SPC Reverend Bakie's blog: "Most Recent Blogs"

I don’t believe this.  I never thought this could happen again, or at least till I was in my fifties.  Some of  you may be wondering why I am even bringing this up in the first place, I don’t know, bored, get it off my chest.  I don’t really expect sympathy or pity over this, so bear with me.  The reason I am talking is that in the next month or so, I will have completed my second time since becoming sexually active that I have went without sex for two years.  Now, I will have to say it was more by choice than of something that was forced upon.  For one, my situation for the past year or so was not very good and a relationship was the last thing on my mind to have, because I tend to want to have money first before having a relationship, mainly to me that is the whole idea.  Of course, I do know some of my friends that do tend to jump first into whatever they get their hands on and worry about money second, if they do worry about money.  Obviously, the relationship tends to not last very long and they just repeat the process over again.  I can never understand that with some of my friends, just not really care about their current situation but yet care about getting into some girl’s pants.  I don’t know, I guess I always try to be more responsible than that, but the sad thing is that these girls they do end up going out with do end letting them get into their pants.  Now, why could someone be such idiots about it, and then turn around and get dumped or break up with the guy because he’s a loser and complain why they did it in the first place?  I swear, some people can be just stupid when it comes to this subject.  At least, however, for my friends that do tend to have a lot, their quality is not as great as their quantity of sexual partners.  Which is something I do pride myself, a little bit at least, that with the exception of one girl, which I will not name names but it doesn’t matter because I don’t talk to her anymore, that every girl I have had sex a lot of guys thought or even said they were hot as hell.  As oppose to some of my friends that sleep around a lot, yes once in a while they do tend to get with a girl that’s very good looking, but most of time their choosing of women are very, I don’t know how to say it, lenient or if they’re breathing and walking on two feet sort of way.  I don’t know, I could never do that, I mean, if there isn’t any kind of attraction with me or the girl, nothing is going to happen.  Which is something I do have to say is another reason for my abstinence, I am very picky with who I sleep with.  Now, physical attraction for me is not very important, I usually like to be with someone that can actually think for themselves than anything else or have actual good taste in some categories, like music, books, art, culture, the important stuff.  For me, as far as physical attraction goes, there can be a girl that is super hot, I mean have a perfect curved body, beautiful brown hair, I mean literally perfect looking, but if they have a hard time counting to ten or don’t know who Lou Reed is, I’m going to just slowly walk away and not look back.  I’m serious, I would, if you don’t believe me, try me!  Now, being picky can have it’s good side, but then have it’s bad side towards things.  Another thing I am picky of is sexual past, which does tend to get me into trouble quite a bit from time to time.  Now, let me mind you, I’m not someone that expects to have a virgin when I am going out with someone.  To be honest, I feel I don’t deserve one, being that I didn’t wait to have sex till marriage.  That’s fine, but I don’t want to be with someone that has been around the block more times than my car has, if you want to know what my car is it’s a 1993 Mercury Cougar, but besides the point.  I would like to be with someone that believes the same how I feel about sexual relations: keep it towards long term relationships, no one night stands, and pretty much not whore yourself out.  I know that this may sound ignorant about how I feel about sex, but this is how I feel about it.  I mean, I know I am not perfect about it, because if I was I would still be a virgin waiting till I get married to have sex.  Of course, some of you may be thinking, well people can change their ways or typical guy thinking about that.  Well, I do believe that people can change, that’s all well and good, but let remind you, not just guys think about their partner’s sexual past.  Oh no, in fact I knew a couple that got married and after they tied the knot, they decided to admit to each other how people they had with before they got with each other.  The wife said she had sex with four other people before getting married, and the husband said fifteen people beforehand.  The wife got so furious towards the husband that she didn’t talk to him for almost two weeks.  So, just remember, it’s not just guys that think about that.  