blood does that? it's like, when you get so upset, you just want to be able to feel something, because by that point, you cant feel anything... it's like you cant control anything in your life, and it's just like, i dunno.... it gets so bad i can hardly breathe.... but then something as simple and little cuts, and some blood.... and I feel ok... I dunno... I know I shouldn't do it... but it helps.... It helps me get through the bullshit with him... hell at least i don't have a crazy drug habit or something...
anyways, i guess thats all for now....
