Shadow's blog: "Missing you"

Do you think about me? Do you wish me in your arms? Do you stand outside and look at the stars? Do you stand there and wish I was there? Do you wish me in your hands? Do you know that I cry for you every night? Do you know I watch the stars and think of you? Do you know that I feel as I have lost my place with out you? Do you know that my need for you grows everyday? Do you know that without you I am complete darkness? Do you know that you are my light? Do you believe in me? Do you still care? Do you see a yellow & red rose and smile? Do you think of us? Do you think of me? Do you know that my inner light dims without you? Do you know that my heart aches to be near you? Do you know that I dream of you? Do you know that without you I am broken inside? Do you know...that without you...Nobodys Home?

Video under goes with this blog 110%! As I sit here...I miss my husband more and more. I am starting to really hate where I live only because he is not here with me and my son. I have always known that a house is only a home with love in it...but now...I know this a thousand times more. I feel the distance grow day by day and everyday I feel the need to get on a plane to go see him. I am even to the point that I am willing to drive to see him ((I swear sooner or later I can find it...Florida is a pretty big place)). This is only a small part of how very much I miss Chris. We talk on the phone and yet it doesn't seem to be enough, for sooner or later we run out of what to say. We are so busy trying to get ready for us all to be together that we are ALL under exteme stress...and as the stress grows we are trying to shield eachother from it...so a wall begins to build. Yes, it is all done with the best of intentions, we know it is done out of love. For there is nothing I can do to help him there and he knows that there is nothing he can do for me here. The words I love you and I miss you have been said hundreds of times and yet...there seems to be so much more that should be said. It reminds me that touch and looks are just as important as words. It reminds me that just to have him by my side...and me by his...is a huge part of our life together. Don't get me wrong, our friends have pulled together around me and try to keep me busy...trying to keep my mind off of it all. they call at all hours, come by just to hang out, they take me to do things and go places, but in all my mind chris is there and the wish that he was with me in person and not just emotionally ((spiritually)). I just need to be with my whole family and everyday it gets worse and worse. I have yet had a chance to feel totally married because there seems to ALWAYS be something in our way. You may think that I mean married in a physical way but thats not what I mean at all...I mean it in a sense of just being and building our time and life together. Many of my friends might read this and be surprised that I am being so sensitive but its how I feel and I am missing my life and that life is Chris and Cory.