Everyday seems like the same.
I wake. I eat. I sleep.
Theres so much on my mind right now.
Would you like to take a peek?
I think about my past mistakes.
The things that Ive done wrong.
The experiences that Ive faced.
The times when I was gone.
I think about the memories
that have never left my mind.
I think of all the broken glass,
like hands turned back in time.
Theres so much that you just dont know
when it comes to who I am.
See Ive been there and here and there
and still I choose to stand.
I should be crawling by now it seems.
Where does my strength come from?
Why do people tell me "oh Jerimyah youre smart"
when within I feel so dumb?
Im numb from all my heart has felt.
Im numb from the abuse.
Im numb from all the memories
that started as a youth.
For me this is a way of life
and still I wont give up.
Im not sure how I breathe today
but I know I have some love.
Selfish I am not at all,
in fact Im way too kind.
See i get played and disarrayed
for that kindness deep inside.
Still I wont change who I am,
Ill keep my head on straight.
And soon enough Im sure Ill find
what seems to be my fate.
Its been so hard but still I live.
Theres no way I could give up now.
And even if I decided too
I dont think I would know how.
I want to live and I want to smile.
I want to laugh and sometimes cry.
I want to spend my life with love.
And yes Im afraid to die.
It scares me to think of what could be next
because noone really knows
what happens when our heartbeat stops
or where we really go.
I know that Im not perfect by far
but my heart is good with intentions.
Its just that I have many questions
and the answers have never been mentioned.
So I will continue this path that Im on
to slowly dicover myself
and I will try to leave the negative thoughts
collecting dust upon that shelf.
Its far from easy and yes, its hard
but I will make that stand.
I want to get through the things that I feel
so please extend your hand.