I mean, like I said nobody is perfect, in fact, I would give the woman I would marry a three person leeway, which she can have three more sexual partners than I have, and I will not care.  However, anymore than that, well, as I said before in a blog long long time ago, sometimes it’s just best to lie.  Of course, as you can see, this is why I tend to not have sex very often.  But, to me, it’s not being jealous of the person of having more sexual partners than I do, it’s just the thought of STD’s.  That’s my issue on that, I am literally a phobic to STD’s, and I believe and always will believe that the more people you have sex with, the greater chance you have to get an STD, point blank.  Now, some of you may think, well that’s why they have condoms.  Yes, but condoms are not one hundred percent effective, and even if you wear a condom while having sex, there is an exchange of fluids.  It may not be as much as without a condom, but there is a little bit.  And if you sleep around with enough people, as use a condom, that little bit starts building up and after about, say, thirty partners, it will be a lot.  In fact, once someone gets to only six sexual partners, their chance of getting an STD increases to eighty percent.  No joke.  However, some of you would say, well that’s why you get checked up every year.  True, it’s good to get checked up, but a lot of people don’t do that.  It’s either their irresponsible or just don’t have the money to do it.  Either way, I would just like to be with someone that has, and always has been responsible when it came to sex, and treat it more than just for pleasure.  Blah, much better, I guess.  I feel better getting it off my chest, and I hope I didn’t anger too many people doing so.  However, thinking about if this period will ever end.  I sort of don’t like going through one of these, because I remember the last time I went without sex for two years, I ended that period on a pretty bad note.   I don’t want that to happen again.  But this may even be longer than before, I’ll be going into the military in the next few months and I’ll be even more busier than before, so I may not have the time.   

It’s Saturday Night, and you’re with your friends playing Dungeons & Dragons, a role playing game worthy of geek proportions, or could you be playing World of Warcraft, a very addictive online computer game with some of your buddies hundreds of miles away in the dark!  Or even playing Call of Duty just because you like war! Whatever your taste is, go for it.  However, since thinking about my last blog on Role Playing games, I began thinking I may have left some things out, but I cannot remember what.  But since breaking my writer’s block, it was able to give me new ideas of creative expression.  I was thinking since some of my friends have been playing role playing games for almost two years now,  I wanted to do an experiment: make a role playing television show.  Now, this won’t be some stupid reality TV bullshit that has been polluting the airwaves for the last six to seven years.  I want to create a show for gamers, like something to show a group of people playing, and then afterward have like a debate on certain moves or questions on certain traits of a character.  Also, this would be interesting, have a tournament like what they have with poker.  I would think that can be a good show to do, have someone do play by play as the game goes on and so forth.  However, the only problem is having the right equipment for doing such a project.  I only have a web cam, which is only good if everyone is like three feet within the sight of the cam to get good clarity.  Also, the sound only goes the same distance, unless the people scream the entire time of the session.  But, I always wanted to try out directing, and it would be good practice, although I wouldn’t let other people see it because it would be of such poor quality.  Which brings to another project I know that can be done well, a short story on role playing games.  Viewing my friends playing D&D gave me inspiration on doing a short story, it will be something of a prequel to another story I started but haven’t finished yet titled Strays.  I want to create a story, sort of rekindle the spirit of one of my older short stories, for some of you that do not know the title of that story is The Chicken Nugget Incident.  However, this time the story will be longer and much more dramatic.  I thought of this because of thinking that role playing games were sort of a waste creativity, why not try something worth while?  I have already made an outline of the story, and made the character’s names, but the story has no title yet.  It doesn’t matter though, a title will come as the work progresses.  I would like to try to finish this work by the time I go into Basic Training, but I think it can be done.  Plus, I can just use the filming of the game for notes on my story.  This will be good, to rekindle my writing touch and feel less useless as I felt for the past year or so.  I see this being a good story, very good one.

