I have decided to post the stories I submit to the paper in this blog folder. have fun. This is my most recent article I am going to submit.
It is summer, which means it is graduation time. Some are moving on to a four year college; some are finishing up high school. All should be moving on to bigger and better things. When I was younger I gleaned wisdom from those more experienced than I, and now I try to do the same thing for those about to take the next step in life. Here is some advice, such as it is.
Friendship and trust are wonderful things; in life you need a friend that you can trust with your secrets, your life, your money and your wife, even if it isn’t in one person. All my friends in my inner circle I can trust with my life and my money. Only once has a friend ever betrayed my trust with a girlfriend, and he is a friend no longer (not sure what she is doing either) but few know all the secrets. Truth be told not everyone can handle, or even want to know, your inner workings. Not everyone needs to know how many skeletons you have in the closet, or if you have a whole graveyard in there. A good friend knows where the bodies are buried (metaphorically speaking of course) a close friend has a shovel on standby.
Which brings us to the next point, always have a person in the group that is the voice of reason. Every time you do anything with more than two people, at least one person should be the voice of reason, and those people should never be outnumbered more than four to one. If you have six people, two must be the voice of reason. You can avoid a lot of trouble if you have at least one person say, “I don’t think slashing that cop’s tires is a good idea.” Having friends that are the voice of reason has kept me out of a lot of trouble since that is a role that clearly I will not be filling in any group.
I know someone who thought it would be a good idea to take a couple motorcycles for a test drive with his friend, of course they were parked outside a biker bar and the owners were not pleased when the bikes were returned. Had they had a person who was the voice of reason, they might have avoided that beating. Although I think he still thinks it was worth it.
That will move us on to our third nugget of wisdom, live like it is your last day, but plan like you will live forever. When I start to head into the light one day I will not be thinking, “If only I would have…” Regret will haunt you, or at least that is what people tell me.
Make a list of all the things you want to do in your life, separate them into what you have to do before you get married and have kids and what things you can do after. Then do the things on that list! When my wonderful daughter was born almost eight years ago it felt like the next step in my adventure. I took it as a good chance to slow down a little, but it was not a hindrance since I had just finished my ‘things I need to do before becoming a father’ list a few months prior. I have still been outside the country every year since then.
I have a weird case of cabin fever, if I don’t get out of the country every year I go crazy. So at least once a year, I leave the United States and put a stamp in my passport, and so should you. Maybe not every year, but you need to fill some pages in the passport. Going to distant lands will show you just how large, also small the world is.
The planet has a lot of diversity, yet there are a lot of similarities among its people. Getting away from the tourist traps and actually seeing how the people are, or living overseas even if it only for a few weeks will be an eye opening experience and will stay with you for the rest of your life.
I feel very confident in new environments because of my experiences. Once I was in a room of people who looked like they were not going to join my fan club, but I was able to find something I had in common with each person and by the end of the night I had won them all over.
You can live for today, but not at the expense of tomorrow. Do your homework, even if it means missing some fun times with your friends. Every weekend playing Wii with your friends is like every other weekend playing Wii. Buckling down and getting the work done will pay off huge dividends later. Then you will have all the time to play later.
I would rather work hard for 10 minutes and have 50 to mess around rather than drag my feet for 45 minutes getting the work done and only have 15 minutes to play. People who say, “hard work is it’s own reward” are suckers. I am lazy, so even though it looks like I am working hard, I am only doing it so that I can have more time to be lazy later.
Smoking will kill you, end of story. If you smoke, quit, if you don’t smoke, don’t start. Idiots say that while smoking takes ten years off your life it is the ten at the end and they don’t want those anyway. That is true, smoking does shorten your life, not just your overall lifespan, but also the time you have to enjoy life. I watched my Grandmother take her last breaths after being hooked up to machines for a long time.
She spent her last years living in a mobile, manufactured home on her own property while her son lived in her house. She needed a smaller space so that she didn’t have to drag her oxygen tank around while at home. Instead she had a really long hose. My grandmother used to travel the world, and spent almost 20 years trapped in her own failing body, plagued by health problems because of years of smoking.
Learn a dish in each genre of food, that way you will always have something to talk about. Like Italian food? I make a tomato sauce from scratch that it awesome, I also make my own béchamel sauce that I mix the red and white sauce layers when I make lasagna. My burritos are world famous, and I wasn’t allowed to leave Germany until I passed on my ribs recipes to someone who could carry on the traditions when I left. Knowing how to cook sets you up for future success, just trust me on this.
Life is an experience, not merely an existence. You are not as frail, or as invincible as you think. Try new things, if you don’t like it at least you now know. Talk to people you don’t agree with and actually consider their argument. Do things that scare you, meet new people, do things that are ‘uncool’ you will be better for it. Date someone you think is out of your league, unless you are one of the arrogant jerks, you are about two notches up from where you think you are. Especially woman, women are always better looking than they think they are. Remind them of that.
Find a mentor when you are young and mentor someone younger when you get older, just like I am doing now. And one last thing, wear sunscreen.
