Terms:.............Definition:
KISS:.................Mom Medicine.
COUCH POTATO:.........What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner.
ICE:..................Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if kids or husbands ever filled the things instead of putting them back in the freezer empty.
OPEN:.................The position fo children's mouths when they eat in front of company.
BECAUSE:..............Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically.
HANDI-WIPES:..........Pants, shirtsleeves, drapes, etc.
EYE:..................The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handed butter knife.
OCEAN:................What the bathroom looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals.
BABY:.................Mom's youngest child, even if he is 42 years old.
GENIUSES:.............Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
ENERGY:...............Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.
DRINKING GLASS:.......Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
BATHROOM:.............A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
AIRPLANE:.............What Mom inpersonates to get a 1-year-old to eat strained beets.
BED and BREAKFAST:....Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
T.V.:.................A device that kids glue themselves to.
EAR:..................A place where kids store dirt.
HINDSIGHT:............What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
OVERSTUFFED RECLINER:....Mom's nickname for Dad.
LEMONADE STAND:.......Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers, and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit fo 15 cents.
DATE:.................Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
DUST RAGS:............See "Dad's Underwear."
APPLE:................Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
MAYBE:................NO.
JEANS:................Which, according to kids, are appropiate for just about any occasion, including church and funerals.
HAMPER:...............A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded By, but not containing, dirty clothing.
CAR POOL:.............Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have the most sugar.
JUNK:.................Dad's stuff.