Ah, I just had to do that.  It almost has a good ring to it, if you think closely enough.  Anyways, I wanted to share more about my recent signing up into the Armed Forces, which for me I’m going into the Army.  You won’t believe how I’ve felt going into the military, I have this renewed, refreshing  taste in life again, which is something I haven’t felt in quite some time.  Especially now, ever since getting laid off  last year and since trying to look for a crappy job which has been more like pulling teeth  than anything else, I need some light to shed on me.  I have this sense of pride in me now, being that I am going to have a chance to serve my country.  Now, for some of you that don’t really know the extent of my background, I’ll give you a briefing of it:  I have always supported the military and our troops since I was a little kid.  In fact, I have been into military history since as far as I can remember.  I have always wanted to join the military when I was younger, but thanks to a dad that kept telling me that I may not like it, I never did.  I was about to join the military twice before, first time when I got out of high school, and the second time when I was twenty-two after a terrible breakup with an ex-girlfriend.  It seemed that every time came up, a better opportunity arose from it before I even got a chance to fill out my papers.  Also, I was told before by a recruiter I may not be able to go in due to being an only child, which I even thought they would’ve kept enforcing even to this day.  However, I told them I have no siblings, and they said it wasn’t a problem, so I joined.  It’s funny how there were some people I talked to thinking that I almost went off the deep end when I signed up.  Well, for one, other opportunities were not around, and I am the type that hates being out of work for long periods of time.  Second, just simply my living situation I want to change because as I said before if I lose the place where I am living now, I would be homeless.  As a result, I saw the military something as security for a roof over my head.  Now, for some of you may be thinking, well what about family or friends, why the military?  This is pretty much a broken record that I’ve said plenty before, it’s just simply I will not live back with either of my parents, and other family I don’t talk to anymore.  As for friends, well, I don’t want to burden them as much as I have already, they have done more than enough.  Plus, I like to be self-sufficient as possible.  But this is a wonderful opportunity for me to go into the military, and I am looking forward to getting into the best shape I’ve been in yet.  For a long time, I always said if I did join the military, I would go into the Army because there’s a lot of things you can do in that branch.  Whereas the other three branches; Navy, Air Force, and the Marines, when you pick the job you want when signing up, you’re pretty much stuck doing that you’re entire tenure of service.  But with the Army, you can do different jobs, as long as you meet the requirements.  Also, in the Army, you can move up in rank a little quicker than the other branches, which means better pay in the long run.  And finally, I always saw myself as a soldier, as oppose to a sailor, or to a certain extent an airman.  The Marines was something I wanted to go into back when I was younger, but I am glad it was merely a phase.  I have heard too many horror stories of people in the Marine Corp. that it scared me out of it.  Also, I remember my ex-girlfriend’s dad giving me an ass chewing about joining the Marines.  Being he served in the Navy, he knew a lot about the objectives of the Marine Corp., and he kept telling me it doesn’t take a lot of brains to get shot and killed.  I know, the Marines are usually the first group of soldiers to deploy in a combat situation,  their purpose is the secure positions for the other branches to move into the battle.  Also, the Marines are like the Navy’s soldiers,  which technically they’re part of the Navy; they guard the ships and docks, and when a ship is out to sea it usually keeps group of one hundred Marines on board just in case if there is fighting on land and the Navy guns can’t silence it, the Marines go on land and stop it cold.  There are some technical jobs in the Marines, even some jet fighters and tank crewmen, but primarily the Marines are an infantry unit, and as their famous motto goes, First to Go, Last to Know.  Although the Army does have an infantry unit, I always felt they teach more tactical maneuvers than the Marines do, so that was a big plus.  Also, one thing not a lot don’t know is the Marines used to be a Department for the Army before switching to the Navy.   Now for the Navy, it’s a good branch to be in, because there are so many opportunities of technical work you can get into, and stuff you can do outside the military after switching back into the civilian world.  The only thing is if you can handle being out in the ocean for fifteen months at a time.  That was my reason for not joining the Navy, because I couldn’t handle being out in the middle of the ocean, thousands of miles away from the nearest dry land.  Also, there was a time when I went out fishing in the Gulf of Mexico when I was little, and I got very, very seasick.  Since then, being on a boat for long periods of time was a bit of a challenge.  