So I leave soon... Back to KY... its kinda scary! lol Im completely excited though. I feel like Im finally going back home! I dont think its really hit me thought that I'm actually moving... I feel like its all happening in slow motion!!! lol I have got so much to do and a very little time to do it all in :P lol Its kinda crazy but there's one person in particular that I absolutly cannot WAIT to see... He has been one of my closest friends for the past few months. And especially recently as I try to sort out my feelings for my husband and decided what I'm going to do. lol i dunno... i guess im just rambling :P

Holy Hell!!!!!!!!!! Its about fucking time that i get out of this place... Now dont get me wrong.. ive met a few (very few) but a few good ppl that i really liked up here... But for the most part ppl up here are rude, nosey, stuck up ppl.... And i hate that! When Matt and I moved up here it was with the understanding that we would move back to KY within a year... and now that it's been almost 2 years... Im goin crazy... I finally finally am in the position that i can move back to KY... and it seems its came at the perfect time! Between all of matts family drama and my stress level I truely believe that i need to get the hell out of here before I fucking loose it and hurt someone! In my entire life i dont think i have ever been as unhappy as i have been the past 6 months... And trust me... I've been REALLY unhappy before! I just need to go back home... to be with MY family... To see Kali raised with my mom being there... Dont get me wrong. Matts family has been wonderful with her and i truely appreciate EVERYTHING they've done for my little family. BUT they are not what i need right now... this is definatly one of the hardest times in my life and all i want it to be around MY friends... MY family! I dont think thats so much to ask for... And yes i knwo it will be hard on Kali.. I've thought about that a million times before... But she is still young... it will be a lot easier for me to move than it would be in say 2 years when she's 4! But I am SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!! We're leaving this coming Sat... Less than a week :) and then ill be there for good :P lol

LOOK OUT BOWLING GREEN!!! IM COMIN HOME!!!

totallypimpedout.net

Attention ladies and gentlemen.... I have the JERK of the day!!!! Read the conversation this guy had with me... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ niceguy: damn ur hot ->~*~The Fal...: thank you niceguy: look hot in glasses ->~*~The Fal...: lol ty niceguy: ihate the military so i dunt want to talk to u and sorry and marrying a military guy is dumb ->~*~The Fal...: ha... fuck you... if it wasnt for military men like my husband you'd be some towel heads bitch atm niceguy: nope so fuck off whore ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then he blocked me So if you support what our men and women are doing over there then click the pic and let this guy know!

I like a really great cup of coffee... But I guess I won't be drinking Starbucks anymore!!!! Recently Marines in Iraq wrote to Starbucks because they wanted to let them know how much they liked their coffees and to request that they send some of it to the troops there. Starbucks replied, telling the Marines thank you for their support of their business, but that Starbucks does not support the war, nor anyone in it, and that they would not send the troops their brand of coffee. So as not to offend Starbucks, maybe we should not support them by buying any of their products! I feel we should get this out in the open. I know this war might not be very popular with some folks, but that doesn't mean we don't support the boys on the ground fighting street-to-street and house-to-house. If you feel the same as I do then pass this along, or you can discard it and no one will never know. Thanks very much for your support. I know you'll all be there again when I deploy once more. Sgt. Howard C. Wright 1st Force Recon Co St Plt PLT PLEASE DON'T DELETE THIS . . ALLOW IT TO BE PASSED TO ALL IN MEMORY OF ALL THE TROOPS WHO HAVE DIED SO THAT WE MAY HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE TO SUPPORT THEM OR NOT! ! ! JUST A NOTE TO THIS : STARBUCKS "HAD" STORES ON SEVERAL MILITARY BASES IN THE UNITED STATES, WHICH ARE NOW BEING REMOVED BECAUSE OF THIS. GO GET'EM AMERICA STANDUP FOR OURSELVES Also, don't forget that when the Twin Trade Towers were hit, the firefighters and rescue workers went to Starbucks because it was close by for water for the survivors and workers...and Starbucks charged them!!!

Is it crazy to want to stay and work things out? I love him... I do... And No I don't understand why he did this. But I do believe he is sorry. Even though sorry doesn't change anything. I dunno... I have put in too much time and effort to walk away now.... But we'll see. It's not over till its over!

I don't know what to do now? I mean everyone keeps asking me if I am going to stay or leave. And I don't know.... I have no clue what to do. I just still cant beileve this is happening. He cheated on me... he actually slept with someone else... I keep having to tell myself that b/c i just can't wrap my mind around it. I don't understand how this happens. I know it's obviously b/c apparently I dont give it up enough or hell maybe i'm just not good in bed anymore. I dunno. I wish I did though. I wish there was a specific reason why this has happened. But I think it's just one of those things... one of those bad things that always seems to happen to me. I don't think I'll ever be in a happy relationship. I think that is something that is impossible for me to have. How can I stay? How? I mean I can't even stand him looking at me right now... much less touching me. Everytime I close my eyes or even think about him I see him with her. And everytime it feels like some one knocked the wind out of me. But then again i don't see how i can leave. I love him.... Hell Im married to him. How can i just give that up. How can I walk away from that? I just can't see the beginning to this road. I can't find the way that I start working through this. Im lost I don't know how to do this? How do you rebuild trust once someone destroys it? How do you not worry moment that you're not with them? How can I ever have a good healthy relationship with someone who apparently was willing to throw it all away? Is it possible?

What do you do when you find out the one you love, the one who you thought you was going to spend the rest of your life with, is a lying cheating bastard????? I loved my husband! I gave him everything he could ever want... hell i supported both of use so he could sit on his ass at home.... and what do i get for it.... I get up this morning and pick up his phone b/c it was laying in the floor... it beeps at me.... so i flip it open and it says he has 3 new messages.... well all the night before he said he was texting his best friend andy.... so I assumed it was him.... well to my suprise it's some fucking slut who is asking him if last night was good for him.... and talking about how the military uniform is hot.... so i leave! Figure i'll clear my head and walk around the park for a while..... well i get online... and get to snoopin around.... lo and behold i come across a messege between him and the texting girl.... talking about meeting monday morning after he drops me off for work.... now i sit and think... That explains why he always sends our little girl to daycare.... and why he was asking me what time i had to be at work monday... and why he didnt do his normal bitching about it being too early.... Now all these random things start clicking into place.... And this slut that he's talking to is not just a slut... she's got to be the most disrespectful person on the earth.... shes also married... and she KNEW that he was married... hell I've actually MET the whore.... i mean how disrespectful do you have to be to cheat on your husband while he's in basic training.... isn't there like a law that says something about you're not allowed to cheat on your husband if he's away for the military or somethin.... i dunno all i know is that now i'm stuck.... up here in fucking ohio... where i don't have any GOOD friends to cry to and no way to really get back to KY... omg... what am i supposed to do now?

Hmmmm.... have you ever just had a day that you felt all down and you couldnt put your thumb on why? That's how its been all day! It didnt help that work sucked as usual! But what's new about that! Dont get me wrong... i like my job.. but once you've been there 10 days in a row without a light at the end of the tunnel, it gets a little aggrivating! I think i REALLY just need a day off to do nothing! I miss those!