gideonstrumpetfl's blog: "My Blog"

Tomorrow, Tuesday April 10. 

It will be a day full of mixed emotion, both some good, and some bad. 

2 years ago, I wasn't feeling all that well, things had been rough on both a personal level and an emotional one as well.  I was seperated (by my choice) from my wife at the time, she suffers from Bi Polar Disorder II with rapid cycling, and I just could not endure the atmospere any longer.  Besides, she had disappeared, and I had no idea where she was.

Some gastric troubles increased, and I started bleeding with more frequency than before.  I thought perhaps it was an ulcer or colitis, and promised to go to the Doctor/ER if it worsened. 

That Sunday, April 10 2 years ago, changed my life.

I went to the ER, the Dr. examined me, and told me I was to be admitted.  Not sure for what, he really wouldn't say, other than I would need some tests conducted.  An mri was done, while I was still in the ER.  No results made available to me.

Now, my close friends know how I am, when something worrysome is going on, I rely on my wit, charm, and will be overt and try to laugh despite what is going on.  That day was no different.

The Nurse in the ER, attending me, was doing her chores, taking blood etc.  All the while sort of getting on my case about my wallet being in my pants (I was already in one of those high fashion gowns) as I wouldn't send my personal property with my buddy that had come by to bring me some necessary items.

I noticed her, she was a very attractive woman, that I estimated was around 50, long dark full head of hair, and a noticable NY accent.  Yes, I flirted with her.  She smiled and responded well to my jokes, and teases.  It put me at ease.

That evening I was finally taken up to the floor, and into my room.  The Dr assigned to me came in, and told me I was NPO after midnight, but that I would have to drink a gallon of "Go-Litely" before then.  Well boys and girls, that is the nastiest crap ever made.  And GO LITELY I did NOT!

The next day I was scoped.  Fun.

That afternoon, the Dr came in and coldly informed me that I had stage two colon cancer and was being scheduled for surgery.  WHAM!

Here I was, all alone, no family, just a couple of friends that stopped by, and NO ONE sitting there with me, keeping me cheerful or calm.

Then, an Angel arrived.  The Nurse from the ER came into my room.  I was surprised to see her, I only knew her first name.  She talked to me for a bit, did her best to calm me down, it worked, and then she did something that totally took me by surprise.  She said "I normally don't do this, but I'm going to write down my phone number".  With that, she said she had to go, but would stop by the next day.

Sure enough, she came in the next morning, could only stay a few minutes, but reassured me she would come back that afternoon, after her shift was over.  I was scheduled for surgery at 11AM.

I was a bit groggy when she returned, the cancer now taken from my body, along with about 17 inches of colon.  I was stapled, but not really feeling anything bad.  She talked for a few minutes and then had to head for home.  But she called my room that evening, to cheer me up.

I was released the following Sunday, violated rules and drove myself home, there.... I am now alone again.

Around 7 that night, I pulled the paper from my bag, and made a thoughtful call to thank her for her kindness.  She responded well, and we talked for a few minutes until I felt the need to get some sleep.

The next afternoon, she called me, and offered to stop by my apartment to "Check on me".  The visit wasn't too long, and she did the same the next day as well.

It wasn't long before she was getting off work, coming by my apartment and leaving the next morning for work..... Soon I began alternating weekends from my home to hers.  Things were moving rather quickly, which I addressed with my brother.  His comment was "If it ain't hurtin' ya, don't knock it"....

About six weeks later, she asked me to move in with her.  I did.  I was totally falling in love with this "Angel".  While I recovered from the surgery, and trying to re-establish my business, I took care of her home, animals, did the cooking, and enjoyed spending time with a wonderful Gal.

The cancer gone, my faith in relationships strong.... it didn't last.

The miscreant soul, scumbag, liar that I have discussed in my previous blogs interfered.  She referred to him as her "Best Friend" almost like a brother.  Too much overqualification.  She had followed this man or rather chased him for 13 years, although she was married and so was he.

I don't fault people for getting involved with others, sometimes is just happens regardless of how much one may try to keep it from happening.

But I do find fault when two "single" people begin a relationship, and someone that is married, living a pack of lies, begins to create a distance between the other two.  I don't know exactly what the trigger was.

She was wanting to move to Alabama, at first I thought not no, but hell no.  For one thing that is where the sorry B-tard lives.  We had our first disagreement over that, and then love overcame reason, and I was about to consent.  We had a two day rift over it, I gave in, we made up, and on Monday Morning, we actually proposed to each other.

She went to work, told her friends and co-workers, who all began to vie for the planning of a wedding.

Tuesday morning it was over.  I suspect that she texted her "Best Friend" of our plans.  Someone put the line item veto power to it.

And then she was gone.

I'm still in contact with two of her adult children, we have actually become quite close.  I don't hear from her at all.  I tried several times to put things back together, but failed. 

There are constant reminders of her around me, not to mention that one of her daughters is a younger version of her.

I am cancer free, so far.  The scar on my abdomen is a daily reminder of those days, the hospital where she works and still does today, and then the memory of meeting her.

Time heals wounds, some faster than others.  The largest and most jagged scar is the one on my chest, where someone literally ripped my heart out.  It will heal, but I sometimes wonder will my heart totally heal.

April 10, 2012