However, if you are someone that likes being on a boat or a ship, the Navy is for you.  Being a sailor is not really being a fighting soldier, you’re more of a mechanic, radar man, or even a post man or tailor.  Basically all ships, battleships, aircraft carriers, destroyers and so on are like floating cities.  All the crew members have two jobs to perform, the first being everyday work to keep the ship going during peacetime, and the second if there’s a war going on and if it goes on red alert, the crew goes to their assigned battle station.  The sailor usually only fights to defend the ship, man the guns on it to repel the enemy, and even the Navy has jet pilots as well.  As far as land fighting is concerned, they let the Marines handle that.   As for the Air Force, that was my second choice of branch to join, but it was ago that kept me out.  Their cutoff age is twenty-seven, and being twenty-nine, they said no.  However, the only problem I would have if I went into the Air Force was that I couldn’t learn to fly a jet, for that being you got to have 20/20 vision to even be considered to, which is something I don‘t have.  Also, I found out you have to be an officer to be able to fly an aircraft, I don’t know if that is true, but I can understand why, because one F-16 jet is worth a one hundred million dollars.  An F-22 Raptor is even more, I think the price tag is in the billions.  So, I would assume they would want responsible people handling such valuable equipment, and officers earned their right of passage.  Now, I don’t know if the prices are accurate on the jet planes, but they are very expensive pieces of equipment.  So, if I was able to go into the Air Force, I would have just gotten a desk job at a base, probably go into working on computers or radar.  But my heart has always been in the Army, being some of the people I liked to read about were in that branch, like George S. Patton and William T. Sherman.  Both of these were generals in the Army, Patton in World War Two and Sherman in the American Civil War.  Both of these men I always felt epitomized what generals are suppose to be: hard, fair, and wanting to fight to end the war.  I don’t think I would ever go that far into rank to being a general, considering now there are too many politics in the military today for men that high in rank got to deal with, but they are a good example to stand by when serving in the military.  I cannot wait till I get into Basic Training and start losing all weight I have gained over the years.  Going into the Army for me is almost like living a childhood dream coming true, and I want to make the most of it.  After Basic gets done,  which for some of you that don’t know where I’ll be going is at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, I get to go to Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville, AL to train for Ammunition Stock Control and Accounting Specialist, the whole proper term of the job.  After Basic, I become a PFC, or in civilian terms is Private First Class, being that I have college background, and I may even raise up to that rank before Basic if I study the Military Alphabet, General Orders, or anything else they need me to remember.  I just started to learn marching techniques at my future soldiers’ class at the recruiting office in town.   Plus, I started to do some physical training and was able to lose ten pounds in one week.  At that rate, I’ll be well in shape when comes to November, the time I get to ship out.  But the training I am doing though, is not only training for Basic, I’m training for Airborne School, which is what I want to go into after my job training is done.  I always wanted to be a paratrooper in the Army, and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity.  Also, if I can pull some strings being I’m not going into Infantry in my first term, I want to try Ranger School.  Like I said, I want to make the most of my military experience.  I signed up for four years, just to see how things go and if I like it enough, I may re-enlist.  I mean, I don’t anyone to go to, I haven’t had a girlfriend in about two years now and I don’t have children.  There’s nothing for me in the town I am living in now, and it’ll be good to get out of Illinois for a while.  I even talked to my CO or Commanding Officer about how Redstone Arsenal is and what I can do if I go back to school and finish my Bachelor’s in Accounting.  He told me Redstone Arsenal is a very laid back base, fairly small, and when I looked up online to find coffeehouses in the Huntsville area, I saw there’s one right down the street of the base.  I was quite thrilled about finding that out, being that’ll be my place to go if I can get off base for a little bit.  Also, if I finish up my Major in Accounting, I can apply to work in the payroll for the US Army, which means very good money, and a very good retirement plan.  But I see going into the Army to help kick start my business once more, and perhaps getting that to full swing.  Shoot, I may even continue doing the Army after my business gets successful, just because I like the military.  I am the kind of person that wanted to join to get something with civilian credibility and also learn how to fight, which is why I wanted to do Airborne and Ranger School.  I’ll just have to see what happens from there.

