Mea's blog: "Momma Mea"

My Monologue! (Old woman homeless laying under black steel steps partially hidden under cardboard and news papers talking to herself only the sound of cars and people walking in the distance) I just lay here waiting as the room fades to black... Listening to everything my hearing making me believe the night is calm, but I know it is not (pauses to smile) life is simply an illusion masking the simplicity of deception and worries... Everywhere you look you see happiness but it is all lies (covers herself a little more so now all you can see is her dirty face) or a cover up rather, a cover up of the truth. But you can see it in the eyes, eyes tell all. (Starts rocking gently back and forth) They tell stories; stories of the cheating and remorse maybe even guilt or doubt. Even more the eyes show temptation and treachery, seduction of the best sort, (smiles) full of knowledge, knowledge of the weak, the niave, or just the stupid followers. (Pause) everyone is a follower though. Not many can lead that's why we have the powerful. But see the true power doesn't lie in those that have wealth or ""class"" but the people you least expect. Those who can corrupt, lie, and cause chaos. Those least expected have power beyond your wildest dreams...(coughs) but that's just the real world, the world only you and I see... (Laughs) you walk past me, seeing only the street ahead, but I see you. I see the way your face turns away with the slightest trace of disgust, and I see your nervousness, so rank a smell I can almost taste it. But as you hurry past I just laugh, I laugh knowing that you'll hide your self in your fancy clothes and money, and your perfect family with your (sneers) perfect smiles. But only you and I know the truth. He leaves for a late night at work while your all alone, alone with your young child crying all the time, and he's really down the road, having a quick (pauses giggling a little) drink, with your best friend. I know your thoughts, your worries, your (pause) temptations, you know the truth and that makes you hate you hate him and your child and all those smiling faces... Till you grab the soft pillow just wanting to squeeze out your frustrations. Instead you slowly muffle the cries till they become quieter and final stop...(Takes a long slow breath) now your me... Laying here, (pause) watching, (pause) knowing, and waiting once again for the room to fade black. (Room slowly fades out)

Fire and Ice In the beginning there was love and within that love there were two beings... One with penetrating black eyes, long black hair, and a body so pure not even the biggest ripple from the tiniest pond could reach her. Dedalyan was the goddess of darkness she was born without sight but had a voice filled with beauty. The other was CeSealius god of light with hair of golden sunshine and eyes blue like sparkling sapphires he had a smile that could melt even the coldest of ice. An uninhabited world lay between the lovers, each mourning over the absence of the other decided to change form and meet on this lovely planet one as fire warm an bright the other as ice slick and cold. When they appeared together the fire quickly melted the ice turning it into water, and the water then rushed forward distinguished the fire soon melting the two into one as one they created the ocean... Knowing their union couldn’t last forever CeSealius gave Dedalyan his eyes so she would have a part of him always, CeSealius's eyes soon became the stars in Dedalyans dark sky's watching over the planet at night the time she awoke and ruled over. There love continued to grow on this planet and in turn Dedalyan gave CeSealius her voice where it became the sounds of day where he woke and watched over this lovely world. In the chirping of birds, the blowing of the wind and the giggling of the ocean as it tickles the shore you will hear her voice. CeSealius hated missing Dedalyan so much he created a time before the sun and moon arose in which he could meet Dedalyan and kiss her before each changing of light to darkness or darkness to light and that he named dusk and dawn. As their lips met on the first meeting passion swept over the world and the union of their love created emotion. In a fury of passion Dedalyan and CeSealius put together a strand from each of there heads making human someone that could use the new found emotion and share it in ways they could not... Dedalyan and CeSealius then left the earth CeSealius watching over their creation while Dedalyan slept. Soon dusk would arrive and they would meet again but until then the world they created will bask in the ever-brighter daylight. AND THAT'S HOW THE WORLD WAS CREATED!!!

The Inside Tears like burning embers, lava down my cheeks, heart sinking slowly, in the darkest hole so deep, Painful little moments my wounds and blood bright red, humanity is losing now I'm the walking dead, Emotion seeped right through my pores gone so far away, night and shadows beckon, their secret whispers say: feel the sickness, feel the pain, never will you feel the same, cry no more your tears are dry, and the shell you are is gone, your heartless slumber you will stay now leave me, go, be gone.

Sweet Deception You caressed my heart and held my mind, the briefest touch sending shivers down my spine. And in that one moment all I wanted was you, you and your sweet deception. I wanted your body against mine, I wanted to smell your skin, taste it, feel it, almost like a drug addiction. And now I’m having withdraws and in that one moment all I wanted was you, you and your sweet deception. Sharp shallow breaths, icy chills, crazy images, hallucinations taking over, breath against my cheek, eyes closed, lips almost there, until my eyes open and there I am, alone, left to want, to need, to wish, and in that moment all I wanted was you, you and your sweet deception. I keep waiting, but for what I’m not sure, maybe a gentle sound, the sound of a heart beat, your heart beat, I can hear it in my ears, now almost in rhythm with mine. That soft thump-thump that I know all too well, the sound that races with mine, and makes all else disappear. And in that moment all I wanted was you, you and your sweet deception. But yet I sit here bitter, angry, and drowning slowly in my own morbid sea, wasting tears and heartache, while your with someone else, Yet still in this moment all I want is you, you and your sweet deception.

Smile Jealousy, like bile rising in my throat, I swallow it down replacing it with a smile, A happy glow hiding the sinister hatred in my eyes, Like a shadow, A shadow gone as quick as the passing wind Leaving nothing more then a distant memory, And still I smile, hating this, hating you, Wanting nothing more then to break the fingers that touch what I love, But this feeling, this feeling isn’t me, These demons flowing through my veins aren’t mine, But yet I still hate you, and I still I let theses conniving thoughts fill me up Like a gas tank and soon... I’ll light a match.

Love and Steel I stare into this mirror, Like it’s the only reality I'll ever know, I walk through shadows alone, Unfeeling, I reach inside and feel the hearts of strangers, And still they’ll never know I held their life, I felt their weakness, Making it my weakness, And even more, making it my strength. And then I met you, My knuckles slamming into steel caressing the cold metal, I want inside, I want to feel you moving through my veins, And as I look into the deep eyes of a stranger And shivers race down my spine, I know, I know I've met my one, My flame in the darkness when my body grows numb, And I just stare, Not sure what to do, what to feel or not feel, now I start to fall, Fall into the black abyss, Fall into a desolate world, A world of hurt a world of love, Somewhere I visited only once and barred myself from ever returning, Yet I can look at you and whisper, In one simple breath... I love you... And I mean it.