godmatrix's blog: "Morning time"

False hope, We all deny it, we all ignore it but truth be told- we all carry it. We are in broken down dreams fantasizing it would get any better. We work for a company we hate but still we go in and out of it everyday. We are in relationships that is not intimate nor passionate. We buy million dollar homes only to be locked up in one room. Fantasies, illusion, smoke screen - call it what you will, it exist. It exist because we want it to exist and ignore reality. Nothing is real unless we say its real. So, we go to clubs with tight jeans thinking we will meet our ideal idol all they while you leave your wife or husband to take care of the kids while you party. Nothing is real unless we say it to be. So, what do we do - we create scenarios in our heads to think that one day, our ideal fantasy will become a reality. False hope, false faith, faith motive... we can never control the environment because we are socially created for the environment. We can live anywhere in this planet and survive - but if you were born in one part of the continent and decide to go to another area without proper preparations - you will die. So, you fantasize.. You buy four wheel drives so one day you can go off-road or you buy a boat so one day you can go fishing or whatever.. These are false hopes and these is what kills you. Get real.

Things I learned before going into law school 1) You can go to law school after high school 2) All about the essay 3) You can get in without taking the LSAT 4) Most of your time will be reading 5) Most of your time will be reciting 6) It pays to have a brief template 7) It pays to have a tape recorder 8) More girls then boys in law school 9) More boys practicing law then girls. 10) Remember its all about paper work Now what did I really learn 1) I learned that Tort is not a dish 2) Sue, is not a girls name... 3) Brief is not a bag 4) Assault... its not something you dab on your steak 5) Intent... its not going inside a tent 6) defame is not the actual name of the musical Fame 7) Baby Bar ---- not a candy bar 7) Baby Bar --- not where minors go to for drinks 8) Pass the Bar.... does not mean alcohol level 9) Precedence does not refer to Mr. Lincoln. 10) when you graduate, expect to defer student loan.

What will it take to simply be honest What will it take to be kind What will it take to care What will it take to openly share... Apparently these words are used to be used A weakness, a move. Its not good enough to simply be human So, to those that are caring, be warned. Your heart is open to the lions that roam to the wolves that feast to that which is sincere They target you as weak slow and easily tricked... And when they get away with it Your the victim the cause... You become the victim because you are gentle and warm Innocent and sweet Tender For your heart to be ripped abused and used only to experience it again over and over... Its not your fault It never was... Its those that prey upon you that carry the cast.... They will experience it far worse in return but worse yet the experience to those that they've learned their own will destroy them for learning's taste How ironic the end when your child spits at your face... What will it take.

Morning Time Riddle... Combine the answer to solve the bigger one... What's one question you can never answer no to? Its time for sex when the light is on... I have created music though I've never compose.. I have created poetry though I do not write, I have created dreams.. though I never sleep... Who am I Answer all three... Then tell me where you can find me.

Here I go again. I can't sleep. Perhaps its all these drugs I am getting from the doctor's office. I was told its suppose to relax me. If it did, I should feel something, but still why can't I sleep? I guess to be able to sleep is to be able to acknowledge that you do not have any worries or heartache. In actuality, I have such pain. Now, that I am feeling a bit dizzy, I was told its because the drugs are starting to kick in. I am starting to hallucinate. I am starting to doze off and my topic of discussion swaying to ideas. No one is around but it feels that I am in the middle of a room where people are talking about the pills I've taken to relax. Its best I sign off .. Night all

Insurance and Worker's Comp An Employers nightmare But why does one need worker's comp insurance? Is it because of the employee? Is it because of the potential that they the employee might cause, directly or indirectly ,something that may cause injury? Is it perhaps because the employer is overworking the employee and not paying him enough? Well, my opinion is simple and its mine. The reason worker's comp insurance exist to begin with is because of the Employer's business method. Employees get hurt working and where do most employees get hurt.... while working. Its natural. Many injured employees are being treated like victims because employers extort, trick, and use scare tactics to part from their income. The very income the injured employee got the company to begin with. Employers must first protect. It is the employee that makes employers comfortable sleeping in a large bed. It is the employee that insures productivity is running... then why would he be treated like a victim simply because she/he was hurt at work? Employers get time to make rules that benefit him rather then them.... No, Insurance and Worker's Comp... more likely extortion for motion. Employers that care more about their wealth rather then their employees should re-evaluate what is more important. Take care of you people and your people will take care of you.

Ah, the restless and sleepless nights. What to do What to try Wide awake while all the world sleeps. And why is that? Because something is missing and something is lost. I try to sleep I even follow all the rules Drink warm milk Don't get an afternoon snooze and drink your sleeping pills. So I do, but now why am I awake? Well I am awake because I am. My body is telling me something and I can't properly respond. Ergo, "Cogito, ergo sum" awake.... Its just that simple.

Christmas...a day when peace on earth and good will towards men is suppose to happen. Why though is it the most depressing day? I guess its because its the most commercialized and emotional time of the year. A deadline similar to April 15. I personally despise having to go to christmas parties or get together when you know all your going to do is drink, bullshit and try to get the secretary to place her ass on the copier. I compare Christmas to the IRS. We buy presents to people we don't truly care about, we waste too much time and energy playing mind game thinking of what to get and is it good enough. We yell at our love ones, we spend money, and try to kick that cock habit you got while trying to get a promotion for 5 years only to be passed by by a cute petite high school drop out that gives excellent oratory lectures of clothes, make up and her latest purchase of victory secret. Okay, I don't hate her... she is just too cute. My 10 List Christmas compares to April 15 Coming soon...

Have you ever wondered why most Sunday nights gets depressing. Perhaps its what to come or what I think I failed to do over last weekend. So, another week has past and Monday is here. Should I get up and shave, dress up and prepare. No, I hate to. I want to sleep because I owe it to myself to rest or to sleep or to not do anything at all. I can't stand Mondays not because its a whole new work day - I actually enjoy working - its the people. People that come up to ask how my weekend went only to boast about theirs. To have your manager first come up to you and greet you knowing he is there to assign something he failed to give you months ago and now he needs a rush job. To this my ode to monday. Monday Monday to thee I mock for the losers, the yes man and the irresponsible manager today they flock Only to waste another self justified day of their lives and for me to say yes... you are better and wiser while I murmur and curse... For Mondays bring nothing but boastful discussion and work that is done is never done to Tuesday or Wednesday or with Managers 1 year from now... For Mondays are for the smart little secretary, admin, and low end employee - to them they pick up the crap that those prior fail to realize that its a company that pays you to work... so there... Monday should be called crap day for the people that make it that way.