Hello again, fellow readers.  Wow, I think this is the longest I have went without typing a blog!  Well, there were some reasons behind the situation.  First off, I have been sort of busy on other things to where I didn’t have time to type up any new topics and so on.  Also, there was an extreme lack of topics to talk about.  However, I have been gathering up a good amount of topics over the past couple months, so I will try to go and do some typing to kill some time.  And finally, I got bored of the internet.  I know some of you may think how could that be or I saw you online a few times.  Well, there just were some things that I just got burned out on that’s on the internet, and the only times I would be online were to check email, and if someone I knew was online, I would talk to them.  All in all, I was trying to limit my time on the internet.  One thing I felt for this was my impatience for not finding work and trying to end my current situation.  But that is about to change in the next few months, being I joined, the military that is.  Yes, for some of you that don’t know now, I have just joined the Army.  Wait now, don’t get uptight, or get flabbergasted, it was something that I needed to do.  For the past few months, I’ve been getting turned down from every single meaningless job in my area, and I just got fed up with living one step away from being a bum.  I mean, when you literally beg to someone for a part time food job, and still get turned down, it’s time to get the hell out of dodge.  So, for those couple months of looking for work, I was also thinking about the military.  Over the years, I have been contemplating about joining, but never knew when.  I was going to join right after graduating high school, but thanks to stupid parents talking me out of it, I didn’t do so.  Another time when I was about to join was after going through a very terrible breakup with an ex-girlfriend, which thinking now I should have joined right then, being that I would not have had to deal with my parents again.  I still don’t know why I didn’t join then, but oh well.  Perhaps though if I did join the military then, I would not have gained knowledge of accounting as I would later on.  However, now being in the pickle that I am, this is the time to go in. Ever since getting laid off from my last job a little over a year ago, things just seemed to turn from bad to worse.  Nothing seemed like it was going right, and the setbacks just kept coming and coming and coming.  But now, there needs to be a change.  My living situation is not at all at best, but it’s the only thing keeping a roof over my head, and if it somehow goes away,  I will be left on the street.   Now, some of you may think, “Well, what about your parents or family?”  There is no option with them, and I made that decision when I moved out of my dad’s place a year and a half ago.  I have already moved out and moved back in too many times as it is, and I am not doing it again, and I will not go back to living with an alcoholic that thinks he knows the entire world.  As for my mother, well, I don’t care if I ever see her again.  She has done so many bad things to me and my father, and still to this day does not think she is at fault.  So, as for that, she can think whatever she wants, but I will not be in the picture to tolerate it.  Plus, I need to move on and get myself out of this rut.  I am so sick of the area I live in for it’s extreme lack of opportunities of employment.  I still to this day, don’t know how the area survives.   If my car was in working condition, I would try to get something near Chicago, but that means driving almost an hour one way to work, and the pay would not be all too good.  And that’s if I can get a job!  So, as a result, it’s time to get up, get dusted off, and start from scratch, before it gets too late for me.  I felt the military would do just that for me, I got into working in Ammunition Stock Control, which is the closest thing to accounting in the Army.  I thought I was going to be Active Duty, but I’ll be only in Reserves, as what the counselor told me.  I decided on the Army because  there’s so many different things you can do in that branch, being it’s the largest one of the four.  I was too old for the Air Force, because the cutoff age was twenty-seven.  And besides, if I did go into the Air Force, I wouldn’t be able to fly a jet due to my eyesight.  You have to have perfect vision in order to get into flying a jet.  The Navy wouldn’t be bad, but I have this thing of being on a ship in the ocean for fifteen months at a time, or I should say being in the middle of the ocean miles away from the nearest land.  And for the Marines, well, at a time when I was young and stupid watching the movie Full Metal Jacket I wanted to join the Corp., but I am glad it was only a phase.  There are numerous stories of  what happens to people when they become a Marine, and none are not very good.  Also, it is the branch with the highest divorce rate, and being part of the Navy meant being on a ship so it was a no for the Corp.  The Army, as I said before, you can do many things.   For instance, even though I’ll be in Ammunition Stock Control, I can still do something I always wanted to do if I ever went into the service: be a Paratrooper.  After I get done with Basic and Job training, I am going to try out for Airborne, which means more money a month, having a pair of wings on my uniform, and just another thing to make look like a badass.  It will be vigorous, but the school being only three weeks should not be too bad.   After that, if I can do so, I want to try Ranger School.  I’m sorry, but I want to get as much Army experience as I can while in my time of duty.  Ranger School is the toughest of training in the Regular Army; two months of training in extreme temperatures, fighting, and combat styles.  They have three phases in the Ranger School, and if you pass all three, you become a Ranger.  But the only thing that may not let be go into Ranger School is that I’m not going to be in Infantry after Basic Training, but if I can go into Airborne School and pass it, then why not Ranger School?  Oh well, I’ll worry about it when Basic is over with.  But I am happy for doing this, I was amazed how hard and complicated it was to even join the military.  Not only having to get all the paperwork together for my recruiter, even though he said I was the quickest recruit he put together and head out to MEPS, which is the place where they have people get checked out if they’re capable of being in the military.  I got all my paperwork ready, which was high school and college transcripts, work history, references, places where I lived, and background check.  That took a total of three days to obtain, and after that had to do a drug test at the recruiter office before heading out to MEPS.  I was sort of surprised I passed it, but we won’t go into that till another time.  Lets just say drinking lots of coffee, water, and tea can do many wonders for you.  Anyways, as I was at MEPS, they did a lot of tests, took my blood, checked my ass for hemorrhoids, and I had to piss in front of a soldier, just to see I am using my own pee.  It took me three times to go to the bathroom in the cup provided for my drug test.  I’m sorry, but I’m just not used to having an audience when I go to the bathroom!  However, I get to do it again when I go to Basic Training, only now it’s with the Drill Sergeant and if I can’t do it right then and there, I do pushups till I can go to the bathroom.  That’ll be fun!  Anyhow, I’ll be showering with many other naked guys, but at least I can look up at the ceiling and do my business without worry.  Other than that, once it’s all over, it’ll be worth it in the long run.  I’m looking forward to losing a lot of weight, to getting back to the weight I was back in high school, which was 160lbs.  But it would be even more better if I become 160lbs of muscle, which I was never in high school.  The nine weeks of Basic shouldn’t be too bad, just train hard and not worry about the time and it should go through quickly.  I get shipped out on Nov. 4, from the place where I went to MEPS, and I go to Fort Jackson, South Carolina, just outside of Columbia.  The nickname for the place is called Relaxin’ Jackson, which is because it’s the more lenient of all the Basic Training camps.  I’ll be there during Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is not a big deal for me because I don’t celebrate those holidays anymore.  I would just be sad that I’ll be there for New Years, but sacrifices will have to be made.  After going thru Basic, I get shipped to Fort Redstone in Huntsville, Alabama where I get trained to do Ammunition Stock Control and be stationed there till further notice.  Luckily, I do know someone in Alabama but they live down in Auburn, but the drive won’t be too bad.   Plus, after my training to do Ammunition Stock Control is done and I do sign up for Airborne School, all I have to do is go down to Fort Benning near Columbus, Georgia, which is only a few hour drive from Fort Redstone.  Also, it’s the place where Ranger School is as well.  It will be a wonderful experience for me, and a good opportunity to get back on my feet.  Also, it’s a way for me to get out of this retched town I live in for a little bit, and out of Illinois for now.  It’s going to be weird because I never lived outside of Illinois before, I mean, I traveled all over the place, even went to Mexico, but never lived outside the state.  It’ll be a good change for me, I do need it.  Although I do thank my friend for letting me stay at his place for as long as I have, and was able to put up with me for the time, but I need to move on and continue to accomplish my goals.  Plus, I assume my friend would like his place back to himself.